How Sweet it is to Be Loved By You

Me: "It's like I have a wisdom tooth trying to come down at the back."
Ex-husband: "But you had all your wisdom teeth out years ago."
Me: "I KNOW!"
Ex: "Maybe you're a lot wiser than we thought......although I'd find that hard to believe."

***

Me: "I've been thinking..."
Co-worker: *touching my forehead* "Are you feeling alright?"
Me: "ha ha..."
Co-worker: *rolling chair out swiftly from under desk* "Here, perhaps you should sit down."

***

Doctor: "So, let me get this straight...you thought you might have conjunctivitus and you chose to wear your contact lenses anyway?
Me: "Er...yes..."
Doctor: *pointing sternly* "NAUGHTY!!"

***

Patient: "That's an interesting shirt you're wearing today."
Me: "Yes, it's a little different isn't it?
Patient: "Did you tie dye it yourself?"
Me: "Um, actually it's not tie-dyed..."
Patient: "Well, it's nice, but I'm not sure too many people could pull THAT off."
Elderly Gent interrupting: "I beg to differ...I expect they'd be plenty willing to pull it off."

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