Sunday, October 29, 2006

Taking It For The Team...Someone Has To!

For the past week or so I've been meaning to bring this to your attention, just couldn't really figure out a way to put it with some of the other subjects I've posted. Granted, my time has been taken up with doing some damage control hereabouts so I'm sure I'll be forgiven for not bringing it up sooner lol.

Karen McCullagh is a PhD researcher at CCSR, University of Manchester, England. She is sponsored by the ESRC and Office of the Information Commissioner, UK. Currently, Karen is in the process of exploring the privacy attitudes and expectations of the blogging community.

Considering the uniqueness of this subject (and my love for the English lol), I felt it deserved a post of it's own. Karen took it upon herself to read my blog as well as make an informed and thoughtful comment based on what she'd learned whilst reading some archives, and well, that just gave me more reason to assist. It also served to remind me I had already started a draft about it, thus here we are lol.

Some of you may have heard from Karen directly, others of you may not have heard of her until now, but I can assure you this is a genuine appeal for information.

If you participate you will be asked to answer questions anonymously about your blogging practices and your expectations of privacy when publishing online. All answers will be stored and analysed on a confidential basis. The responses will be used to inform academic and policy discussions on blogging practices and attitudes towards privacy.

I did this survey myself last week, it took stuff all time and gave me some food for thought about whether my own blogging practices were putting some of my real life in jeopardy. Not in a scary stalker way, but in a 'giving out too much information' kinda way. Let's face it, most of you know my life's pretty much an open book. I realise I'm not as forthcoming with what's going on around here in a detailed sense these days, but for the most part you pretty much know what's what with me and my world.

I'd be grateful if you would take a few moments yourselves to fill out this online survey...and I know for certain that Karen and her colleagues would appreciate your help immensely too. I'd be interested to know what the final outcome of the survey is, so maybe we'll be lucky enough at some stage once the information is collated etc, to find out. Course that could be several years down the track, we can be a complicated bunch with many braincells to analyse lol.

Click here to take CCSR's online survey. Should you want further information, you can contact Karen directly via her email address on that site. I've emailed her a couple of times myself...she's very friendly and won't bite, promise lol.

It seems an ideal way to put forward some of what makes our community tick...especially if it helps some of the non-bloggers out there understand what it is that keeps us keeping on. Just that reason alone adds weight for me.

Besides, who are we to stand in the way of science and nature?? It's time to let your brain be picked. Go!
Friday, October 27, 2006

Getting Some Dirt

I've always found there's something about a man that gets down and dirty. And I'm not talking about in the bedroom in this instance. I'm referring to the blue collar worker. In fact the same could be said for both genders. What man wouldn't like to see his woman with grease on her face, her body a bit on the sweaty and sticky side occasionally?

Now, I don't expect everyone to think that way. And I'm certainly not knocking the white collar workers...especially those that put on hardhats and toolbelts during the weekends lol. I'm merely saying that personally, I've a thing for the boys that earn their living by getting filthy and sweaty on a daily basis.

I remember watching my (ex)husband years ago, working at his brother's timber yard. The kids were toddlers at the time and we'd decided to drop in for a quick visit and take him lunch. Before he'd noticed our arrival, I stood there watching his determination, the sweat trickling down his face and the bulge of his arms as he steadily worked oblivious to the affect it was having on me.

He then used the front-end loader to move some timber...after jumping down and dusting himself off, he made his way over. His mouth half open in greeting, he took in my expression and gesturing towards the machine said grinning "Shall I bring it home with me tonight?" lol

The sight of an overall-clad mechanic with the smell of grease coming off him....the sheen of sweat on the bare chest of a construction worker...the whiff of turpentine from the painters/decoraters of this world...the courier driver that runs through the door to get a signature in his bright red and yellow garb. Any and all...I'm mentally drooling. My body responds in a way I can't quite describe (hope? lol), my automatic smile bright enough to challenge the neon brilliance of Vegas.

Overalls, uniforms, power tools, large machinery...bring it on boys...I'm good for it...well, good for perving at it anyway. I'll even give them a standing ovation if they want. And saying that, I'll only be watching from afar...getting any closer could be detrimental to their health and have me slapped with a restraining order faster than you can sigh "Oh dear, there she goes again."

Am I right? or am I right?

What about you? Blue collar? White collar? No collar?!
Monday, October 23, 2006

Happy Days Are Here Again!

Right...now that Blogger has stopped poohing it's pants and some of the 'excitement' has settled down, it's time to get back to some kinda normal programme here. I had been thinking about writing a post about men and attraction etc, but with recent developments it completely ran in the opposite direction. No matter, I'm sure it'll surface again at some stage lol.

ANYWAY....Guess what I've got?? Acutally, you don't have to guess, just check out the pic.

