Monday, May 15, 2006

I'm Going Down

Now, about this too small jeans problem I have. I have finally found the motivation to do something about it.

I've decided I'm not going to contact the supplier and request a switch for the right size...I am actually going to make my body fit into the jeans they sent.

This is not going to involve a large glass ball, 50lbs of chains and several thousand litres of water (*snort* what a dork that guy is). No unfortunately there are no magic tricks to make this special use of mirrors etc...not even a shoe horn.

I'm going to lose weight. Simple as that.

How hard can it be? Bwahahahahaha! I just made a joke! Oh, never mind.

I thought about this last week when I received the jeans, I hummed and hawwed about it and then realised that it would give me the incentive to lose some of the extra blubber I've been carrying around for so long.

Short of having someone lock me in the dark for weeks on end and shoving rabbit food under the door, I didn't know whether I had the will power to carry it through...til now that is.

Ten words said to me over the weekend have given me the extra push. In amongst the hundreds of words he said, these 10 are the ones that had the most impact. In fact, they put the fear of God into me....the Obesity God that is.

"...I want to see you naked...soon...and I will..."

Eh? What? When?! Oh no!...*panic panic panic...scramble, bang, crash....hiffs chocolate wrappers out the window...kicks chippy bag under the desk...shoves fingers down throat (kidding!)*

Nah, I'm not body conscious hahahaha, I'm full of it tonight. Yeah got me, I am...I know I shouldn't be, but I am nonetheless because what I've been carrying around is unhealthy. Why I've chosen to do it at this time of year....when everyone is battening down for winter and cooking up all those thick creamy soups and hot stewy What a dork I am!

By the may not see so much of me around in the coming months....that's because I'll be going to bed at 6pm each's one of my new strategies. If I retire early for the evening...I'll be unaware there's a kitchen in my house. My next strategy involves a blindfold, my hands tied behind my back and Gene Pitney albums played very loudly over and over.

If all that fails, I'll have to bring out the no. 8 wire, a few hard-nosed ninjas and the space shuttle...or maybe just Martha Stewart. I really don't want to think about getting to that stage though *shudder*.

I'm sure I'll be fine. Besides, I'll be so busy choking on those 10 words nothing else will get down my throat.
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