Tuesday, January 04, 2005

No More Whinging

This morning when I woke up, I decided to try to shut out the past difficulties and get on with life! I would say I bounced out of bed with refreshed energy and the excitement of a new day but that would be lying. I kinda turned the covers back, rolled out, dreamily wiped the sleep from my eyes, yawned, farted and stumbled to the loo.

My oldest (15) is going to Japan on Thursday for 4 weeks. As fed up as I get with his know-everything attitude and the look of disdain on his face when I do or say things he doesn't approve of (kinda like having my Dad living with me sometimes)...I'm going to miss him like hell. He's my rock, my sounding board, my buddy.

I've been given strict instructions I'm not allowed to cry at the airport. Last time we said goodbye at the airport, I was "heinous" apparently. Ok, yes, I must agree, I did fall to pieces saying goodbye to my kids when I left the country, but heinous? I looked that up in the dictionary..."heinous - utterly odious or wicked"....then I had to look up "odious - hateful, repulsive". Was I really THAT bad?? New motto for me...best not to look words up in the dictionary.

My youngest son (13) and have a completely different relationship. He pretty much sees me and runs...what's with that? I hardly ever know what's going on in his life...he keeps it all closed up tight. He's been known to say (after a fairly innocent "how was your day hun?" from me)..."Mum, would you please not get involved in my life" Should I be worried?

How are 13 and I going to cope while 15's gone? He becomes the link between us...passing information to and fro...the informant of all matters that are important, and not so important. I'm hoping that this will be a good time for me and 13. He's going to HAVE to talk to me isn't he? There'll be noone else in the house to converse with. I will make the effort to drag him out of his room, so we can sit at the dinner table in utter silence and look bored at each other probably.

Once we begin the journey of parenthood, we are never the same again. And some days, I feel that the fact my two boys are still alive is all credit to my tolerance level. Afterall, I haven't killed them yet. Parents of other teenagers, I'm sure, know where I'm coming from. When did they suddenly turn into gremlins with huge attitudes? Where was I when that was happening?? Did I have my eyes closed? In some cases, it felt like they'd changed markedly overnight....other cases have been a long windy road to discovery.
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