Picture 325

So yes, the infamous parcel has arrived....been to the UK, and made it's way back to NZ. And thank goodness for that eh? Now we all know where Barnaby is, and we all know where the Bloggers Journal is. Jo, if you're going on holiday in the next few weeks, can you let me know? Cos I aint sending this baby back til I know for sure you're going to be there to receive it this time lol.

***

There appears to be something going on at Blogrolling.com lately. Ever since I put that programme into play with my lovely blogroll, I've relied on it to let me know when or if you lot have updated. For the most part all's been going well. In the past so many weeks, something didn't seem quite right.

To begin with I figured once the weekend was upon us, noone updated. There were no *'s alongside anyone's name. Forgetting the fact that it's almost a habit that I myself don't post over the weekends these days, I was mildly irked I had no new reading fodder to feast my eyes upon. That's otherwise known as double standards.

Yesterday I came in here, dropped down my blogroll and oh my Lord, each and every one of you had an asterik! That's including the blogs that have never had a feed to connect to in the past.

Today it seems back to 'normal', whatever the hell that is. But I live in hope at having the experience sometime soon. lol

***

The other day Cameron rang me from the Bakery to ask if I wanted cake. (What kinda dumb question is that? lol) I asked why and he said that one of the chocolate cakes was lopsided, so if I wanted him to, he'd bring it home. Obviously he had it in his clutches when I picked him up. At home I opened the box...

Picture 309

"What's that? Did they start to decorate it and change their minds or what?"
"Nah, that was just me having a go at cake decoration"
"Well, what's it supposed to be then?"
"Whoa Mum, what's wrong with you? Can't you see it spells "lol", geeez"

Of course it does!...How could I not have seen that?? Doh!
Sunday, October 22, 2006

Knights In Shining Armour an' all that Shite

Thanks for your comments regarding the harmony in my home and the review on my previous post. You know I always appreciate your views and especially the support. My children also appreciate it....they both know that if I did not have you all to lean on, they'd be less or no children in this house by now lol.

As some of you are aware my oldest son, took it upon himself to get involved. I had mentioned the review to him on the way to school that morning....I also explained what that website was about...noone submits their blog unless they're expecting to get torn apart in some way or other. Mind you, I have seen some rather favourable reviews on there, but I was under no illusion that mine was going to be amongst them.

The biggest error I made that morning was saying the only thing that had stung a little was being called a bad mother. Being a mother is something I've always wanted to be. My boys are my lifeblood...which would also attribute to my recent thoughts of coming to terms with them getting older. I have to admit I don't like thinking too much about the time they'll be leaving home. That in particular has dread weighing heavier on me with each passing day.

Ok, that's literally a few years away yet, but the years are certainly flying by at a great rate of knots...I just know that day will be here well before I'm prepared to deal with it emotionally. As with each stage, I expect I will adjust, this being just another step. I'd hazard a guess and say it's going to be one of the toughest hurdles for me to overcome.

Anyway, Cameron being Cameron, went into that website Friday evening to take a look-see himself. I can't say I was happy with him reading some of the responses. He told me he'd had a good look around in there, didn't take him long to realise what the site was all about. Props to him for even reading the site terms and conditions, that is SO him. He told me later he read them specifically to make sure he wasn't going to breach them lol. What can I say? He's a Virgo, apparently Virgos are perfectionists, crossing t's, dotting i's etc.

For those that didn't go look in there, here's his first comment:

"I think you are all seriously underestimating the integrity of me and my brother. Yeah, I’m the older child of the family, the one who’s mother you just insulted. She’s a bit annoyed by your comments, but she understands it’s all just a big, unfortunate coincidence that you should happen to review her blog on the one day she posts the content she did. She’s not angry.

But I am.

How DARE you make assumptions about my mother’s ability as a parent? I live a good life, I’m taught good morals, fed well, disciplined and I work hard thanks to my parents, my mum especially. Apparently swearing at a 15 year old is going to send them into emotional turmoil and ruin them. The loud noise coming from the hole in your head shaped in a way that people find insulting is the worst thing a parent could possibly say to their children. (anyone understand this bit? lol)

Get in contact with me in 10 years time when I’ve got a good job and a steady income. Tell me I had horrible parents and I’m a bad person. By that time, someone will have invented a way to punch people in the face over the internet.
You’re lucky I would never hit a senior outside of self-defense, or I’d be aiming for right between your eyes.

YOU ARE A REVIEWER. GROW UP AND LEARN TO REVIEW PROPERLY.

Jerk."

Besides the mention of possible violence at the end there, the other thing that stood out was the 10 years thing. Lord I hope he's got a good job before he's 27...how many years is he planning to spend at University anyway?? lol

Although he was slightly annoyed by the fiasco, his comment was written rather tongue in cheek. I was horrified to see that he'd commented. I knew he'd just set himself up to be verbally slaughtered. He couldn't have cared less. In fact he told me after he got responses, he was quite disappointed. He was expecting something other than the effing and blinding that went on. Apparently he loves a good argument...enjoys the sparring of wordy splendor. I don't know why this surprises me...it's not like I haven't been up against him myself lol.

