Saturday, December 10, 2005

Wait, Oh Yeah, Wait a Minute Mr Postman

Currently, my mailbox is overflowing with commercial flyers for anything and everything from nose-hair trimmers and foot-spas to 52" plasma screens and BMW convertibles. How much money do these companies think I've got? If they really knew, I'd only be getting flyers for empty shoe boxes and toothpicks.

I went into the post office yesterday. I placed my packages on the counter and waited while the lady behind the counter weighed the first one.

PO: Would you like to send this express or economy?
Me: "Could you please give me the differences in cost?"
PO: "For this one - $48 express, $41 economy"
Me: *colour draining from face* "Uh.."
PO: "Lady, are you ok?"

*thud*

PO: *gasp* "SOMEONE CALL THE PARAMEDICS!!!"

Nah, just foolin' with ya...was only my hair that hit the floor. Yep, I'm bald now...saves me having to pay to dye my roots again...cool. I am SO getting to grips with this empty-pocket-syndrome thingy.

But...for the price of overseas postage, that mailman better turn up on that doorstep, do an elaborate tapdance in gold-plated shoes and hand that box over with a dramatic flourish.

Then I'm told I have to put a declaration sticker on the outside of each one. I ask you...what's the fun in that?? These were gifts....now I gotta write on the outside what's in there?? I look at her..."Can I just write "stuff" on them?".

She said I could but if Customs don't know what's in there, they'll open it.

So, I stand there, with a long line of harrassed looking customers behind me. I was desperately trying to think of 'pretend' declaration fodder. Stuff that would sound legit but wouldn't ruin any surprise. With that many people waiting behind me, I caved under the pressure.

At this point in time I really wished I'd written "my panties" on the one for the only male recipient. Damn I wish I'd thought of that at the time....make him choke on his coffee for sure. Hahaha, just kidding, there'll be no choking on account of me.

Anyway, after some heart palpitations, sweat beading on my forehead, and writing in a hurry amid the impatient grunts of those behind me....they're finally on there way. Just a little something from the people here in the Internet Lovers household. Actually thinking back now, there's probably a couple of things that may need explaining. I just expected you to know why I sent you what I did...by the time you get them, I may have even forgotten myself lol.

I'm not sure they'll get there before Xmas...apparently last Monday was the final day for posting overseas in time for Xmas, but stranger things have happened, and besides the cost, New Zealand Post has a fairly good reputation. Doesn't matter if they don't make it in time, long as they make it I reckon.

So....if you don't receive a parcel from me in the next 6 months, there's a strong possibility I didn't send you one lol. If your initials are....FF, JL, KP, KF or SS...and you don't receive anything from New Zealand in the next few weeks, email me. I'll launch a campaign against the post office....right after I've closed the door on the one I'm launching against the Pill-Pushing Poophead people.

Pressies, postage, pills and parliament....no wonder I feel like I'm stuttering of late.

*****

Update: I meant to add this earlier and forgot in the my rush to get out the door, so now you have to put up with an update. lol

Anyway, what I was going to bring to your attention was....my guest map. I know plenty of you have pinned it but there is a whole lotta countries that don't appear to have any blog population at all (shock! horror!).

SO, in keeping with the postal theme (you know, parcels travelling across the world kinda thing)....even if you're already on my map...how about pinning it again with somewhere you'd like to travel to? Or perhaps just pinning it in a country that's looking a bit empty? And if you haven't pinned it at all yet...I would love it if you did so now!
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