Monday, October 27, 2008

Warts an' All

I had an interesting chat with Jaimee last week.  We were sitting at the table colouring-in together and she kept saying "pardon me" as she passed wind.  Nice manners you say?  Yes, that's what I thought and I told her as much.  She continued popping away and pardoning herself each time and eventually I suggested perhaps she needed to go and use the toilet.  Nope, she assured me she didn't need to go.  (I later found out she'd 'stolen' a bunch of grapes out of her father's work van and scoffed the lot, go figure.)

We carried on colouring, switching pencils, turning pages to a 'better' picture (just when I'm finally getting into the one she'd first chosen...I may never reach my full colouring-in potential because of this kid.) 

Jaimee:  "I never say 'pardon me' at Kindy"
Me:  "Oh?  Why's that?"
Jaimee: "Because then they'd know I did it."
Me:  "But surely your friends at Kindy fart too."
Jaimee:  "Yes, but I don't want them to know I do.  And if I'm really quiet, they don't hear it, and I don't have to say pardon me."
Me:  "So, when your friends fart, what do you do?"
Jaimee:  "I laugh at them"
Me:  "I see.  So how come you're allowed to laugh at them, but they're not allowed to laugh at you?"
Jaimee:  "Because I don't like it."

Simple as that.  We're talking about a 4 year old here.  How young do the children need to be before they're taking into consideration their image in society?  Noone enjoys being laughed at I guess and regardless of the fact that everyone farts at some stage during their day (some more than others), can you actually remember how old you were when you began worrying about other people 'catching you out'?  When did kids this age start to be concerned about what other people thought of them?

Passing wind is natural...what happens if we don't do it?  I'm sure there's some kinda long-winded (haha) medical term for it...whatever it is, I bet it's painful.  The word fart itself is vulgar...to me that is...we were never allowed say it when I was younger.  My mother said we were 'blowing off'...her best friend who lived next door called it "fluffing".  There are quite a variety of words and phrases...no doubt you've all got your own. 

Depending on what you've been eating, sometimes it just can't be helped. Foods that'll give you gas (the internationally acclaimed baked beans immediately springs to mind), can't be indefinitely crossed of your shopping list can they?  That could mean half the contents of my pantry getting binned.

God, I got sidetracked...just for a change, haha.  Back to these airy bodily functions and others' reactions to them.  I will confess that I'd rather end up doubled over in pain than fart in front of particular people.  Make that any people.  Except my kids...they're supposed to love me unconditionally, I'm their mother.  And even for them I try to keep it to a minimum.  Besides if you can't relax and let rip in your own home, where the hell else can you?  (I even farted against Cameron one time....he was clowning around with me and being deliberately obnoxious...I warned him first...he didn't believe me.  I've never done it again but now anytime he starts getting all righteous I only need turn my bum towards him and he jumps, haha).

And men....what is it with men and farting?  They all seem to think it's bloody hilarious!  The louder and smellier the better.  They even have competitions for God sake.  Great noises trumpeting out of their arses...what could be more unappealing??  As far as I'm aware, a man's virility and attractivness is not dependant on his arse talking (although many can be quite talented at talking out of their arses lol).  It's disgusting I tell ya!

It bothers me that a child as young as Jaimee is already feeling the restriction of social boundaries. But what doesn't bother me, is she obviously feels comfortable and relaxed enough around me to let down her guard and be her true self. I love that.  To me that means I must be one of the people in her life that she trusts to accept her the way she is.  Knowing that, despite the close proximity of her constantly popping away in my presence, warms me to the core.

So!...to those that read me.....*squirms around in chair*...oh ok, here we go......

*paaaaarp!*

Uh...*blush*...that's just to say thank you for continuing to read me, and more importantly, for accepting me for who I am too.  

Oh, come on....give's a kiss....See? you don't want to now do you??
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