He also asked me why I bothered submitting my blog to such a site in the first place. Gave me a bit of a talking to about not expecting anything other than what I got and that I should've known better. (Hell, sometimes he makes me feel like I'm living with my father lol). Regardless of that he still felt the need to jump right in there I guess.

My next question to him was "So, just how much of my blog have you been reading? Have you actually read anything on there that would bother or upset you about me?" His response? "Mum, it would seem to me that there are things on there that I would NOT want to read...I have no interest in reading your blog...blogs in general bore me. I only went through yours to get to the other site. I have a good foundation, I'm a good person...you're an integral part of the reason my foundation is as sound as it is."

*melt* (Mush doesn't work with Cameron, he's a young man now, unless I was some love-struck girlie falling at his feet, I had to watch my approach lol.)

"Bless you for having such a good foundation....and bless me for giving it to you!" We had a laugh about that and then he went back to his room and bloody responded to the comments again on that dang site...regardless of me telling him to keep out of there now. *sigh*

It's not the first time he's wanted to have his say or felt the need to stand up for his family in some way or other. He did it earlier this year, just not in such a public fashion. He also did it last year with the school board in defence of his younger brother.

It has crossed my mind that if I keep getting myself in these kinda muddles, that maybe...just maybe...he'll feel he needs to stick around here forever to keep being my saviour lol. But no, I'm hardly going to stifle his life because I don't seem to always have control over my own. I'm a mother first and foremost...a ho second, JUST KIDDING! sheesh lol Just cos I have the occasional dirty thought, doesn't make me one....it makes me normal I would think. The past is the past, and not a road I'd be travelling down again. Writing about it is one thing, doing it, another.

In closing, I'd also like to make special mention of my mate Dan who also went into bat for me. Despite the fact that he got abused and couldn't care less, it just goes to show doesn't it?....

It's me that's blessed...I'm a fortunate woman to have such lovely people in my life. Thank you :)

Friday, October 20, 2006

I Got The Boot!

I got smacked...well actually I didn't, I got the boot...only the one, my other foot is still bare.

Sometime around July/August I submitted my blog for a review at ITalk2Much. At the time I was looking for extra traffic to read the "2996" project I had just signed up with and was hoping to give it some extra advertising by getting more bloggers to participate in the 911 5th anniversary project.

Anyway, it backfired, because I stupidly thought it might get reviewed in the next few days after submission...definitely wasn't thinking about that part of it. The blog traffic came pouring through last night...almost 2 months too late for my original intention.

I certainly wasn't expecting a warm, fuzzy review...but if that's the way some people see me, then so be it. I won't be making excuses for my past when I went off the rails for a few months. It is what it is, I'm not proud of what I did but I won't lie about it either. I don't need to bring it out here to a public forum, fair enough. But I have, and will continue to do so if and when it takes my fancy. I should just write about all the rainbows and sunshine that happen throughout my life?? Be a pretty empty page if that were the case lol

Apparently I'm wallowing in filth around here and exploiting my innocent children by putting our cutsie pictures in the banner. So, if you'd like to go read a quick review telling me to grow up and take care of my kids....here it is.

****

For the rest of you darlings that regularly read my page, here's an update on my episode with Ryan yesterday.

He came out and joined us for dinner (I knew he would, I was cooking one of his favourite pasta dishes...I had planned to do that earlier in the day, so no, it wasn't me trying to suck up ok? lol). Funnily enough, he stayed out of his room for the majority of the evening (no internet see...I might be dubbed a skanky whore and bad mother, but I aint always that stupid lol). Watched some tv with me and then eventually we talked. We both apologised for treating each other so badly...he came over to me put his arms around me and we apologised again.

Being a Mum, as most of you will know, has gotta be the greatest challenge in life....managing to keep it together 100% of the time while parenting teenagers is a crock of shit, we all lose our rag at some stage. Yesterday was one of the very few times I've lost it with him and he's pretty good at pushing my buttons. If I've actually got to the point of swearing, then they both know I've got to the end of my tether. They know that's time to vacate my personal space. I also know when it's time to shut my mouth with either of them...Cameron's hands start working like crazy....Ryan's eyes take on somewhat of a 'death' glare. We all disappear into different parts of the house and have time out (yes, even at this age lol).

That doesn't make us bad people ya know...that just means we can read each other's body language well. The positive side of this, is that it happens so very rarely, that it gives us all a good shake up and we come out feeling unhappy for being such dicks, yet closer as a family.

So, anyway, today all is well in the Internet Lovers household...no stomping, swearing or slamming of doors...just peacefully going about our business. Life is back to normal for us today....but then who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring? lol
Thursday, October 19, 2006

Stormy, Inside and Out

Two days without the "30-Plus" pills so far. Finally got my period today (I just know you all wanted to know that)...think it's only about 3 weeks late this time. That's pretty good considering it's usually about 3 months too late.

