Monday, September 29, 2008

Er, Where To Begin..?

Now don't tell me you can't relate to the above picture. We've all been down that road at some point. Notice how that wee stick figure has no hair? That's cos he's yanked it all out. (Don't even go imagination.)

I wish I had the time and inclination to put on here everything I think and feel these days. The motivation for spilling out my thoughts seems to have disappeared and I rather miss that about myself.

I'm flying back down south this coming thursday night to spend a week with Dan.....he flew up here for a week not long ago...well, he flew home last Wednesday. We'll only have one week apart this time and already it feels like forever. I miss him terribly when he goes home, but it can't be helped at this stage. I need to focus on the time we do spend together and remember the fact that at the same time last year my life was filled with all sorts of difficulties, stress and downright weirdness.

I'll admit I find it easy to forget that at times. When he's here it's like he's always been here and is just automatically one of those things that make up my every day life. I feel I will continue to wake every morning and find him in the bed beside me...that he'll be the last face I see every night before I fall asleep. Imagining that comes naturally to me, let's face it, I'd been fantasising about it for almost two years. And despite how we can irritate or frustrate each other at times, I've been assured by a friend of mine that this is all completely natural and that I am finally taking part in a healthy, normal relationship...well bugger me! (Uh, actually, don't, but you get the gist).

The boys are good. Cam is in his last term of Uni...he only has about 2 weeks to go and then it's onto exams before he's completed his first year! The year feels like it's been going at warp speed. I have stopped myself from using any comeback with him that involves the words "excruciating pain as I pushed you out of my body", or the like...especially after he responded yesterday with "That's it Mum, you will no longer be consulted on any nursing home we put you into in the future." That kid is forever getting in the way of my groove, pfft.

Ryan is still working part-time at the service station...his hours have been increased next month due to him having more time on his hands and at this point, he'll be starting a year long full time course next February in web design. He did however tell me a few weeks ago that he's thinking of attending university at a later date, as an adult student and possibly studying psychology. Although I was surprised to hear him talk about going to uni at all, it pleased me no end to realise he's been giving his future some thought. May have been very fleeting, but who cares? he's thinking about it at least.

Anna is thriving well in her pregnancy and last month we went for the 20 week scan. All is as it should be...and guess what? We're having a girl! Hooray! Another wee girl. Already named no less. My god daughter...Payton Grace...pretty huh? Notice the "my"? That's me already getting possessive, heh.

Payton-to-be-s big sister, Miss Jaimee, is full of beans as usual and last month I took her to see the movie "Mamma Mia". That was the 4th time I'd seen it lol. (In fact, in August I managed to get Dan along to see it...can you believe that? Got him to a chick flick haha.) Jaimee loved it, and I loved sharing it with her. I also loved the fact that she knew the words already to some of the songs. How can anyone say ABBA's music has not stood the test of time when there's a 4 year old singing the correct words alongside a 43 year old??

Besides continuing to adjust to a real "live" relationship with my special man, and trying to slowly relinquish control of my growing offspring, not much else has changed. Oh, I'm smoking again. I've never stopped and started smoking so many times in one year. Whilst I haven't forgotten the reasons why I stopped and how good I felt when I did/do stop, I'm still bloody smoking.

Anyway, that's enough for now. I'm attempting to give you an update and possibly start the ball rolling toward some regular blogging again. I've still been keeping an eye on you lot out there, despite not making it obvious, but I'm still watching nonetheless. I hope you are all healthy and enjoying your lives and those that are in the colder climates are keeping warm and vice versa.

I am SO looking forward to better weather...sunny days and warm barmy nights, and all that lovely seratonin that goes with it!