Because I can ...

To my special blogger friends (and those that don't have blogs but read others' anyway *wink*)...I wish a safe, healthy and happy holiday season. Merry Xmas and all the very best to you and your families for the New Year. *Big smoochy group hug*

Rushing into the nurse's room, doctor on my heels: Me: *grabbing nurse and looking back* "haha, I win!" Doc: "Actually it was you I wanted to nail." Me: *cough* "You really need to choose your words more carefully." Doc *gasping* "You've got a filthy mind!" Me: "I can't help it, can I?!...when you're on your own, you have an inbuilt radar for such things." **** Walking into Cameron's bedroom: "Honey? Are you able to..." *taking in state of room* "I wish you'd put those dishes and cups in the dishwasher...and bring your dirty washing out to the laundry please...god, I get so fed up with telling you that. I'm going out shortly, the truck will be here to collect the mini-skip soon, can you tell the driver...*pointing*...are those boxes empty?...chuck em out. Oh my god, what is THAT?" *pausing for answer* "Jeez Mum, that was all very A.D.D. of you...go take some medication."

On Saturday, after my hair-ripping experience, I was expecting to put up a very short post here. It was merely going to say: "Well...THAT hurt like a mother-fucker." But, I didn't need to...because not only was I too busy admiring my own armpits and running my hands up and down my hairless legs...I was also slapping my sister on the back and telling her what a great job she'd done and how proud I was of her. My Mum watched for a short time, then she obviously got bored. There was no yelling or crying involved whatsoever...she buggered off to find something more interesting to do. Lucky I'm not such a sensitive gal...I could have been hurt by her disinterest...perhaps I should have been more entertaining? Although how I was supposed to achieve that lying on my back with my arms in the air is beyond me. (Oy, this was my mother ...me being in that position would not appeal to her, so shut ya gobs.) Anyway, apart from one very brief teeth-gritting moment...it was virt...

I've been growing the hairs on my legs and under my arms for almost two weeks now. Don't freak out...I know it's a turn-off, but there's a logical reason for me doing this. Besides, I'm not here to turn you on anyway. Back to the hair, I'm a shaver. Apart from the few months I gritted my teeth and gave the epilady a fair crack many moons ago...I've been shaving for years. I shave in the shower every day or every other day...it's a nuisance, but the alternative is dealing with prickly legs and armpits, and I'm just not prepared to leave it until it gets completely out of hand...so the hair's gotta go. My sister, bless her heart, has decided to take up waxing, along with the rest of the services she offers in her studio. Which means my body is once again being tampered with for the sake of beauty science. Christ, how much longer can this go on for? Am I not already beautiful enough for fuck sake?? You know, I didn't mind so much laying back...

...yet I guess you didn't even know I was out. I don't get out too often these days, so when I do, I have to make sure it's noted somewhere I guess. Hey, look at me! I've posted, um...*counts up posts*...5 times within a week. Who knew it was still possible eh?? I've been out to my work christmas dinner tonight...had far too much to drink...can you tell?? Enjoyed myself immensely...and although the screen is slightly blurry, I can still type. Damn, I really am a legend. Or something like that. I'm off to get my gear off and get into bed...I've a headache coming on I think. I bet you're all just tickled pink that I thought of you enough to come here and post before I went to bed, haha. Happy weekend to you all!

Cameron left the house this morning, for the last time in his college school uniform. The last time...EVER. That's it...finito...he's done with school. Ok, he's going to university next year...but he's done, done, done, with school . Course, I had to grab him and hug him tightly before he left. "Well...this is it...last time sweetheart." "Oh Mum, it's just school." "I don't care. You made it all the way through and came out the other end intact...I'm so proud of you." *sigh* "It's only school...no need to make such a big deal about it." Then he stepped out the door grinning and winked at me. He WINKED at me! lol *deep breath* My baby's gonna be playing with the BIG boys! I feel a moment coming on. *sob*

You know those people that can get chatty when there are gaps during conversations? They're the people that kinda start talking madly, filling in the pauses by running off at the mouth...polluting the air with a whole lot of anything and nothing...which can sometimes equate to complete rubbish? You know what I mean right? Sales people love them. A good salesperson will gauge this in their prospect, sit back and let the potential buyer continue on like that...til they've basically sold themselves on whatever product it is. The sale goes through, and the vendor barely moved a muscle. I think they call that "easy money". I can be one of those people. I readily admit it. I don't always do it and despite enjoying the sound of my own voice, I actually value silence. I'm the mother of two boys...they can be rowdy buggers...so yeah, I LOVE my silence. But there are definite times that I feel the need to talk non-stop...fill the spaces...and keep filling them til I ru...

I must mumble sometimes when I answer the phone at work. I'm not aware of it but the patients either have problems hearing, or I'm mumbling. Maybe it happens on Monday mornings more than any other day of the week? I must check that out...do some kinda survey. Do you know...I will actually sing along with the radio all the way to work on a Monday or Thursday (early shifts) , deliberatey to make sure my voice is 'warmed' up and awake?? I kid you not...I really do do that. Anyway...I answer the phone... "Good Morning, Blah Medical Centre, Lisa speaking." Those that don't ignore the fact that I've announced myself (or maybe they're not sure because of the mumble?) ...will come back with "Oh, hello Liz" ...or "Good morning Lesley" . I never correct them...just let them believe my name's something other than it truly is. What does it matter? They're not ringing to be friends with me are they? I've tried various wa...

Always remember to pay more attention to which style of knickers one is wearing before attending the gym. Careful strategic planning is recommended. Do not just grab the first pair, willy nilly, out of the drawer without thinking clearly. Making the correct underwear choice will ensure that one does not spend the entire 30 minutes on the treadmill wondering how many people there are working out on the row of cross-trainers directly behind one. Which means one will avoid thinking about how many others are possibly aware that one's undies are riding up one's arse crack. It will also stop one from wishing that nobody is using above-mentioned cross-trainers, and thus, one will not become obsessed about all the witnesses one could have, of one digging around in one's arse to extract wayward panties. And for future reference...remember it can be a most uncomfortable experience to use the exercycle immediately after getting off the treadmill. (When you have a bum as big as min...