Anyway, that's not what I was coming in here to tell you. I came here to vent and scream instead. But I've since calmed down, so I'm feeling less like a, well, screamer.

I picked Ryan up from school today because it was raining. I didn't have to, but I chose to because I knew he would appreciate it. I only did what any other mum would do basically. It turns out it was a bad idea. Not only did I get saturated and blown about by the gale force winds, I found my son in a less than happy mood, with the look of thunder on his face.

He'd had a bad day apparently...he spotted the car...got in...I took one look at the expression and asked "What's up hun?"...his response was rude and disrespectful and had us driving home in silence. When he's like this, I know it's best to give him time to settle before the 'approach', so I shut my mouth. (You didn't know I could do that, did you?)

We got in the house and Cameron raised his eyebrows in question, as he watched his younger brother storm passed to his room. I shrugged. Then tried to relay the little information I had as I carefully placed cups into the dishwasher....by the time the second sentence was out of my gob, I was practically throwing them in (no breakages, yay for resilient crockery).

What started off as a quiet and rational recount, turned into me yelling at Ryan through his bedroom door about how he needed to learn some respect. And I swore...alot...what's more, I don't care. He's 15, he knows what cussing is, he knows what the words mean, and he knows when he shouldn't be using them. More importantly, he knows that when his mother uses them, he's crossed the line. So quite frankly, right at this moment, I don't care that I yelled "Fuck it Ryan!...I don't deserve to be treated like SHIT for something I didn't do!"

I slammed into my bedroom, threw myself dramatically on the bed and snorted like an angry bull for 10 seconds. Slammed and stomped my way back to the lounge, heard Cameron ask quietly if I was ok, which then made me feel like crap for acting like a tantrum-throwing toddler. I went and yanked Ryan's ethernet cable out of the back of the router.

I ended up in the shower, my forehead against the wall, bawling like a baby and wondering WHY I had been feeling so devastated about the thought of my kids leaving home. At this rate, they'll be leaving a lot faster than I'm expecting.

I'm going to start receiving packets of 30-Plus pills in the mail now aren't I? *sigh*
Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Current Highlights(?)

I've been told I need to write some kinda newsy update post, so you all know what I've been up to. To be honest, it's nothing particularly exciting so I was back to scraping around in the bottom of the barrel to find a subject. My past skanky-ness is apparently not the best way to go it seems...it makes me look..well, er, skanky. Not something I'm particularly proud of, but hey, they're all learning experiences...some more than others...and certainly some I could've done without.

Anyway, on with the show. Here's the update:

I just finished the pack of 30-plus pills, that are supposed to help with PMS. I have to say they weren't too bad really. I had no sore bits, no mood swings etc and in fact the only time I had even an inkling it was about to show up, was the day before. That's when I felt a bit weepy and low. So, all in all, bit of a win there ladies. But, I'm going to give them a break for a month....I have a feeling they were interfering with the Tegretol I take for epilepsy...I've had more than my usual share of episodes the past month. If it makes no difference then I'll be back at the doc, if it makes a difference then the 30-plus tablets are gonna have to go and you my dears, will need to brace yourselves once again for the whinging.

The boys are doing well for the most part. In less than 3 weeks they'll be in the throes of sitting senior exams. Level 2 for Cameron, Level 1 for Ryan. I can feel the fun and games coming on as I type. Cameron is at the point now where he has had enough of school. Although he's talking about attending University, I think he's starting to wonder if he can be bothered going through yet another year (2007) before he gets there. Personally I think he'll stick it out because it's something he really wants to do. This morning he actually said "I need to get to Dad's to do some drumming." This made two thoughts whizz through my head..."Oh, poor baby's missing his drumkit"...and..."Hm, he must have a performance coming up soon that he's not telling me about."

Ryan on the other hand is very laid back and was over school well and truly before he started at the age of 5 lol. I worry that he'll be redoing this year come 2007. My heart aches for this kid, he worries alot about the fact he still doesn't know what he wants to do for work yet. Both quite deep thinkers, yet in such different ways. Cameron talks about his fears with me, using me as a sounding board, openly discussing what he feels he should do. Ryan keeps his locked inside and goes about life pretending nothing bothers him. It's not until after he's done what's required will it come out how he felt. He plays his acoustic guitar on a daily basis, the electric one is at his Dad's at the moment...it was getting a drag moving it back and forth between houses, and with it over there, he can jam with his brother.

