Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Advice for a Friend Please

This young lady is a very special reader of mine. In fact she is the one and only blogger who ever used to comment on my blog months ago when I first started writing.

During the ups and downs of my rollercoaster ride of personal international espionage (not really, but felt like it at the time lol), Bella was there to offer me a shoulder...she's given me her thoughts on what I was going through...and through it all, I felt incredibly grateful that she was listening to me and understanding my situation. Noone would ever know this now, because when I was fussing around installing Haloscan, all the Blogger commenting disappeared and I can't be arsed figuring out how to get them back (although I did try messing around with it for a while, because my situation did change for the better, I chose to leave it be and put that chapter to rest).

Here's her story in a nutshell (as I see it): Bella situation is very similar to mine. Her man lives in another country. The US to be exact. Just recently (February) she went to visit Nick and meet him for the first time. Besides a couple of hiccups (expected and unexpected ones), everything went extremely well, and now they are both saving up madly to be together. Nick is winging his way to Australia sometime near the end of this year, and he will spending 6-9 months living with her. This is a great idea...this will give them time to see how each other lives in the 'real' world. Mainly Bella's real world of course, because during that time, she will continue working....Nick won't be able to work, in fact he will have to leave Australia after 3 months briefly (possibly a quick trip to NZ), so that he can enter Aus again and spend another 3 months there...then doing the same thing again. Once they are completely comfortable with 'living' together, they plan to get engaged and he will go home to the US, tidy up some loose ends, and enter Australia on a fiancee visa...this will allow him to become employed. (This is a very brief outline of course...just trying to give you some background on her situation.)

Today Bella is feeling upset and angry. One of her long standing friends is questioning the viability of this. Bella's friend is asking what Nick is going to do during 8-5 while she's working, or any other time Bella has a commitment out of the house. Bella is being made to explain herself yet again (as if having an boyfriend overseas, that you met on the internet, doesn't get enough weird looks and questions asked.) Her friend is saying that she feels that Nick will eventually be very unhappy and relations could become strained between them, if he starts feeling like a 'kept' man for that length of time.

I feel the need to bring this up on my post today, because she's asking the blogging community to give her advice. So, if you could be so kind...please go and read her latest post....give her your honest opinion as to your thoughts on the matter....but be warned...although she is trying to do the 'counting first' thing before she reacts...she's not got it completely under control yet (something us fiery women are always going to have problems with I suspect lol)....but I know she will read and consider anything and everything you offer her.

Bella, I apologise for taking the liberty of going ahead and doing this without your consent. Feel free to smack me when you and Nick visit New Zealand sometime.
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