Friday, July 14, 2006

May I Borrow Your Pen?

Due to a high risk of any new readers that might stumble across my page, thinking I'm a Bitchy Ho 100% of the time, I need to put up something now that will shove my previous post down a bit.

No news on the car downstairs unfortunately. Besides the fact that they came onto my property and took something that didn't belong to them...the scarier part of this for me, is that they had possibly been watching the house for awhile. I could be wrong. But for them to steal his car between 3am and 5.30? They either followed him home that night, or had been watching my home and the routine of it's residents.

Even scarier, but possibly with a different result...what IF Cameron was actually starting work at 5am that day? It's not unheard of. We would've been down in the garage by 4.30am that morning and may have interrupted them. Doesn't bear thinking about.

Nuff of that...I don't have anything else to tell you...so I shall consult my latest oracle and post a question and answer for you to read instead. I shall randomly open a page and put up the first one I see.

*closes eyes and opens a page*

***

Q: If someone is choking at a dinner party, can you do a tracheotomy with an oyster knife?

A: Our friend Kim can do pretty much anything. She was like Martha Stewart before anyone had seen her bake her first cookie. Add to that a rugged edge that allows her to take on any project. She wanted to know the answer to this one, and we realised if anyone could do this, it would be her. She also wouldn't allow the procedure to interrupt her dinner party.

A cricothyroidotomy (similar to a tracheotomy) is one of the most dramatic procedures done in the emergency room. This procedure is an emergency attempt to relieve a blocked airway. Remember the M*A*S*H episode where Father Mulcahy sticks a pen into some guy's throat to help him breathe?

The oyster knife might work too, but definitely avoid trying this at home!

[Excerpt from the book titled "Why do Men Have Nipples?" Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg MD]

***

Years ago when Cameron had so much trouble with croup, I often took him off in the middle of the night to the after hours medical centre. I also often wondered what I'd do if he could no longer breathe through his mouth because his throat closed up. Like while I was stuck in traffic, or the car broke down on the way or the red lights never turned green or whatever scenario a paranoid parent can come up with.

I am almost embarrassed to admit, that as long as there was a BIC pen in the car somewhere, I felt relatively safe I could handle any possible dilemma...afterall, not only did they demonstrate it on M*A*S*H, they also did it on ER! So there.

How can two major hit series be wrong?
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