Tuesday, October 06, 2009

*gasp* Who IS that masked font?

This far down the track, it's sometimes hard for me to remember where Dan and I came from. Not in the "Who am I?" or "What is my purpose on this earth?" kinda way you understand...but of how we met and how much that totally spontaneous meeting unexpectedly affected both our lives and the lives of those around us.

It's been over 3 years since Dan stumbled across this blog, and almost 3 years since we actually met in person for coffee. Next February it will have been 3 years since I told him I was in love with him.

Don't panic...this is not going to be a post filled with sunlight and rainbows, extolling the brilliance of the above-mentioned man and all he means to me.

Would I do that to you? I mean to say...this is the first time I've put font to screen in over 4 months, do you really think I'd come back and get all gushy/mushy on you? Nah...that'd make even me wanna gag.

The fact of the matter is...that it HAS been such a long time since I had the time or bothered posting anything on here, that it made me think back a bit to when I was actually writing every day...and then well, t'was like the thought association game thingy, blah blah blah...and before you know it...a bit of nostalgia crept in like a young child sneaking around on Xmas Eve...little shit.

ANYWAY...I'm here for the moment. It's been a good/bad and sometimes even ugly 4 months of absence, but always laced with large take-out cappuchino and larger laughs, so nothing lost. Except words on here of course haha.

Almost lost my father in April. My God, I don't think I've ever felt so horribly desperate for anything before. Keep meaning to write about that, but well, got no excuse, just been lazy and still thinking about it now gives me goosebumps of dread. Suffice it to say, he's doing well these days and back to playing golf.

Almost lost myself in June...ok *sheepish* rather dramatic...didn't lose myself, almost or otherwise, but did end up in hospital (courtesy of my diseased gall bladder, pah) and that's where my relationship with Dan moved up (or down) to another level. While he kept vigilance alongside my hospital-bedded arse, he got to see me perform in splendid glory...yeah, he watched me vomit AND wet the bed at the same time...lucky man. THEN he got the major privilege of standing in the toilet cubicle holding up my IV bag while I pee'd. Did I not just say how lucky he was!?? Too bloody right, I don't just let anyone see me pee ya know...I reserve that for very special people.

At this point in time, I'm on the South Island...Dan is at work, I received no dictation files to type up for my friendly neurologist and thus, here I am.

You know, so often I have posts pop up in my head. Honest to God! No lie! I really do! I hear, see, say, feel, smell and taste even, a post or a good meaty post subject and then unceremoniously let it wither away due to lack of time or energy reserves.

Amazing really, I've had this blog for um..er...*counting on fingers*...almost 5 years now...and you'd think that after such a decent sabbatical (and let's be honest, I've been totally crap at being regular this year [although thanks to high fibre, I'm very regular in other areas of my life]), you'd think I'd have got out of the habit of even thinking blog-wise wouldn't you?

But no, those subjects and anecdotes still pop into my head...I feel the need to write stuff, stuff in my head that needs an outlet purely because I miss writing on this page...my page...and regardless of anyone reading it or not I really wanna do it, alright? (Must stop arguing with self...others may think am nutso...oh, too late?  Ah well, that's cool, always wanted to be seen as nutter - feels very liberating).  Cos you see, for the longest time I've been a lazy arse prat about blogging.

Let's see if I'm able to strong-arm myself into changing that somewhat.
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