The dread of them growing up is weighing heavily on my mind....the older they get, the closer they are to leaving home. It's something I'll deal with when I have to of course, but the thought of it almost makes me ill. When that day comes, trust me, I just know it aint gonna be pretty. Picture red swollen eyes, crying so much it's a struggle to breathe and continuous rocking in the corner. That'll be the moving truck driver that dares to try removing my babies from their mother's arms. Just kidding...not really. I'm gonna have to be smiling and supporting the latest level of their independence. In reality I'll want to be throwing my body down a black hole in the atmosphere, screaming "Noooooooooooo!!" *sigh*

My tenants (last January) are pregnant, and have also just moved out to a larger place. I can understand the need to be settled in a bigger home once their first addition comes along, so no worries there. The problem I now have of course, is to find new tenants, and with all the pissing about I've done recently, I've only just advertised this week. Hopefully I'll get someone who's happy to stay there long term. I've also made the decision to stop being such a pushover. I'm gonna put my big bad ass panties on and make sure they abide by MY terms and conditions.

Uh...what else?....

Oh...do you remember me writing this story in March about the fire I saw on the opposite hill late at night? A couple of months ago I received an email from the chap in the photo on that post. He'd been googling his own name and came across what I'd written. Sent me an email to say how much he appreciated the support I showed to the fire service. That was very cool to get I must say. Hear that people?? I had contact with a real live fireman...Whoot! Unfortunately he didn't offer to come round with the rest of them in tow. Ah well, can't have my fantasies come to life now can I? What the hell would I fantasise about after that??

I realise I still haven't answered some questions that you've asked me from several weeks ago. I haven't forgotten, I've just been a bag at getting round to responding to them. I suspect by now you've forgotten you asked them anyway lol But I will answer them.

The elliptical in my lounge is not getting used every day, but it is definitely being used on a regular basis. It's not being strewn with laundry, it's still being used for it's intended purpose. Oh, and it doesn't strike the fear of God in me it once did lol. My MP3 player is not working so well for some reason - I need to get it attended to....I like the music in my ears, it motivates the rest of my body to move. Anyway, it's a work in progress, and Hips Don't Lie (Shakira, Shakira...lord if I wasn't straight...oh never mind).

My sister wants me and my mate to go back to the Orchard shortly to help sort her garden out. Considering the size of her garden there's a possibility I may never come home lol. My brother, his fiance and the delicious Lyla (11 months) are flying over from Oz for Christmas and my parents are flying up from the South Island. So, for the first time in over 3 years my family will finally be all together again in one place. I can't tell you all how good that's gonna feel. I am SO looking forward to it! Feel free to call me "Daddy's Girl"...I AM, and I don't care who the hell knows it, so there lol.

I'm done.

Happy Days everyone! Now go out there and behave yourselves...if you can't then we want pics ok? Ta.
Monday, October 16, 2006

News Flash

Years ago when I was doing an amazingly good impersonation of a skanky ho, I met up with a chap and one thing led to another and into the bedroom we went. There were boxes of special sound equipment stacked up in two corners...a pile of newspapers in another...a corner filled with what could only have been dirty laundry, and the bed was a single mattress on the floor in the centre of the room.

Before I stepped foot into this man's house I wondered what the hell I was doing. That was my conscience speaking. The whole place stunk of the fish he'd cooked the night before...it happens, I chose to get over that. The kitchen was filthy, dishes stacked on the bench, spilling over into the sink. I chose to be blind to that.

He was a tall, good looking, son of a bitch, I was horny and ready to jump his bones...so the shallow skanky part of my mind told me loudly that's all I needed to focus on...although his hygiene or possible lack of it, was now taking up a large part of my thoughts. Fortunately for me, he smelled good and felt clean. I suspect that he hoped he might be 'in' at some stage, and had the decency to shower before leaving home.

Long story cut short...onto the bed we go...clothes are being shed...there's panting and groaning, heaving bosom stuff an' all that...rah rah, go skank go! He then gets off the mattress, comes back across the room to me as he's unfolding a newspaper and says...

"Lift up?"
"Eh?"
"Lift up your bum for a sec?"
"Uh, why?..."
"I just want to put this...
"What are you doing??"
"...under you, so you don't get any on the bed."

My libido soared out the dirty window.

*spitting now*

HE would rather have had MY arse imprinted with yesterday's headlines, than let any er, well that other stuff, touch his precious fucking mattress! He needn't have worried...my pussy had a miraculous change of heart and became the Sahara Desert.

Trying to be polite, I looked at the only thing that had survived the mad rush of getting naked as quickly as possible. "Oh...I didn't realise how late it was" (*snort*)..."I really must get going....If you don't mind, could you drop me back at my car now please?" After a small debate as to whether I should leave or not, he finally conceded defeat and dropped me off at the car. Which means I drove home...which also means I was sober. See? I didn't have to be pissed to the gills to act stupidly, I just went around doing it automatically.

God, when I think back to those few months in my life it makes me shudder. I appeared to be forever putting myself into dumb and dangerous situations, deliberately. I was on some kinda kami-kaze fuck fest I think. Anything I felt was the opposite to what others knew me to be on the outside...the rebel in me strutted forward with a vengeance. In the process of doing so, the only thing I proved, was what a complete and utter idiot I was.

