Because I can ...

The elliptical machine that's set up in my living room has almost become the focus of my day. I get up in the morning, walk past it to the PC, back past it to the kitchen to switch on the kettle. Anytime I come into the lounge, it's there....watching me...practically breathing down my neck. It taunts me to distraction. Being the soft touch I am, I give in. I've since discovered that I can get through 10 minutes without feeling the need to call the paramedics. But only if I'm reading a book/magazine and with the music blaring in my earphones. When I first started using it, I was obsessed with the timer...watching it go down...glaring at it to hurry, hurry, HURRY! If only it would go at the same pace as my heart rate...I'd have been finished and off there with plenty of time to cream a bun and stuff it in me gob. Not that I would of course...health is essential to good living and blah blah fricking blah... honest , I wouldn't...just sayin'. One of the unfortu...

The other day, one of the nurses husbands rang and asked if he could leave a message for his wife. He wanted to know if he should pick her up a new window wiper blade and run over and put it on her car. Earlier in the day it was sunny...that afternoon it started to rain. How thoughtful and caring was that of him to worry that she needed a new blade to replace the 'floppy' one? This is what I miss. Only a very small part of having someone special in your life, and someone that you can do those little extra bits and pieces for that make all the difference to their day too. Are you lot getting tired of this stuff yet? Because I have plenty more where it's coming from I'm afraid. I'm also quite likely to be repeating and contradicting myself from post to post. I've been doing a fair amount of thinking (imagine that?) and reflecting about the ins and outs of coupledom versus single life. Maybe this has something to do with being over 40? Isn't that around the ...

We walked alone through an orchard in full bloom....approximately two thousand trees resplendent in apple blossoms. Only the sound of birds and the gentle neigh of horses to be heard as the sun went down. Crisp fresh air...vibrant lush pastures...so many cascades of pink and white flowers...laughter at the comical pukekoes chasing each other through the trees. I looked around saying quietly to myself "How could anyone not want this?" We sat on the floor cross-legged in front of the hearth and watched the flames take hold while drinking bourbon. We lay in the spa in the dark outside feeling the cool mist of the rain against our faces...bodies immersed in the heat of bubbling waters. And afterwards tangled amongst the covers that night, my brain feeling alive with so many thoughts racing around, these lyrics kept tripping across my mind... If I lay here... If I just lay here... would you lie with me... and just forget the world?

So now that we've ascertained there's no McDreamy in the purest of forms...but there are Mr-Right-For-Me's (or You's, that's native speak )....we have to sit back and wait? I've often heard the saying that you shouldn't sit around waiting for things to come to you....if you want something you must go out there and make it happen. We can't expect to sit back and wait for everything to be served up on silver platters now can we? We need to rise up, take charge and shout at the world as a united front to "BRING.IT.ON.BAY.BBY!" After it's told us to sod off....we'll sit back on our haunches for a time and plot how to injure it in as many ways possible. Now, after all my harping on about losing weight and not losing weight and disappearing necks and tits not fitting into bras properly etc....I've given up on the idea of McDreamy just turning up...I'm going with the gonna-make-things-happen-stance instead. Not on the man front you ...

Do people who see and think that you've been single for several years come to the conclusion that you must be either too fussy/picky or that noone else wants you...you're left on the shelf etc? I'm an independent woman. I have a strong personality...one that needs a like-minded personality to deal with it. I like the fact that I'm able to come and go as I please and do whatever I please without having to constantly take someone else into consideration by letting them know of my whereabouts. Of course this doesn't stand up when it comes to my children....it's important they know where I am and vice versa...house rules. But how would I feel about a significant other? I obviously didn't do too well with the last one, so what's to say that anyone else would be any different? Would I resent that I had to start taking someone else into consideration? I don't think so...I expect the courtesy would come naturally. It used to. Maybe I can't be bothered ...

A little girl walks into the lounge one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper. "Where does poo come from?" she asks. The father, feeling a little perturbed that his 5-year-old daughter is already asking difficult questions, thinks for a moment and says: "Well, you know we just ate breakfast?" "Yes," answers the girl. "Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet - and that is poo." The little girl looks shocked and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks: "And Tigger?"

