Sunday, January 16, 2005

The Future - Beans on Toast

Things settled down in our chat, he knew how difficult telling had been. It's a strong man that can listen to his loved one go into such graphic detail about her affair with another and still be calm. I know it was painful for him but he obviously had to find out, and hopefully now that he knows, it'll help us move on.

****

I told him I had something else I wanted to discuss with him, and I asked that we shut down that particular chat screen and open a new one for our new subject. So, I bring up the fact that I've been thinking about coming over there. That I want to stay with him, and I want to put some plans in place, set a financial goal for myself, find out how much I need and work my way up from there (thank you Bella, for the inspiration).

He was delighted. He started talking about what we could do, where we could go, what he wanted to show me. He suggested that we spend a week in London (I'm assuming that's after he picks me up from the airport). Said he'd pay for it, no sweat...stay in a swanky hotel in the middle of the city. The thought of all this lifted the mood of our chat. His enthusiastic response, despite what I'd just told him, made me feel humbled...even after all these years, he continues to surprise me with his strength to keep going regardless of adversity. Do I deserve such a good, decent and forgiving man?

I feel giddy with excitement, overwhelmed with relief that he still wants me with him. It feels good to have a goal, a direction...now, I just have to make sure I can make it happen. I'm determined to get there. We discussed the end of this year, or early next. I have a wedding to attend in February 2006, and it's one I can't possibly miss out on, the parents of my favourite 8 month old are getting married then, I've been asked to do a reading at their wedding. Besides, I don't want to miss out on sharing two such very special people in my life coming together in matrimony.

So, I need to take that into account too, I'll have to get it organised that when I get back into the country I still have enough funds to get me and the boys up north for their wedding.

So much to think about, so much to organise and so much money to be made! God help me, is it possible? Well, I'm going to have to make it so aren't I? I'll take on more shifts at the surgery whenever possible...get the boy's father to contribute financially to their schooling (haha, so I'm dreaming with that bit), cut back at home. We'll be eating beans on toast for dinner every night!

It's going to happen.
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