Because I can ...

I went into New Zealand's most popular dating site yesterday morning. I was sitting here staring at the screen, trying to find a subject to blog about and figured I might find something on the messageboards/forum in there. What a waste of time that was lol. But, it got me thinking about what people want or more to the point, what they ask for. I went through some profiles, both men and women...some are pretty basic. They're lonely, want to share their time with that special someone, want friendship first and see where it goes kinda thing. Others are more specific...my God, the wants and needs of some of the nation are enough to make me pack up house and move to a shack amongst swamp land. My thoughts turned to expectations. What we expect from each other as life partners, the expectations of friends, or the possibility of moving friendships to the next level. Do we make it clear at the beginning what we expect? I'd have to say in my opinion, we don't. Of course we can b

You know how sometimes you leave the house wearing something you're not sure you should be wearing? You wonder if you may end up feeling uncomfortable with others seeing you in what you've got on? Could be the colour's not something you'd usually wear, or the style is different etc. Or that it's just not comfortable to wear full stop, the material's scratchy or not sitting right on your body or whatever? And you know how sometimes that drives you back inside to the closet to make a last minute change? AND...you know how sometimes you throw clothes on, quick scan in the mirror and then leave the house without much thought about it? Long as it's tidy, not offensive and your skirt's not caught in the back of your knickers, you're good to go kinda thing. The latter is what I do most of the time, unless I've got some special big night out (I do have them occasionally you know), I don't primp and preen much when it comes to what I'm wearing. I

I leave you lot alone for a while and look what happens! Sheesh. Bickering in my comments below like that, shame on you. While Monica and Leilani are busy deciding who gets to be the flirty skirty with Craig at the pub.... Jo and Fizzy are trying to throw their weirdness on each other. And Dan? Well, who the hell knows what Dan's up to?? Methinks he's forgotten to take his medication. Course you can't remind him of that, he could start frothing at the mouth at this rate...best to throw the water bottle and pills in his general direction and run, baby, run! Well done to Anne for admitting she IS the patooty checker-outter! That's set in concrete now (or on film anyway). *takes deep cleansing breath, smooths down hair* Right, let's get on with this jimble jamble before I get myself organised and actually write something that flows properly lol As I mentioned in the comments of the post below, I'm either going to have to add more kiwi bloggers to my b

Firstly, that last post was pretty crappy. A small conversation between two people that should never have gone public...who knew?? I did, well I certainly do now and should've known better than to put up such a subject, regardless of the funny side of my chat with Steve. At the time I thought it wouldn't be so bad....then I had to respond to the comments....that was kinda yukky. In fact it was MORE than yukky, it felt putrid...I felt like I needed to get off my chair and jump up and down to shake off the whole ghastly feeling. What on earth possessed me??! Nuff of that. Moving right along....let's get onto some positive warm fuzzy stuff eh? What do you mean NO??! Well I say, yeah...my blog, an' all that...you lose. Now for some rather cool news. I met another blogger today... in..the...flesh . That's right, I did indeedy do. (wtf is that? no matter, it's there now haha.) Yep...today I met Kassi of Kassi's Kingdom . In fact I not only met Kass, but also her M

Steve rang last night. Hell that man makes me laugh, shame neither of us are interested in each other that way. I do love my relationship with him, we can talk about anything and everything and there is no awkwardness between us. Good company, lots of laughs and a comfortable catch up on what we've been doing. Last time I spoke with him was on Christmas Day when I was trying to convince him to come to the orchard and join my family for dinner. He'd been working nightshift on the tankers and was going to be alone on Christmas Day. I hated the thought of that. He didn't come, he chose to sleep instead...bastard! lol. As we were talking last night, it suddenly occured to me...What if something happens to him? You know, hospitalisation or worse? Who was going to tell me? I don't know any of his family, besides his Godmother, and regardless of how boxy and strong she is, her health is deteriorating. (I spoke with her the other day, she sounds in good spirits but terribly f

I'm feeling a little flat tonight. It was a long afternoon at work, a horrible mess trying to reconcile the banking (it actually wasn't my fault this time lol), which meant I had to stay longer until it all balanced. I then came home to find the results for the NCEA exams had arrived in the letterbox. Or more to the point that they'd arrived and Ryan didn't pass. I had a feeling it was going to happen, he was hardly on target to pass, he'd been messing around at school last year, didn't bother putting in the effort (no trips to the Principal's office last year, so that at least was a positive thing). I believe from his point of view, he had better things to focus on...his education not being one of them. I haven't said anything to him but I know he feels my disappointment. Quite frankly, I feel like yelling "I told you, didn't I??!" But I won't, and only because I think he feels crappy enough already. I feel like being nasty a

