Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Subconciously Waiting for a 3rd Tit

Do people who see and think that you've been single for several years come to the conclusion that you must be either too fussy/picky or that noone else wants you...you're left on the shelf etc?

I'm an independent woman. I have a strong personality...one that needs a like-minded personality to deal with it. I like the fact that I'm able to come and go as I please and do whatever I please without having to constantly take someone else into consideration by letting them know of my whereabouts. Of course this doesn't stand up when it comes to my children....it's important they know where I am and vice versa...house rules.

But how would I feel about a significant other? I obviously didn't do too well with the last one, so what's to say that anyone else would be any different? Would I resent that I had to start taking someone else into consideration? I don't think so...I expect the courtesy would come naturally. It used to. Maybe I can't be bothered anymore? At this stage in my life I wonder if I should make a conscious effort to give up on the whole idea of sharing my future life with someone and just continue on as I am. Or do I take what's offered and think "Yeah ok, might work, he'll do." ?

I'm sure most of you will agree, that last statement is crap. "..might work" ?...."he'll do."?? What the fuck kinda attitude is that? Do I settle for something less than what I'd like in a man? (There's always going to be something about that other person you're not so ecstatic about...you either accept it or you don't.) Or do I conjure up an unrealistic picture in my mind of the perfect man that I would likely never meet because my thoughts of him are so blown out of proportion, no man could ever stand up to the demands that constitute my McDreamy?

And what about sex? One night stands...been there, done that...don't want to go there again...I'm 41, I'm past dealing with the hassles of trying to find where my panties are at while making a hasty escape at 5am. So let's wipe that idea completely out of my mind...it aint gonna happen again.

BOB? Yeah, Bob's good....but Bob's not that good. Bob has no hands or mouth, in fact he has no body to speak of...he's just a simulated body part. And although he can give me multiple warm fuzzies, it's certainly not in the same overall glowing capacity as a real live man. Where do I get the sexual satisfaction of pleasuring my partner if I can't whisper dirty nothings in his ear or the like? (Be proud of me for not going into more detail, my font was itching to go there lol).

So where does that leave me? Should I start thinking about putting myself more out there in public? You know, joining the throngs of singles out for dinner or singles dances etc? I guess that's a start, but do I really feel the need to subject myself to that right now? No I don't. But maybe when I get older and the children leave home and I'm sitting here on my sorry arse I'll start reviewing the possibilities?

And then maybe I won't have to, because maybe my McDreamy will turn up at the door one sunny afternoon offering nothing but friendship...yet have the sense of humour and x-factor to spark it into something more.

I suspect the same day that happens I'll grow a third breast in the centre of my forehead.
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