I didn't look like a skank...you know what I mean...I see girls out there these days wearing something resembling tiny hankerchiefs that would only serve as an eye patch for me. I still behaved properly so to speak and dressed accordingly...until noone was looking, then I turned into a naughty, empty-headed replica of myself.

This post has been brought on by a conversation I had with one of my best friends over the phone yesterday. I was hooting with laughter at an embarrassing predicament she found herself in last week (and she wasn't even naked, what's up with that??)...and she came back at me with..."Well, at least there wasn't a newspaper involved."

*choke, sputter* "Bitch" *sputter, choke*

This is not the first time she's hurled those words at me over the years. I always end up gasping and turning bright red with the memory. The desired outcome is to shut me the hell up. So...now that the whole friggin' world is aware of the newspaper incident, can we forget the whole damn thing ever happened??...enough is enough...let's put it to rest now...go on, there's a good mate....Please?!

Besides, you know I got just as much juice on you lol
(and don't ya'll be taking that the wrong way!)
Sunday, October 15, 2006

Giving Credit Where Credit is Due

I've been getting quite an education recently when it comes to music from the past. A friend of mine, has a major love and respect for Ian "Lemmy" Kilmister and anything to do with Motorhead.

My friend is a musician. He's a bass player. He's been gigging for almost 28 years of his life. He's no longer gigging full time or touring and considering he's now 50 (apologies to Stones fans lol) he's thinking it could be time to retire from the rock scene.

From very early on in his career and prior to it, he has had a love for just about anything that Motorhead have come out with. Not so much the later stuff, but when the band were in their original state. In my opinion, they're to be admired purely for managing to make so much noise for just three people lol.

Motorhead being unpretentious rock with no bells and whistles, was spot on for him. In his younger days he studied them...and as his music career unfolded he imitated some of what he saw (smashing guitars and pushing over drumkits not included lol). He copied the way Lemmy stood at the microphone...mic up, head back while he sang...he copied the way Lemmy played the bass, removing his fingers off the boards completely, instead of dragging them up and down his beloved Rickenbacker.

Saying that, over the course of time, he eventually found his own niche and style, but still, possibly out of habit or comfort (he's 6'4"), holds his head the same way and plays the bass in a similar fashion.

Several years ago one of his friend's sons, started learning to play the bass. He was 13 years old. Occasionally, when my friend had time, he would give this young teen lessons and various tips. Being one to always encourage youngsters to find their music within, he was thrilled to be able to help out.

The young teen continued through the years, mimicking my friend in various ways...he's played at several school concerts and has a love of the bass far beyond that of my friend. He holds that instrument any time he can...practising and playing it as much as possible. He's now 18...and by all accounts he's pretty damn good.

A few months ago he got to play in his first official gig...my friend sitting in the wings watching as the young man filled his usual spot. To say he felt like bursting with pride would've been an understatement. The young man would continually look over at his mentor to make sure he was doing ok.

It seems to me, that this young man views my friend as his Lemmy, in his own way. He tried to imitate him as much as possible and I daresay he'll continue to do so, until he finds his own special groove to settle into.

Is there someone in your life now or in the past, that you replicate? Have you followed in the footsteps of another person because you admire and aspire to be like them, putting your own special spin on your technique or whatever? It can be anyone, family, friend, whoever...in any field, work or play.

Do you have a "Lemmy"?
Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Sinulator - Sexing It Up On The Net

Last week Dr Andrew at To Love Honor and Dismay asked his faithful readers about Weapons of Mass Seduction (how clever are those names??). He linked this article from the CBC news website and asked his readers for their thoughts. I read...tried to write a comment...went back and read again...had a think...tried to write another comment....and found I'd basically written an essay before hitting publish. Eventually, I chose not to post it, but to bring it here for you to have a chance to give your thoughts on it, and perhaps contribute to the good doctor's site yourself.

It's certainly an interesting article to read. I can see the merits of this Sinulator thing being used by those away from their loved ones for long lengths of time. I guess one of the main issues is the use of imagination coupled with the 'mechanical' stimulation and whether it works for both parties.

I won't deny I'm pro-phone-internet-sex from way back...what would be the point anyway? most of my regulars are more than aware of that fact lol. My previous relationships have called for it. You can't have genuine feelings for someone across the other side of the world and not end up getting frustrated or even slightly depressed, that there's no physical touching because they're so far away.

The idea appeals to me in some ways for the troops out there in other countries being able to keep in touch with their loved ones. It helps partners remind each other of how important they are, how much they love and want each other...that's gotta be good for morale on both sides of the globe I reckon. I suspect time zones and availability could cause some major problems. And then there's the distraction...is it better to show your support by actively participating in the desire in this way? or better to show support in other ways and leaving them to get on with protecting themselves and their countries?