Leilani of "The Pursuit of Meaning" and I had an MSN conversation yesterday. As Monica of "This Womans Journey" has mentioned on her previous blog, Leilani is one of the most intelligent and educated women we know. She's not so up to scratch when it comes to I.T. stuff though and she's the first to admit it. This hit me between the eyes yesterday, when she said she could hear me on voice chat then asked if could I hear her yet. Alas, I could not hear her. I asked if her microphone was switched on or plugged in properly, and she answered with "Oh, you mean I need a bloody mic?" lol Despite this hiccup we continued with our chat. Me talking on the headset and her typing. The woman types at the speed of light anyway, so it wasn't a problem. It was such a pleasure to talk with her...one on one...not having to wait for comments to be answered or refreshing Outlook for a response. The IM responses came at me like bullets at times lol. I

So much for me posting 2 days in a row...was feeling rather impressed with myself for a moment...thought I was on a roll. A very short one obviously lol. I went and picked up the belt/strap for my weedeater today, it didn't come with one, and considering my back was complaining so badly, I figured it could only help. You know when you're body starts giving off signs of you getting older? I don't necessarily mean the gravity thing, we've been there and discussed that plenty on here. No, I don't mean that (although I still hate that word with the passion of a thousand rabbits shagging), I'm talking about the grunting and groaning of muscles, the creaking and cracking of bones etc. Yeah those real nasty kinda sounds. The other day I bent over to pick something off the floor outside Cameron's bedroom door....standing up I emitted a small grunt....I GRUNTED for fuck sake! I was mortified and Cameron came rushing out of his room when he heard my horrified gasp.

My lawn man of 7 years (7 years !) dumped my lawn's ass about 5 weeks ago. Yep, he was downsizing and decided that although I was one of his very first customers, I was just too far out of the 'zone' for him to continue. Does loyalty not count for anything anymore? Sheesh. More evidence of the 7 year itch? Perhaps it's just too gardenly for his tool to handle?? (That's a crock of shit, there's bugger all of it lol). *Standing in the hardware store, holding petrol driven weed whacker* Me: "What do you think? This one seems ok eh?" *starts playing air guitar against it singing Green, Green Grass of Home* Cameron: *rolls eyes* "I guess." Me: "Some enthusiasm would be nice dear." Cam: "We're talking manual labour Mum....enthusiasm is not an option here." Me: "There are three able bodied people in our house, we can share it, besides it has to be done. Right, I need gumboots, new gardening gloves etc." *Picking

Spent Xmas Day with my family at the Orchard. Was wonderful to see everyone again and all together in one place. Stayed ONE night in the tent. Due to Ryan being ill on Christmas Eve, and seemingly ok on Christmas Day, we continued with the original plan and tented that night. Wouldn't you know it? At 2.30am I was standing outside in the rain holding a torch, while he was parked up on the outside loo. Not only did I get saturated doing that, I had to first go into the loo to remove a spider before he'd enter it again. Incidentally Cameron was the only one who had a decent night's sleep in the tent...although he did say the next day it would've been better if we were not having a conversation over the top of him at 3am. (I really must remember to plan the bed layouts better next time *snort*). Anne turned up at the tent 'door' around 9 to complain that I was still in bed and I threw a box of moccachino at her. By the time I put my feet into gumboots and st

Life is rocking on by at a great rate of knots and I'm trying hard to hang on to it's coat tails....there are times when I would willingly let go and come to a grinding stop. Other times I'm so eager, I rush forward trying to overtake it. If I could only find a lovely balance between the two, I'd be able to cope with all manner of feelings and emotions that run my thoughts at certain times. The past 12 months have been interesting to say the least, and like many years, it's had it's fair share of ups and downs. I've said goodbye to people, said hello again to others from my past, only to say goodbye to them several months later. People come and go in our lives....saying it that way makes it sound so much easier than it actually is of course. In reality we have to deal with the emotional roller coaster of them leaving. What's left from those times are snapshots of memories. Memories of good feelings and touches, pictures of scenes that click in an