Patient: "I need to see a nurse." Me: "Is it urgent? They've got their hands full right now, but if you don't mind waiting I'm sure I can get someone to see you." Patient: "I need to have a pregnancy test." This set off alarm bells in my head...and only because of who was asking. The week before I had this patient's mother on the phone. Her 35 year old daughter is intellectually handicapped and had recently found the man of her dreams. By mixing around in the same crowd, they'd discovered each other, love blossomed and the two of them had decided to get married...after three weeks together. But first they were going to live together. No problem there, we've all been there (well not all of us, but certainly many of us right?). Mum's dilemma, was that her daughter refused to take any form of birth control because they were not going to have sex. She'd stated quite adamantly that sex was off the cards until after the weddi...

Michael (Mikey) Ragusa had been a plumber for several years before he changed vocation and became part of the New York Fire Department. He'd been a firefighter for a little over 12 months before the terrorist attack on September 11, 2001. Michael was a well-loved man by many. I have read so much about how he would help anyone that needed his plumbing skills over the years...he would've given the shirt from his own back if it helped someone else. He was always there for those that needed him. "He did things to make others happy," said his fiancée. "That's how he made himself happy." That fateful day as his mother watched the towers in flames on tv, she felt secure in the knowledge that none of her children worked there. No other family member had been part of the fire service before, and as such it can be said she was not thinking like a 'fire mum'. I don't think we can ever ever be prepared for the emotional turmoil that rushes through us, w...

"Good Afternoon, Blah Medical Centre, Lisa speaking" "Hello Lisa, Jack Brown here, I have somewhat of an unusual request." "Hello Mr Brown, no problem, I've already had some interesting conversations with you in the past...fire away." "Ok. I'm going overseas shortly and my 70th birthday is coming up. At one stage I will be taking a cruise from Prague to Budapest." "Oh how wonderful!...I'm extremely jealous." "Now, during that time, and on my 70th, I suspect I am going to require, for the first time in my life, some viagra." "Oh, goodness....that sounds pretty exciting." "Yes, I'm not sure what I'm getting myself into but there you go. Due to the fact I leave NZ on Saturday, I'm running out of time to see the doctor and I was hoping he'd write me a script without me having to come in." "I understand, let me have a word with him, make sure he's happy to do that after he...

Do you think you are a better mother than your mother? And what good/bad traits as a mother do you think you learned from your mother? And what characteristics as a mother do you think you learned on your own or because of the boys you have. From Leilani of The Pursuit of Meaning I don't think I'm a better mother than my own...I'm just a different mother. I had never really felt 'connected' properly to my Mum. She always seemed tired and grumpy when I was growing up. I never brought back friends from school for fear of upsetting her...she just didn't seem to like extra children around the house. As I got older I started to realise and understand there were reasons for that. If my kids want to have their friends over, they know it's ok for them to do so, but they always ask first to make sure I don't have other plans. My mum had always said that she didn't bring her girls up to be running around after males. The irony of that is, that's what I e...

Did you ever run away from home or at least threaten to do so? From Mr Haney of Ramblin On Apparently I used to run away all the time when I was a toddler. My parents bought a swing and slide set for the backyard to keep me there...that's where I used to run to...to play on those contraptions in other kiddies' yards. It didn't make any difference, I still buggered off. When I was about 4 I used to 'run away' to my Aunt's house...she only lived around the corner...and whenever I stomped out the door, my Mum would ring my Aunt and say "Lisa's on her way again" lol. My older sister ran away several times when she was a young teenager. She rang me after she'd taken off one time and asked me to pack a bag of clothes for her and hide it in the garden shed....of course I did it. My parents were furious with me when they found out. Seeing the pain and fear my parents went through with my sister running away, was enough to keep me grounded and at home ...

Yesterday, I went into the local menswear store to buy him a new pair of jeans (he was at work already). The young lady behind the counter said to me "You're Cameron's Mum aren't you?"...apparently she'd only left his school the month before. After replying yes, I asked her what size she thought he might be, it'd been a while since I bought pants for him. She immediately said "90cm". That was pretty much around what I'd thought myself. He's grown a fair bit more this year...taller and broader. I'm his Mum, I should have some idea right? She didn't even have to think about it...she knew . You know what that means don't you? That girl's been checking out my son's body! (Not only does she know his jean measurement, she is also now aware of what size underwear he takes lol.) Last night he brought me the form for next year's courses. He's chosen his university entrance subjects and needed me to sign my approval. At...