Friday, June 22, 2007

She Says...He Says...

...and then "she says" again, cos she always has to have the last word lol.

It's my birthday today *grin*

Thank you to those that have emailed me with e-cards and birthday wishes. They were very sweet and I appreciated your thoughts tremendously. Y'all just made my day that much better!

Yesterday, I received the following email from the special man in my life. It's a biggun, but if you would care to take the time, I'd appreciate you reading it. Dan wrote this yesterday, it was a complete surprise to me, and I've left it as is, so as not to misquote him or alter anything he's written. He said I could add it to one of my posts. SO, here it is. Considering you've only heard my side of the situation, it seems fair to me that he should give his perspective also. I hate to have any of you think the man doesn't have a voice ya know? lol (He even gave it a heading, how cute is that? lol)

If any of you have ever been across to The Kiwi House and read Dan previously, you would know that he doesn't often write this personally. In fact I can only ever recall reading 1 post where he's written with such feeling and that was about his oldest daughter. I know for a fact that he finds it difficult to give himself on such a level to the world at large.

So...here's my birthday present to myself today. Some words from the man I love, to some of the people I love to share him with.

***

Shooting from the Lip

Well at last it is out in the open to the world (well a select few) that Dan is the mysterious man in Lisa's life.

Some of you have been full of support while some have been skeptical to say the least about my intentions.

OK here goes, I love Lisa with all my heart, and I guess that this was confirmed the first time that I actually met her for coffee - yes really - just as mates for coffee and to finally say hi in person. At the time I was married, not happily, but I was married. Anyway as things eventuated we found ourselves really being sooo comfortable with each other that it seemed like we had been together for ever. One thing led to another and we ended up having cuddles on the bed. And for those doubting Thomas's out there that have asked how Lisa can be so sure that I won't cheat on her, I refused to make love to Lisa because I was still married - damn that took some self control, believe me.

Someone that reads this blog, has known me a lot longer than even Lisa has, and knows that my marriage has been on the rocks and very loveless for a couple of years now. So I guess that was the catalyst that I needed, I was truly in love, and I am definitely not just talking physical, I didn't realise how great it felt and at the same time so painful.

Lisa and I decided to play it by ear and see what happened from there. I then decided that this was it, the marriage was over, not that it had been something that you can call a marriage in any normal manner. I started sleeping in a separate room, not that really mattered, sex was an annual affair if that. So at this stage the marriage was over. I had to go to Wellington to help my first born pack up her place as she was moving south to be with me, while she went to Teachers College. (First Born is my daughter not ours). So yah, Lisa and I had a couple of days together, with no guilt or thoughts of cheating getting in the way (remember - the marriage was finished at this stage). You know it is really funny how a 47 year old man can feel like a 15year old boy going on a first date LOL. We had a beautiful long weekend together, and it was really hard to say goodbye.

If you have read my blog, you will know that I have just had a business venture fail on me, and it has cost us a lot of money. This is the only reason that I am here at the moment, I refuse to leave my wife in a position that will cripple her financially, well in fact cripple both of us, and I will be here until we can sort this out, Lisa knows this and understands my loyalty, as it not only affects my wife but also my girls.

After someone not hiding a phone bill well enough (hmm did I really want her to find it) I was confronted, and after much one sided discussion - and that wasn't from me btw - I told her that I had found someone else (ha, she already knew that when she rang Lisa to confront her - sorry Lisa), and that our marriage was finished already.

OK long story shortened,, I told her that I would give it another go with our marriage, I guess that in a way that this was not really fair, as I didn't love her (and hadn't loved her for a long time - if I ever really had), but I would try, but I knew it would soon turn back to normal.

Don't get me wrong, my wife has a big heart, and I am in no way perfect, but it is really hard to fix something that has been broken for a long time and one party won't accept any part of the responsibility for the problems.

OK this is getting to be like War and Peace, LOL perhaps that is a fitting title. I had to go to Wellington for six weeks for training for my new job - Prison Officer. If you go back in Lisa's posts, that was when she got that phone call - "We need to talk".

Lisa understood my dilemma, and said that although she didn't want to let go, she understood, trust me this was done over a lot of tears from both of us - yes I do cry. Lisa's one request was that she could have me for the six weeks that I was in Wellington.....

Man she is cunning *joke*

We spent six wonderful weeks together, well more like the odd week night, but we had the weekends, including weekends away to the orchard - Thanks D. Lisa's friends, had to do the big inspection of this guy that had taken their Lisa's heart, funny thing so did Lisa's ex LOL, and they were pretty good about, since they knew the whole story.

We have pretty much been in contact every day since then, and even managed to spend another day together when I had to go to Wellington.

To let everyone else know, Lisa is the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with, she is like a part of me that has been separated and finally found her way back. This lady is beautiful and so incredible, we will sit there and just talk for hours, we can tell how each other is feeling, we just belong together, people have commented how we are like an old married couple when we are together - I like that. She is so full of beauty, energy, wisdom, love, compassion, understanding to everyone that she meets, and a great friend and Mum to the boys.

She is also a tiger in the bedroom (ha, bet that gets edited). Love making (I refuse to call it sex) is so much give and take, sharing every part of each other, understanding each others whimpers/moans/screams, knowing the parts of the body that get different reactions, knowing the difference between sensual and pain, and being together as one at that moment - not keeping count but don't you owe me?

Things are going to take time before we are together, Lisa knows this, and when I finally get out of this, I intend to spend time alone, I am not going to drop everything and go and set up a live in relationship with Lisa, this is the only way that we can know for sure that we are not jumping into things for the wrong reasons, and I will need to sort my own life out. Just as well there are other Prisons that I can transfer to, especially the ones in Wellington.

Even then, we both know that we will end up happily together - Hugs honey

***

Course, if he'd said a whole lotta nasty crap you never would've got to read it lol. I read this over again this morning and thought that regardless of the current situation, I'm a lucky woman. I've a man who loves me enough to wear his heart on his sleeve and share himself with my readers...I have family and friends who love me despite my shortcomings...and I mistakenly left the heater going all night in the lounge, so I'm feeling rather warm and toasty...inside and out.

Yep, today is a good day....Happy Birthday to ME! * big grin*
| (0)Blogger

<< Home