We can satisfy ourselves, but is it not a more intimate and loving experience if that special someone is involved in the only way that may be possible at the time? Personal experience has me knowing it alleviates the stress of seperation and relieves the sexual ache you feel for that person.

You can send them an email or a text to tell them how much you want to $#@ their brains out right now, but cold words on a screen is way down the list compared to hearing the warmth and reaction of their voice via the phoneline. I've often been annoyed over the years for not having more pairs of hands involved lol, but it is what it is...and you make do in as many ways you can.

Saying that, the Sinulator is a bit 'out there' for me. One of the aspects of the article I found difficult to get my head round was the bit about people going on that website and searching for others that have the handheld device...then requesting permission to control it. To me, they're strangers looking to get their rocks off. If I had one, it would hardly be put to use with any Tom, Dick or Harry. My view?...it's akin to parking up in a bar waiting to hook up for the night. But even in that scenario you'd have a warm body to hold. Mind you, at least you wouldn't have to leave the comfort of your own home to get laid lol.

Different strokes for different folks an' all that I guess....I can see it being a bit of fun to lark about with, with your regular lover/partner, and I can see some people using it as a means to an ends to stimulate an otherwise sexless single life (not a word from any of you)...but it aint something I'd be interested in. Maybe some lovely anonymous person out there that's already used it could fill us in on their experience??

Your thoughts? Someone? Anyone?
Monday, October 09, 2006

I've Learned...

...when you have a keyring that states "Food has replaced sex in my life so I can't even get into my own pants", you better make sure you always know where your keys are;

...that collecting said keys from the coffee shop amid the chuckles of the kitchen staff does not a proud woman make;

...that at cruicial moments Bob can and will die without warning (@#$%$!);

...CPR is not an option in such circumstances...when Bob's dead, Bob's dead;

...saying I always wake around 6am regardless of what time I go to bed...and then waking up on Sunday morning at 10am, proves once again I'm full of shit;

...I can't drink and stay out late now without being slow and uncoordinated the following day;

...that when I actually wake with a hangover, it's always to a gloriously sunny day after stormy weather all week and I have heaps of washing to do....unfortunately, just moving my eyeballs involves major effort;

...that when I'm feeling out of sorts and a little down, I can receive a call on my cellphone that helps me laugh and feel better for the rest of the day;

...if you bite your tongue for a few hours and don't fight back when you would rather yell in frustration...occasionally others will swallow their pride and apologise;

...the fastest way to get either of my sons out of my bedroom is to tell them I'm about to get naked;

...when I'm in the shower singing, I suddenly hear the loud bass beat from my son's stereo vibrate through the wall cos he's turned it up to drown me out;

...that some people never like to give straight answers:

"Are you going to be home around lunchtime? "
"Oh! Are you coming to Wellington today?"
"I might be."
"Then I might be home at lunchtime."
"Cool...do you and the boys eat eggs?"
"Have you got chickens now?"
"Maybe."

and I've learned that just when I think I can relax and start catching up on my blogroll, the smell of something burning comes from the kitchen...thus resulting in a meal without potatoes and a pot soaking in the sink.
Saturday, October 07, 2006

Reality Check

*ring ring*

"I'm stuck in fucking traffic...some fucker's gone and had a fucking accident and I don't think I'll be able to make it for lunch...bastard!"
"I'm sure they didn't do it on purpose, don't worry about it, we can catch up again next time you're down"
"Yeah but fuck...this is very fucking annoying and I..."
"Steve! Stop winding yourself up, just wait it out...it won't take forever you know."

My mate Steve lives almost 3 hours drive away from me. We don't get to see each other often but catch up with the occasional phone call. Let me tell you very briefly how I met Steve. I ran into him on one of those late night chat phone lines. I wrote about this some time ago...so I'm not going into the details of that now, nor justifying what the hell I was doing ringing one of those things in the first place. It is what it is (or more importantly, was). I can't possibly regret that chapter of my life, I made two very firm friends from talking well into the night on that thing, and as some of you know, I met a wonderful lady who later gave me the honour of being godmother to her youngest son.

Anyway, back to Steve. We started talking over the phone off and on, keeping each other company late at night....babbling about anything and everything, filling each other in on what was (or wasn't) happening in our lives...as time went on I put him on my list of good friends. I eventually met him in person almost two years after I started talking with him. When I got my current job of medical receptionist, we didn't actually talk about which suburb I was working in until several months later. It turned out Steve's much loved godmother had worked (and still did at the time) in the local pharmacy that we dealt with on a daily basis. I had already warmed to this lady well before I knew of my other 'connection' to her. She looked like a little china doll....porcelain skin, always impeccably groomed....always friendly with a ready smile for anyone. She's also one of our patients at the surgery.

