Friday, August 19, 2005

Hello...My Name is Lisa.

Anyone who took my quiz yesterday, should now be aware of my real name. Lisa. Well it's actually Melissa, but noone ever calls me that, so it seemed pointless putting that as the correct option for number 10. When I was a teenager, I kept a diary. When I first began writing my diary, I found it easier to write 'to' somebody. So each of my entries starts off like a letter.."Dear Sara"...hence my blog name. Taking into consideration that I 'outted' my kids names, I felt it was time to give up mine. I will change my profile, which should mean it will be showing up on your comments shortly. Anyone that doesn't like my real name or feels odd using it after all these months, may still call me Sara (how generous is THAT of me eh? Damn, I'm good to you lot). Anyone who's ever emailed me and received a response, will also know Lisa is my real name because I'm too dumb to figure out how to change it in my Outlook Express options. Anonymity be damned!

A couple of other bits about the quiz. It might comfort Walker to know that Cameron got the London/Paris question wrong. It might also comfort Walker that Cameron felt the need to debate this issue with me rather vehemently this morning after he'd taken the quiz. I was surprised at Todd's score...he's always given me the impression he's the "all seeing eye" of whatever's happening in Kurt's life, thus I expect him to know more about me. I am however, not the least bit surprised at Kurt's score. I'm thinking he should be disqualified, because although, for some reason I'm not getting emailed your quiz answers...thus I have no idea what you got right or wrong....I have great suspicions that once Todd had taken the quiz....Kurt had intimidated him into submission, to the point where Todd 'fessed up the correct answers. It leaves me wondering what Jeff Bridges would think of these tactics.

Ryan was a completely different kettle of fish. He took the quiz...saw his score in comparison to others and stomped off saying "You never tell me ANYTHING anymore!". I did try to soothe him by bringing up RainyPete's score but his response was "So? He doesn't LIVE with you does he??". Cameron being Cameron, has to get involved.

Cameron: "It's your own fault, you're never out here to find out what's going on in her life anyway"
Ryan: *glaring at Cam* "Who asked YOU??!"
Cam: "My, aren't you a little ray of sunshine today?"
Ryan: "Oh shut up!"
Cam: "Fuck off!"

I hurry back to the kitchen

Me: "What the hell is going on here?!"
Ryan: "Cameron is making me feel stink"
Cam: *pointing at Ryan* "That's because YOU'RE a piece of SHIT!"
Ryan: "That's IT! I'm not going to school!"

Cameron snatches his lunch money off the kitchen table and storms out of the house....Ryan stomps passed me to his bedroom and slams the door...I rip my Mummy badge off my dressing grown and throw it at the floor, resisting the urge to jump up and down on it.

I tried to talk to Ryan, to no avail, he's not interested...it's "None of your business!" and "I HATE Cameron!" blah blah blah. By this stage my voice is getting louder and angrier and I'm ready to get his father on the scene. But what good would it do to have two angry parents yelling at him? I can hardly drag him out of bed can I? - physically, he's just too big for me to do that. I also don't want to force him to school in the mood he's currently in. Considering he's already teetering on the brink of expulsion, God only knows what kind of outburst during class it could cause if I actually got him there.

I've rung the school and left a message to inform them of his absence and why, and asked them to get the counsellor to ring me. Ryan is grounded and I've removed any and every possible privilege I can think of from him. Short of beating him senseless with a piece of wood, it's the only punishment I could come up with.

Cameron has an incredible gift at winding up his younger brother. With this morning's shouting match, I would hazard a guess that Ryan is getting the same talent towards his older brother. For Cameron to swear to that extent is major stuff. He may swear around his mates at school, but within earshot of me? Never. Completely out of character for him. Something's up. I will attempt to talk to him after school to make sure nothing else is bothering him. As the school year gets closer to ending and his NCEA exams loom, I suspect that he's feeling the pressure of achieving enough credits. Or he's just being a shithead.

Years ago, someone told me..."When your children are pushing you away, or being more difficult than usual to deal with - that's the time they need you most". I've taken this on board several times over the years, never forgotten it, yet I am at a loss as to how to react half the time. Why should I feel like spending time with them, when they're being little bastards and their attitudes are the last thing I'm going to warm too?? Oh...yeah...because I'm the adult. Shit.

The good thing about my day so far? I don't actually have a headache.
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