Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Private Emotion

After giving it several months of consideration (you know me, never one to rush for the gate in a hurry!), I have opted to make my blog private. As you are aware this will mean you'll need to login to be able to read "Internet Lovers".

I have plenty I want to write at the moment, things in my head I feel the need to get out, and my blog and it's readers have always been a great source of comfort by helping me 'lose' the occasional skeleton or two.

There are some of you I would automatically send out an invite to, and there are regular lurkers that have never commented but continue to read regardless. I understand that, I do this with several blogs myself. And saying that, I won't be sending out any invites unless I hear from you. It seems pointless to me, to send invites all other the show by assuming you're interested in what's going on in my life.

So, those of you who would like to be reading about what I've been upto and having an insight into what's going on in my head, please email me at camrya@paradise.net.nz.

I never thought I'd be making my writing private and confidential as such, but there are people out there I'd rather not be sharing myself with right now. Short of removing my blog completely, or starting up another, I feel it's the only solution for the moment.

I need to do some purging. I need to be able to write my thoughts and feelings down, without judgement, without repercussions...I need the freedom to write again without worrying what others may think of me, or talking about me behind my back. It's happened before, no doubt it'll happen again at some stage, but right now, I need the feeling of being anonymous, yet knowing I'm only amongst friends that understand at the same time. (Yes I know that's a contradiction but I think you get the gist.)

I think this will also give those nearest and dearest to my heart, and the readers friendships I value the most, the opportunity to comment without having to basically 'screen' what they say first.

I won't be changing the way I write or stop writing about whatever I please when it comes to my boys and their lives too, but I will be able to write about other things that are going on behind the scenes that most of you have been unaware of.

I'm hoping this change will help quieten some of the voices in my head before they take over completely!
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