Friday, December 16, 2005

I'm a Barbie Girl...In A Barbie World

I don't seem to be getting anywhere fast these days. The faster I try to move forward the more I appear to be running on the spot. I'm none too impressed with that I can tell you...I SO hate exercise of any kind.

As some of you are aware I've recently purchased a BBQ. "Betty" (thank you Fred) made her debut appearance last Saturday. One of my tenants was celebrating her birthday (she is so very pregnant at the moment), and Dad-to-be asked if I minded them having a BBQ that weekend. I told him once I got my one put together, they were more than welcome to use it (his father was going to drag his here for the event).

Saturday comes around and there was a group of people downstairs sitting around outside while Alan used my grill. In the meantime I was standing up here on the balconey watching what he was doing and how he was doing it. Kinda sneaky, but necessary under the circumstances.

I've never cooked on a BBQ before. Did you know that? Never had to do it, never tried it. I kept thinking, how hard can it be? I have gas hobs in my kitchen...it's gotta be the same principle.

Let's just say I was unprepared for the heat and the sudden flames shooting through the grid. This reminded me of when I was a child. Watching my Dad light our old coal BBQ. Being the impatient beast that he can be, he would splash tsunami proportions of sprinkle methylated spirits on the coals to get it all to happen that much faster.

*WOOOOOOOOOF!*

After one such spectacular incident, he went at least two weeks minus eyebrows...the flames reaching higher than our two storey house, removing eyelashes and any pilling from his clothing. I'm thinking maybe I should be using a welder's helmet while I'm cooking on it. But being a vain bitch I've decided to forget that idea....I refuse to deal with hat hair on top of everything else right now.

Here's a pic of Cameron playing cook (I always knew the sun shone out of him, now there's photographic evidence). I know it's from far away, but if he knew I was taking it, there's sure to have been a shoot out at the O.K. Corral.



And you're right, that IS a lamp post in the middle of my yard. Just ignore it, it's the least of my worries when it comes to my property lol.

I've used Betty three times this week. I figure the more I use her, the better I get, and the sooner I learn how she reacts in certain situtations and what food should be put where and when etc. The upside of this is I can cook and nothing in my kitchen gets filthed up. The downside is I have to traipse up and down the stairs to get to it. Can you hear the Benny Hill music as I'm going up and down the stairs from the kitchen to the BBQ?

Last night I was experiencing some horrendous stomach cramps. I lost count of the times I staggered back and forth to the toilet (there's that Benny Hill music again). Neither of the boys were having problems, so it appears I only gave myself food poisoning. This morning I still have a few slight cramps but nothing near the magnitude of last night....high temperatures, waves of cold sweat springing out of my pores...my teens running around playing nursie (more Benny Hill?), bringing me iced water and a bucket etc....they're such good wee laddies.

Not being one to give up....I'm going to use it again tonight. Practise makes perfect an' all that blah blah. A good friend of mine is coming over for the evening, and thanks to Walker's suggestion, I'm going to make hamburgers for dinner. I won't tell her about my tummy upset yesterday....it'll be our little secret.

Besides, she'll find out personally tomorrow morning lol.
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