Sunday, May 22, 2005

Poo Poo Pee Do

Seeing as some of the bloggers I've been reading appear to have a fascination with body expulsion recently, I have chosen to post this list today in tribute of the everyday activity of our butts (and if it's not an every day occurrence, it's time you added more fibre to your diet). You may have already seen this, it's been around for years, but if not then I hope you have a good laugh. I'm sure you can relate to any or all of these at some stage in your lives. (The thought of that alone is making me feel a bit queasy actually.) May I suggest you don't read it whilst eating your brekky? Right, nuff said...on with the show!

THE POOPIE

Ghost Poopie: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

Clean Poopie: The kind when you poopie it out, see it in the toilet but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Poopie: The kind where you wipe your bottom 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you put some toilet paper between your bottom and your underpants so you don’t ruin them with a stain.

Second-Wave Poopie: This happens when you’re done poopie-ing and you’ve pulled up your pants to your knees and you realise that you have to poop some more.

Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Head Poopie: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

Lincoln Log Poopie: This kind of poopie is so huge, you are afraid to flush the toilet without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

Sassy Poopie: It’s so noisy that everyone within earshot is giggling.

Drinker Poopie: The kind of poopie you have in the morning after a good night of drinking. It’s most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

Corn Poopie: Self explanatory.

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could Poopie: The kind where you want to poopie and all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Poopie: That’s when it hurts so badly coming out that you’d swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Poopie: (The Power Dump) The kind that comes out of your bottom so fast that your bottom gets splashed.

Liquid Poopie: The kind where yellow brown liquid shoots out of your bottom and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

Mexican Poopie: It smells so bad that your nose burns.

Surprise Poopie: You’re not even on the toilet because you think you are about to fart but oops... a poopie.

The Dangling Poopie: This poopie refuses to drop into the toilet although you have finished poopie-ing it out. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
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