Friday, July 13, 2007

There's Gotta Be An Easier Way to Get Picked Up...

The first weekend Dan flew up to Wellington for his course, and a couple of days after receiving that phonecall, we arranged to see each other. Under the circumstances, I was expecting this to be the last time I saw him.

As far as I was aware I was going to go out and pick him up on the Saturday morning and we'd spend the day together. BUT, on the Friday, all day I was practically twitching...I wanted to see him more than anything, and the sooner the better. During the day I'd spoken to both Alice and Anna at different times...I told them jokingly, if I could swing it, I was hoping to get him back here on Friday night.

Both agreed I should endeavour to do this. Now, some of you know, I have a slight epilepsy condition...well it's only slight because the medication makes it behave most of the time...I don't convulse, the seizures I have mainly affect my eyes. If you know anything about epilepsy, you'll be aware that seizures can be brought on by strobe lighting. Driving at night with plenty of traffic on the roads, tends to make my brain think it's being strobed at. If I can get out of driving at night hours, I will. However, I have done it on many occasions, but I prefer not to.

Daylight hours don't necessarily stop them from happening either...if I'm tired, stressed and having to deal with too much sun shining through trees, median 'fencey' type barriers etc...well Bingo is it's name-o. My body involuntarily releases some kind of warm fuzzy thing that makes it want to close it's eyes and relax. It basically gives off the same feeling you enjoy in the aftermath of a good orgasm (are there actually any BAD ones?). Having an orgasm whilst driving, or perhaps leaping straight into the car (and who's to say you're not already IN the car??) to rush off immediately after experiencing an orgasm, could be fatal to your health and the safety of others on the road...*takes deep breath*....SO!...obviously if I'm already driving I can't let that happen. I have to do what I can to stop it (I know! It's a crying shame for sure *sigh*). Fighting against it means I need to voluntarily thrust my senses in the opposite direction...I tense myself up...instead of relaxing, I practically turn rigid until the feeling passes...which can be anything from 5 - 15 seconds.

ANYWAY!...I really AM trying to get to a point by telling you all that crap, so try and stay awake.

My closest friends and family know this about me. And as such (keep alert...crap point on the horizon)..both Anna and Alice told me that if I needed someone to drive out to kidnap Dan, they were free for the night. Over the course of the evening I received text messages from the ladies...pretty much saying the same thing "I'm still awake"... "I'm still free"..."Just text if you need me"...."I won't be going to bed for AGES yet"...hint bloody hint. Nothing like a woman on the edge and her supportive friends to throw her into action. And can I say, if I didn't love the two of them so much, I would've found a way to silence them indefinitely at that point.

Finally he calls...he's out....Friday night at the closest bar to the prison...doing the bonding thing with his course mates. Long story shortened ("Thank God for that!" I hear you all cry), he agreed to let me go and get him...I informed him I would be bringing someone else along for the ride...well she would be bringing me. Dan sorted, I texted Alice and with a squeal of rubber, she turned up 5 seconds later outside my house. Don't ask me how, she has some kinda 'damsels in distress' gift. It would come as no surprise to me, if she was parked down the road, full to the brim with anticipation, waiting for me to contact her.

How hard do you think it would be to find a male standing outside a bar on the main street? Let me rephrase that...Did we think it was going to be difficult to find Dan? Course not. Drive along the main drag, find bar, see him outside waiting, stop car, he climbs in, we drive off...piece o' piss. Neither of us really knew where we were going and not being familiar with the area....yep, you guessed it...we got lost.

A minor technicality and temporary setback.....whatever.

Anna, however, grew up in the region...I pulled out my trusty Nokia and dialled. Jason answers the phone...I wearily tell him we're lost, hoping for some guidance. The next thing I hear is Jason hooting with laughter, then *slap!*, followed by an "ouch!", an annoyed "Well, give me the freakin' phone then!"...and Anna's sweet voice comes on the line.

Anna: Where are you exactly?
Me: "Uh...dunno...River Road at the moment's about all I know."
Alice: "Tell her we've just passed the Trentham turn off"

I set the cellphone to loudspeaker.

Me: "You can hear each other now."
Anna: "Hey Alice!"
Alice: "Hey Anna! We're lost! lol"
Anna: "No worries, just focus, important business to attend to tonight you know?"
Alice: "Shit, don't I know it...the anticipation's bloody getting to me more, Lisa's cool as a cucumber."
Me: *Ignoring them both* "How will we know when we've reached Upper Hutt anyway?"
Alice: "We'll just look for the skanks in short skirts and fuck-me boots haha."
Me: *gasp* "Alice! Anna grew up around here!"
Alice: "Shit, sorry Anna, didn't know that" *sheepish*
Anna: *laughing* "Lisa, listen to me...this is what you need to do ok? Get him home, give him excellent sex, and then talk."
Alice: "Yeah...Deal to him and then he'll be too exhausted to put up a fight when you talk to him."
Anna: "Got that? Home, Sex, Talk. In that order."
Me: "Oh for heaven sake, you're making me feel like a manipulative predator!
Anna: "Give him great sex tonight and talk in the morning..."
Alice: "You could always tie him up and pretend you were going to give him great sex."
Me: "Oh shut up both of you!"
Anna: "Yeah, and then he won't be able to get away ever hahahaha"
Me: *groan* "I feel a headache coming on"
Alice: "Desperate times, call for desperate measures doll"
Me: "I'm not desperate...."

*silence*

Me: "Alright, I might be feeling a little desperate...but that's besides the point."
Anna: "Just follow the plan, you'll be sweet."
Me: "No, I'll follow my own plan"

*silence*

Me: "Ok, so I don't have a plan."
Alice: "Then just do as we..."
Me: "No....*groan, burying my face in my hands*..........Do you really think that'll work?"

*gales of laughter all round as I repeatedly bash my head against the dashboard*

With Anna verbally steering us in the right direction now, we found him. Alice practically pushed me out of the front and told me to get in the back with him....then told us she wanted to see both our hands at all times. Incidentally, this was the first time those two had ever met. On the drive home, while Alice and Dan chatted, I spent the majority of that time staring out the car window, giving myself a mental pep talk..... "I'm not going to cry, ...don't you DARE cry again!" and "Breeeeeathe...don't forget to breathe Lisa, keep breathing" with the occasional argument "It would be the height of bad manners if you bash him...not even a little bash?....ok, maybe just a little, but try not to bruise him"...thrown in.

I know you're all getting restless...it's ok, I'm winding up for the finish ...relaaaax...it's almost over. Let's go bullet-point fashion eh? I'm getting fed up with typing now anyway lol.

- Alice dropped us off;
- We came up the stairs and into the lounge;
- He took my hand, and pulled me over to the couch;
- He wanted to talk; (see? I knew it!)
- We cuddled up together and talked.
- We talked about him, about me, about us and about his marriage.

And then he kissed me....and with my heart aching, I thought, "How can something that feels SO right, be wrong?"

And I relaxed against his body and kissed him back...willing to concede that I was going to have to lose control before I could find what I wanted and what I'd been missing for so long.
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