Monday, March 20, 2006

Much Ado About Nothing

I went out Saturday night. The annual softball prizegiving evening was held last night, and although I haven't played for two seasons now, I still attend the end of season knees-up. It's always a great night, spent amongst great people and I love to dance. Been a while since I really loosened up enough to bust some moves on the dance floor....that's not to say I'm any good at it...just that I was relaxed enough to do it. Read my lips...."bourbon and coke".

Being a single woman in my 40's, there are a few things that come to the fore under these circumstances (actually the fact that I'm 40 doesn't have a lot to do with that, I noticed it the moment I shed my husband at the age of 33). The first one is that I'm single. The second is there are married women around watching the single women...and their proximity to said married women's spouses.

Why is that? Do they think we're going to run off with their husbands if they don't watch closely enough? Surely we should be able to dance with whoever we like without causing some kind of under-rumblings. I never felt the need to watch my ex-husband so closely....we would often dance with other people, and come back together off and on over the course of the evening. Isn't that what's socialising is about? Or did I miss something?

What stumped me the most about this was, these are women that I've known for years through the club....ladies that I've got on well with and socialised with. Just because I become single, does that mean I get dropped into a different cateogry other than 'friend'? Does a neon light flash on above our heads..."Predator"? I never would've dreamed to worry about that with my ex, he was loyal to the nth degree when it came to his wife and children.

When we seperated over 7 years ago now, we made an agreement....that if either of us were ready to move on, we would keep it out of the know, out of respect for the other half, didn't want to hurt their feelings, have any awkward moments etc. He eventually hooked up with another lady from the club he breached our 'contract'...but that's ok, because I know she's made his life miserable for several years that should teach him a lesson good and proper eh? lol

Attending one of these functions means three things to me these days. I either have to dance with many married men, no discrimination or favouritism allowed...I can stick to dancing with my single or married girlfriends....or I end up dancing with my ex-husband. There's a certain amount of 'power' to being the ex-wife...and I will admit that on a couple of occasions I've wielded that sword to prove a point, but for the most part I behave myself and I'm a damn good ex.

To be honest, I'd really rather not have to think much about it....why can't I just go out dancing without the possibility of rumours being fuelled? And ok, some of the men really do deserve to have their wives hold on to them by short leashes. What is it about divorcees that they think are 'easy meat'? Is it because they think she's not getting regular sex that they could be 'in' for the night? That she's going to leap at the chance of having sex...any matter who they are? Does the label "divorce" mean we're now devoid of any standards or principals?

Maybe I've thought about it too much, and am being sensitive to the fact that I am single? Maybe I'm over reacting about it, and none of it's actually know, like the proverbial figment of my imagination?

On the dance floor Saturday I was either with Alice, my ex-husband, Anna's husband - Jason or my ex-softball team mates. Regardless of who I was with, I had a great time dancing. I'd forgotten how much I missed it. Yesterday as I walked down the stairs at home, I realised not only is my body not up to taking in so much alcohol, but my knees are not up to coping with that kinda dancing anymore.

On my top half I wore a fairly low cut red sequined top with spaghetti straps. I can only wear this top if someone (namely Cameron or Alice) safety pins the straps to my bra's the only way I can wear it without it falling half way down my chest. From my viewpoint (looking straight down), it looks like I've got my chest fully on show, but anyone looking directly at me can only see a very small amount of, if any, cleavage.

I got two direct compliments...both from married, one single. My single friend said "God, I looked at you tonight and I felt jealous...made me think "Why the hell did I cut my tits off" lol"

The second one came from the newly married Anna "You know, if I was a man, that...*pointing at my chest*... is exactly where I'd like to have my head cushioned tonight".

So,I don't know what all the fuss is's only the females that notice me anyway lol.
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