Eventually I told her I knew her godson. She was fascinated by the coincidence and asked me a couple of times how I met him. I told her I met him through a mutual friend, and although that really wasn't entirely the truth, I justified it by thinking "well that chat line was there when I needed it, like a friend", no need for me to get too pedantic about the situation. The first thing Steve asked me when I told him she was enquiring was "What did you tell her??!" lol Slight panic stations all round but we thought it best to keep it at the mutual friend thing.

Over the years her and I have managed to keep track of Steve via each other. If she'd heard from him she'd say and vice versa. Although I did have a couple of slightly awkward conversations, with her "I worry about him sometimes, he's such a good man....he needs a good woman...he needs YOU Lisa". I always managed to laugh my way out of that by telling her "No he doesn't and besides I'm not that good." lol

In the past 18 months I have watched this delightful 63 year old lady deteriorate. Many years ago she contracted breast cancer....she fought it, had a mastectomy and went into remission for at least 6 years. While overseas in England, and after ending up in hospital because of back pain, it was discovered that cancer had struck again - this time it was in her spine. Despite chemotherapy, radiation therapy and anything else you can think of to kill those cells off, she's now riddled with it. Her husband (and what a fabulous man he is) has told me that he's so busy caring for her that he's been unable to ring friends and family to keep them up to date with her health. If they ring, then he'll let them know but it's not always possible for him to be ringing everyone especially when changes happen on a daily basis. He's also given me permission to discuss her progress with Steve, and after speaking with her doctor, I've done this from time to time.

Two weeks ago, I rang Steve to tell him that his godmother was coming out of the hospice...her husband had recently received a special bed for her at home and that, if he (Steve) was able to get down here, now would be a good time for him to come to Wellington. Steve obviously has to pick the right day to visit her. As many of you will know, cancer patients go through horrendous ups and downs with this debilitating disease, they have good/bad days and then REALLY bad days....it's not possible to forecast a day as being either good or bad. It's whatever way it is when the dawn strikes that morning.

Last Sunday the timing was right...she was having a good day and Steve made his way down to see her. They set a time of 1.30pm for after she'd had lunch and done all the medical bits and bobs that needed doing before he got there. He came here for lunch first and I opened the slider to hear "It was only fucking roadworks". I've never heard him swear so much in such a short space of time, but given the situation I could fully understand his frustration with the thought of not getting to the city faster. Lunch with me was besides the point...he could have lunch with me almost anytime, no sweat....but he has precious little time left to see her.

This gutsy lady has fought against her illness and fought hard...she still refuses to give up and let it take her. With all the different procedures that are known to help, and some that aren't so widely known, she's completely run herself through the mill and is still managing to come out the other side with a strength and attitude that is not always seen in these circumstances. Her husband has walked alongside her every step of this gruelling journey and is doing his utmost to make her as comfortable and happy as possible. I have a huge amount of respect and admiration for them both.

Steve rang me as he was driving back up north to say she really was having a good day, she was in fine spirits and so happy to see him he felt like weeping. From the information the doctor has given me, I daresay it won't be long before we'll be standing side by side doing that together. Life can be so utterly unfair at times....we can bitch and moan about what's happening or not happening in our lives, and then get knocked sober by the struggle that others go through with theirs.

It can certainly put things into perspective and gives us a wider view of reality don't you think?
Monday, October 02, 2006

It's Bitchin'

The mist is so thick outside, it's practically like walking through clouds. I love this kind of day, but only if I don't have to go out in it. It means a frizzy hair day for me. My hair hardly needs any extra help to piss me off. Thanks Mother Nature!

At work there were only ugly biscuits available for morning tea. These biscuits consist of anything that's basically good for us. If you like bran, wheatmeal or anything that resembles kibble stuck in your teeth, then yay for you...but nay for me...those are definitely crap ass goods.

The parcel I sent over to the UK has still not arrived. Barnaby Bear should be safely in the clutches of Jo (and her previous class!)...accompanied by the Bloggers' Journal and other goodies for Jo (and her previous class!). I posted it on the 6th of June. I don't know who's responsible for this, the NZ Post, or the UK Post...I just know I was the last one to touch it..the pressure of that alone has been getting to me. We're about to hit the 4 month mark Mr Postman! WTF??!

Our clocks were switched forward this weekend. While I was trying to drag my arse out of bed this morning, my eyeballs knew it was 6am, yet my body rebelled and screamed in protest that it was only friggin' 5am! And how does my computer know this automatically??

Anyway, enough bitching for now...onto some happy happy joy joy news. Tomorrow (Oct 3) marks the birthday of a fellow New Zealander and blogger friend...Dan. He's turning the grand age of *mumble mumble mumble* and it would be lovely if you could go and wish him a terrific day. Considering the age he's about to hit, may I suggest you hasten your steps on over to The Kiwi House? you know...just in case.

10 4 rubber duckies...over and out