Saturday, August 06, 2005

Oh dear, is that really MY body?

Firstly, I'd like to say a heartfelt thank you to my commenters on yesterday's post and the emails I received. I was touched and comforted by your words, and very humbled. I am surrounded by so many giving and supportive friends here. Thank you all so very much for your kindness.

***

Anyone that thinks they're carrying around too much weight, check out this photo.

It served to make me feel rather good about the extra blubber I've got hanging off my body. I'm also hoping it's a photoshop hoax of some sort and that isn't really the body of someone out there in our world. The struggles about weight loss and weight gain are phenomonal from one side of our planet to the other. First and foremost, we should be concentrating on keeping ourselves healthy, and feeling good about the vessel that's carting our souls around...whatever shape or form that may be.

A few years ago I used to go to the gym 4-5 times a week. During my exercise crazed days I wasn't working, so had the time to spend pumping weights and running around the aerobics arena. I was overtaken with the joy of sweat dripping into my eyes and the aching scream of my muscles. The exhaustion that swamped me when I'd stumble through the exit doors after my routine was a satisfying one.

During those years I would look at others working out around me. So many differences, big...small...huge...tiny...short...tall...every possible weight and shape you can imagine. They're all there, for whatever reasons of their own...to drop kilos or beef up muscle etc. It occurred to me that, physically, we are all made up of such different shapes and sizes. Furthermore, we are attracted to different shapes and sizes.

I will confess I used to be attracted to men on the taller side of the scale. God only knows why, being that I'm 5' 5"....trying to kiss someone over 6' 2" can be quite the challenge. I also prefer him to be broad and solid...although in my experience *cough*...it's come to my attention that I really cannot break someone who's on the slighter side. Being overweight and remarkably heavy boned (which is why I weigh so much on the scales - ha! I wish)...I was always under the impression I may injure a slightly built lover.

Imagine my excitement at discovering that it's not possible to actually break a man! Sure, I could put his back out or wrench a muscle or two, but to physically break him so he is no longer capable of loving me on another day? Nah. In fact, one of my past lovers was about 5' 2", weighing in around 60kg. Gotta hand it to the little guys. Their determination to get it on with us larger body weights and get the job done, is to be commended. And as far as the really tall blokes are concerned...we're all the same height lying down right?

Male or female...we are who we are and our bodies are as they are. We should take care of them. (Relax, I'm not going to start preaching "my body is my temple".) My preferred body type of the male category still is on the taller side and I still prefer him to be solid and broad but that's just my taste. I like to have something to grab hold of...someone that's not going to be knocked over the moment I throw myself at him (let's face it, I'm a whole lotta woman to have coming at ya). Imagine if you will:

Me: *running across room* "Geronimoooooo!"
Him: *looking up* "eh? what? uh.."
*CRASH!*
Me: "Oh baby! are you ok? I'm SO sorry!"
Him: "It's ok, I'm ok, but could you get the fuck off me now?!"

See? Now how sexy is that on the big screen?

My body is going to continue to change even more in size and shape over the coming years...that could be for the better....or it could be for the "OMFG!" worse...but the bottom line is...it's my body...and it's the only one I have. I've been haunted with the genes of the big arse/thighs club....I'm drowned by the destardly polynesian early-grey-haired princess club...I have wide island feet (which would be perfect if I was to be walking across coral reefs on a daily basis)...and I have stretch marks like the railroad tracks at Central Station, running down my stomach.

So...my future plight at this stage is....I shall continue to downplay the size of my arse and thighs by never wearing a string bikini...and I will continue to whinge at Cameron, so he will feel pity for his mother and dye her grey roots. There's not alot I can do about the shape of my feet, but pedicures sure do make them look purdy.

As for the stretchmarks down my stomach? I will continue to wear them with dignity...like a badge of honour...and woe be tied anyone who points at them with distaste. They are the physical tattoos of motherhood for me....a time I rejoiced in my babies growing within...noone will take that pride away from me.

Love it or hate it...your body is here to stay...without it you aint goin' nowhere fast. Make peace with it, nuture it, and try to ensure it stays around for as long as possible. Besides, I'd miss you if you weren't here.
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