Monday, October 24, 2005

Leaving, On A Jetplane...

I've just been out. Picked up another book that Walker and I are about to start reading to each other (Going Postal - Terry Pratchett). I was sitting at the mall, eating lunch with Cameron (Ryan chose to stay at home) and then it struck me.

The date today....24th of October.

Today is the anniversary of the day I left Canada. A year ago today is the last time I saw Walker in person....the last time we made love (in person lol)...the last time he held me tight and made my knees go weak when he kissed me.

I have a vivid picture of him leaning against one of the stands in the security area at the airport watching me go through the ritual of pulling my laptop out of it's case, emptying the contents of my carry-on backpack etc. He stayed with me...my head against his chest, his arms wrapped around me as we slowly shuffled along the lengthy queue....until he couldn't go any further, and I couldn't turn on my heel and go back.

I blew him a kiss and waved. I smiled, then turned and walked away...I didn't want the last memory he had of me to be one where my face is all contorted and I'm crying like a baby (if nothing else, I've a nasty vain streak in me at times...who likes that ugly crying face thing? it's hardly attractive right?)

Maybe one day I'll blog about it....maybe not...maybe I just did.

This afternoon, as I think back on that day and the roller coaster of emotions we both experienced...well...it kinda sucks.

It's not an anniversary I'm going to be celebrating anyway.
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