Friday, January 07, 2005

15's gone

Well, 15 is gone. We took him to the airport last night, 13 and I and stood and waited until the last possible minute before he got on the plane. There was only us and one other die-hard parent left, the two of us struggling to let go. He was looking smiley and relaxed and that's how it should be. I know he's going to miss us. He continued to wander over to the glass where we were to wave and smile. I kissed my hand and placed it on the glass and he did the same on the other side.

Getting to the airport was an ordeal. Was plain sailing until we reached the Terrace Tunnel. Then nothing...sitting in traffic not moving at all. I was ready to get out of the car and yell "Hey! what the hell's going on here?". I was doing ok at that stage, had got used to the fact I was going to have to let him go.....but anymore of this waiting was going to undo me. There was an accident in the tunnel and the police had arrived and were starting to clear it.

And guess what? I didn't cry. Was close, but not "heinous" so I know he'll appreciate that. His father however was about to get a smack in the nose, because all he seem to do was continue encouraging me to cry. He didn't shake 15's hand and say have a good time, he didn't hug him goodbye, in fact he actually left without even saying "see ya" to me or 13. How bloody rude is that?? And me telling 13 "no, I'm sure Dad's still here somewhere, he wouldn't have gone without saying goodbye to us". Maybe he needed to rush off to the safety of his car, so he could fall to pieces?

15 was ready. He was calm and confident and I know he's ready for this. This is going to be an amazing experience for him, one he's worked towards for the past 18 months. He received an award of Academic Excellence in Japanese at prize giving last year, so I know he's got the nouse to cope with anything Japanesey wise.

One of my good friends was saying that when her son left for a week, she preserved his "bum dent" in the sofa the whole time he was gone. I thought about that good and long and now his pillow sleeps alongside mine....just for now, until he comes home and claims it back. It may have become my 'blanky' by then, so I figure he's in for a fight.

13 and I got home and had dinner, face to face at the table. We actually had a conversation about my dilemma of late. He was shocked that I had chosen Canada over England. And get this...he said that what I should've done is not mentioned the other to either of them and just slowly distanced myself from the one I'd decided against. I told him "I can't do that, I would have been lying to both of them. I can only have one, it's not fair on either of them". He replies "well yeah, but at least it wouldn't have caused all this anguish would it?" *sigh* when did he become so grown up and devious of thought?

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