Monday, November 07, 2005

Could The Real Psycho Please Step Forward...

...sooner, rather than later.

Listening to the radio on the way to work this morning, they were discussing times of 'psycho-ness'. You know...times when people have done something really WAY out there...that would make people say "Shit....you're a psycho!" kinda thing.

Seeing as it only takes about 15 minutes for me to get to work, I didn't get to hear too much of it....but...it made me think. It had me thinking about some of the people I've come across in the past. The ones that are so friendly, maybe too friendly...you get on with them well....yet as you get to know them more...scratching away at the surface of their personalities...you can find yourself sitting inches away from a clinging fruit-loop and wondering how to extract yourself from said cereal.

We've a new receptionist at work. She's doing quite well. It appears that you only have to tell her something once and she's pretty much onto it and you don't have to repeat yourself over and over. I like that. After dealing with the young man I ranted about a few months ago, it's certainly a welcome change.

I could have a slight problem though. I think she's latched onto me. I mean, l work with her a couple of shifts a week...last Friday night being one of them. Last week after closing up the surgery, we sat out in my car for about 15 minutes chatting. She said to me "Hey, would you mind if I came over to your place for a coffee?..then we can continue our chat". I agreed, although I actually didn't really want her to come over, I was knackered, my house was a mess...but it was only for a coffee, so I could cope for that long.

She stayed for 4 and a half hours....not 1, not 2 not 3, but 4 AND A HALF!

She talked alot about her past jobs and her life as she was growing up....some of what I heard made me a little uncomfortable, but she was really going for it...purging it all. She made herself two more coffees (after I made the initial one), smoked 8 cigarettes (yeah, I counted stubs in the ashtray later). At around 8.30pm I asked her if she was hungry..."No thanks, I'm fine". By 11.30pm, my stomach was growling and I was lying horizontal on the sofa yawning, as she made mention yet again of leaving.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, she eventually left. I think perhaps she's lonely and keen on making new friends, and I'm happy for her to find one in me...but....it was all a bit too much, too soon for me. I've only known her 3 weeks. Saturday confirmed my suspicions....I received 19 emails....all fuzzy, warm friendship ones....the up-side of that, is that they were all forwarded, so someone had obviously sent them to her first....which means, she does actually have other friends...which means, I'm not going to turn into her new best friend. (For the record, I actually don't like those kind of emails...in fact they annoy the shit out of me and my limited monthly gig traffic.)

An hour after I'd deleted the emails, I got a text message....I responded (if there's nothing I hate more, it's being ignored, so I try my best never to ignore anyone)...so, I responded. Then I got a phone call from her...and an invitation to join her to watch the fireworks display on the beach. A lovely thought, but not for me. I was staying put to spend some time with Walker (who incidentally, I fell asleep on while he was reading to me, heh).

Anyways....to get back to the initial subject of this post....there are some things we can do, that we later look back on and think "I can't believe I did that!". I've heard stories of women scorned via their partners or ex-partners. Women who have poured acid over their ex's BMW's. One woman who had recently split from her man, still had the key to his house. While he was away on business for a couple of weeks, she went in one day and sprinkled grass seed all over an expensive persian rug he cherished. Each day, she'd go back and sprinkle water on it...and by the time he got back, it was healthy thick grass ready to be mowed.

Then of course, there's the famous email about the lady that went through the house and sewed raw shrimp into the hems of all the curtains. After various searching and use of cleaning products and carpet cleaning services etc, the stench became so much for her ex and his new lady, that they eventually moved house...taking the curtains with them.

So, my question to you today is...have you ever done anything in the past that can make you say...."Yeah, I was THAT psycho!" ? And if so...what was it or, god forbid, they?
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