New Discoveries

Things I learned this weekend:

Male strippers need to be prepared when the Bride-to Be is already half hammered and unexpectedly 'flicks' his policeman's hat away to reveal him in all his glory to her screaming friends;

The Bride-to-Be's mother is more than prepared to stand up in front of her daughter's friends and demonstrate and explain the new sex toy she's just gifted her daughter;

I can't sit in the passenger seat of a car with a HUGE erect cock cake "trembling' on my lap without hoping like hell nobody sees me, on the way to the party;

I'm more flexible than some 20+ year old women and impressed my best mate in the bargain. Don't know how that happened, but was good to find out when I had to put my hand on the floor without bending my knees...and no, I can't do the splits lol;

A 16 year old girl CAN get into a nightclub but only if she switches all the wedding paraphenalia her sister's wearing on her Hen's Night, with what she's wearing (did that make sense? lol);

Women in their early 20's (and one 16 year old), are like duracell bunnies, dancing all night..all night...all night. While the 40+ year old women are leaning against the bar wondering when they're allowed to go home and stop being nannies to the early 20 year olds, who are hammered because the 40+ year olds spent the evening shoving vodka jellies, punch and strawberry dacqueries down their throats;

Men can 'leak' semen whether they're erect or not...What? like they're full of it and it overflows? This is the first time I've known of this, why do I not know this at my age?? I'm pathetic. Who knows about this? Give me the low down (haha). (I've met plenty of men who are full of it but not necessarily in the same respect lol.) ;

I'm a closet Anne Murray fan. Driving home from Anna's I switched on the radio to hear "Could I have this dance, for the rest of my life..."...talking aloud to myself I said "Aw, what crap, where's the decent music??"...and then proceeded to sing along to it all the way home;

We're going to be attending a luncheon wearing fleecy pink pjamas and bunny rabbits on springs on our heads. This is to play tea parties with a gorgeous two year old boy who also has pink pjs. It seems the only male I'll allow to see me in my nightwear these days, needs to be a minor;

Older males don't like the fluffy pink pjs. A friend of mine told me "You can't wear those! I'll refuse to get into bed with you". Problem is, it's cold here now, and these pjs are soooo warm and cosy, I aint gonna throw them out, I'll just hide them instead lol.

Yep, that's some of what I discovered this weekend. What about you?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

*gasp* Who IS that masked font?

This far down the track, it's sometimes hard for me to remember where Dan and I came from. Not in the "Who am I?" or "What is my purpose on this earth?" kinda way you understand...but of how we met and how much that totally spontaneous meeting unexpectedly affected both our lives and the lives of those around us. It's been over 3 years since Dan stumbled across this blog, and almost 3 years since we actually met in person for coffee. Next February it will have been 3 years since I told him I was in love with him. Don't panic...this is not going to be a post filled with sunlight and rainbows, extolling the brilliance of the above-mentioned man and all he means to me. Would I do that to you? I mean to say...this is the first time I've put font to screen in over 4 months, do you really think I'd come back and get all gushy/mushy on you? Nah...that'd make even me wanna gag. The fact of the matter is...that it HAS been such a long time sinc...
Read more

A Wandering Post

Hallo Everybardee! (that's my Sharon Osborne impersonation.) I'm listening to Lemar's "If There's Any Justice" while I'm sitting here wracking my brain as to what to write today. And this song coupled with the recent brain-hurty questions that are being flung at us via Lisa's blog have me wondering. How many people out there are sitting in unhappy partnerships/marriages out there? How many are bobbling along in their marriages, for fear of not wanting to be alone or for the sake of the children etc? I spent 15 years with my husband before I finally realised we just weren't the same people we used to be and no amount of compromise was going to get us through the rest of life together. I met him when I was 18...seperated from him at the age of 33...one a teenager, the other a much different woman and the mother of two boys. I don't regret this time of my life, not one iota...there's a lot of learning and growing to had in those 15 years. My ...
Read more

Sleep, Blog, Sleep, Blog, hmm

Working extra hours will of course take it's toll on my body...and to be honest, things are going fairly well in that respect...that was...until last night. Cos ya see, last night, I didn't go to bed at the usual time of around 1030ish. I sat here and read my entire blog history...and although that's not HUGE because I've only been blogging since the beginning of the year....that's still a fair amount of reading to get through. That, coupled with catching up on some of your blogs (didn't always comment on them, forgive me)...I ended up crawling into bed at 1.35am. 1.35AM!! I haven't stayed up that late since I first started playing backgammon on the MSN Zone (and then we're talking about 3 and 4am, I must've been nuts!). Now I know that 1.30 isn't an unusually late night for some of you...but for me? it's big these days...real big. So this morning (some of the only free time I have this week, I...am...knackered. Why do we do this to ...
Read more