Tuesday, January 11, 2005

YOU'RE Confused?

Sunday afternoon, before the evening of all the hoorah with England, I got a call from a close friend of mine. Her relationship of almost 3 years had finally come to an end, and strong woman that she is, she was falling to pieces. Her ex boyfriend, had told her, right from the start, that he wanted children, but he also knew, right from the start that due to untold woman's problems, she'd had to have the surgery necessary to stop producing said offspring (in fact he visited her in hospital and supported her during this difficult body adjustment).

So why did they continue to cling to each other for the next almost 3 years? My girlfriend did everything she thought he wanted, she lost weight, she lightened her hair (apparently he's partial to blondes) and whatever else she thought he wanted, and he lapped it all up. Is she a foolish woman for continuing with him for such a length of time? I mean, afterall, he did tell her didn't he? He also told her that he loved her, that he felt she was his soulmate and that he loved having her in his life *confused expression*

So after the initial panic of wondering if I was going to have enough time to get prepared for my English expedition, I came to the conclusion that her emotional needs were far more important than my sexual ones. I turned up at her house that afternoon, weighted down with chocolate, chippies (crisps) and my now addictive V (not to mention guilt, because I knew I was going to witness Canada in the female form) and held her why she cried, ranted and reminisced over me. I wanted to knock the man fair in the jaw for hurting my friend so badly.

The irony of all this, is that I was sitting before an almost identical replica of what Canada must be going through. Seeing her in such an emotional state, the highs and lows of it, the anger and frustration and the utter confusion at it coming to this. That must be what Canada felt, may still be feeling. He did nothing wrong, in fact he did everything right.

I guess that sometimes, no matter how much we want them, or how badly we try changing to accommodate them, we are just not going to get what we want. Another of my friends has changed her name on msn to "don't make someone a priority in your life, if you're only an option to them". How many of us take what we're handed on a platter because nothing better has come along thus far? I sure as hell wouldn't want to be treated as second fiddle, so why do some of us treat others that way? Possibly because we're not aware we're doing it at the time? Possibly because the feeling of love is so incredibly amazing and we just have to feel it. Which of course stands to reason why so many of us go through the heartbreak of it and then jump back on the wagon (or fall off it). Or maybe we're just being selfish? Something else worth pondering I would think.
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