Thursday, April 21, 2005

Anyone wanna swap?

I've been so difficult to deal with lately. I mean...I've been irritable, and kinda argumentative. Not that I'm spoiling for a good fight, but everything seems to bug the shit out of me at the moment. And how many times can a girl use PMS as a reason for being a bitch? Last week while I was busy blubbering in the Principal's office at the school, I figured I must've been pre-menstrual. As shocked as I was by hearing the decision of a suspension for 14, I still feel I've more strength than to break down in front of the college staff.

Anyone who doesn't want to listen about 'period' talk can tune out now, cos I'm going to speak briefly about this. Are they gone?......Ok, on with the subject at hand.

It seems that for the past couple of years my body has been rebelling against it's estrogen content. My periods used to be extremely regular....every month turning up on exactly the right day. Now, well as I mentioned, for the past two years or so...sometimes they turn up...other times they don't bother arriving at all...these times can be 3-4 months apart (sometimes longer)....perhaps they've run off to roll in caramel syrup somewhere...my sweet tooth tends to roar back into life with a huge appetite at this time of the month.

Odd thing is, although they don't actually front up in the way they're supposed to...I still get the PMS symptoms. My back aches...my nay-nays hurt (thank you AmberLynn) to the point where I have to very carefully remove my bra at the end of the day...whipping it off in a hurry and just letting them fall out during this time, often makes me rather religious by exclaiming "Jeeesus, Christ Almighty!" through gritted teeth.... I'm bitchy, irritable and willing to rip the heart out of anyone that disagrees with me...my skin breaks out. The day before it's expected arrival, I'm ready to tear my hair out and climb the walls with lust (course, noone's gonna be willing to help in that department, if I'm looking at their chest, sizing up their heart cavity are they?)....and then...AND THEN...NOTHING!. I feel let down that there is zilch to show for all these body/mood changes. Seems unfair somehow.

Is it my age? I mean, I AM getting older afterall. I'll be 40 in June. is this an early onset of the M word? Or is it just the hormone rebel in me being pissed off at my moods and deciding not to 'turn up for dinner'. I'm sick to death of my fallopian tubes, ovaries and eggs playing tricks on me. Anyone wanna take them off my hands? I'm willing to give them up for a single-levelled 5 bedroom home with double garage (internal access of course)...large rumpus room and full view of the harbour.

Or maybe....just maybe... all I need is a really good "blah blah" session to smooth the ruffled feathers and relax my sorry arse. *sigh*
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