Monday, April 10, 2006

New Discoveries

Things I learned this weekend:

Male strippers need to be prepared when the Bride-to Be is already half hammered and unexpectedly 'flicks' his policeman's hat away to reveal him in all his glory to her screaming friends;

The Bride-to-Be's mother is more than prepared to stand up in front of her daughter's friends and demonstrate and explain the new sex toy she's just gifted her daughter;

I can't sit in the passenger seat of a car with a HUGE erect cock cake "trembling' on my lap without hoping like hell nobody sees me, on the way to the party;

I'm more flexible than some 20+ year old women and impressed my best mate in the bargain. Don't know how that happened, but was good to find out when I had to put my hand on the floor without bending my knees...and no, I can't do the splits lol;

A 16 year old girl CAN get into a nightclub but only if she switches all the wedding paraphenalia her sister's wearing on her Hen's Night, with what she's wearing (did that make sense? lol);

Women in their early 20's (and one 16 year old), are like duracell bunnies, dancing all night..all night...all night. While the 40+ year old women are leaning against the bar wondering when they're allowed to go home and stop being nannies to the early 20 year olds, who are hammered because the 40+ year olds spent the evening shoving vodka jellies, punch and strawberry dacqueries down their throats;

Men can 'leak' semen whether they're erect or not...What? like they're full of it and it overflows? This is the first time I've known of this, why do I not know this at my age?? I'm pathetic. Who knows about this? Give me the low down (haha). (I've met plenty of men who are full of it but not necessarily in the same respect lol.) ;

I'm a closet Anne Murray fan. Driving home from Anna's I switched on the radio to hear "Could I have this dance, for the rest of my life..."...talking aloud to myself I said "Aw, what crap, where's the decent music??"...and then proceeded to sing along to it all the way home;

We're going to be attending a luncheon wearing fleecy pink pjamas and bunny rabbits on springs on our heads. This is to play tea parties with a gorgeous two year old boy who also has pink pjs. It seems the only male I'll allow to see me in my nightwear these days, needs to be a minor;

Older males don't like the fluffy pink pjs. A friend of mine told me "You can't wear those! I'll refuse to get into bed with you". Problem is, it's cold here now, and these pjs are soooo warm and cosy, I aint gonna throw them out, I'll just hide them instead lol.

Yep, that's some of what I discovered this weekend. What about you?

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