Friday, June 30, 2006

Do You Really Want to Know?

Back down there passed the puking kid post is an entry about what I got for my birthday. One of the books I received that day is called "Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini".

Honestly, that's the FULL title.

Let's get down to the whys and wherefores about mens nipples...I know you've all...well, many of you...yes alright, three of you have been waiting. Unfortunately it's not as fun-loving as expected, but science being what it is, has been known for taking some of the fun out of life, as brilliant as it may be.

So?...Why DO men have nipples?

Quote: "We are mammals and blessed with body hair, three middle ear bones, and the ability to nourish our young with milk that females produce in modified sweat glands called mammary glands. Although females have the mammary glands, we all start out in a similar way in the embryo. During development, the embryo follows a female template until about six weeks, when the male sex chomosome kicks in for a male embryo. The embryo then begins to develop all of it's male characteristics. Men are thus left with nipples and also with some breast tissue. Men can even get breast cancer and there are some medical conditions that can cause male breasts to enlarge. Abnormal enlargement of the breasts in a male is known as gynecomastia. Gynecomastia can be caused by using anabolic steroids. So, if your favourite athlete suddenly develops man boobs and starts winning medals then you know the reason why." Unquote.

It makes sense...but I was disappointed in some ways. I was hoping perhaps it was so that men could experience that special bonding with their babies...or at the very least know what it's like to have a nipple bitten once Junior cuts his/her first tooth. Afterall, we know it's possible that if the man's nipples are stimulated enough and in the right way, he can indeed produce milk right?

It's very cool to have it stated in the bible that Adam was created before Eve. But then I also think it's very cool to discover that scientifically, on the mother nature front....the female 'form' is the beginning of all human creation. Even if it IS for only 6 weeks and in an embryonic state. YEAH!

This abovementioned book is full of a variety of questions. I'm going to lay out a few for you here and you can pick which, if any, you'd be interested in me posting the answers to...or better yet, have a go at answering them yourself:

1. What's up with the ear hair? [under the 'Getting Older' section]
2. Do oysters really make you horny?
3. Why do you get the munchies when you are stoned?
4. Is sperm nutritious? Or fattening?
5. Why is poo brown? [yes, it really IS in the book]

I personally, don't think I'd need 3 martinis to be asking about ear hair, but there ya go. Some of us occasionally do need the extra dutch courage to ask or say certain things. But I can say without a doubt, that as much as I love my doctor to pieces and feel comfortable with him, I still would not have the balls to ask him question number 4.

And considering I'm a female, it's just as well I don't have a pair...not in the physical sense anyway.
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