Because I can ...

...the tough get going. Or...they lay down, pull the blankets over their heads and scream into their pillows. I went along to the doctor's office this morning....got weighed and found out I hadn't lost anything. That's not actually true....I lost 300 grams. And that was after watching what I've been eating and exercising every day (minus 3 days) for the past three weeks. 300 stinkin' grams . That could be anything....water....the t-shirt I was wearing...hell, it could've just been the way I was looking at the damn scale... Bastard! Before we start discussing that exercising will turn fat into muscle, and muscle weighs heavier than fat blah blah blah stuff....I have to tell you...for me? it's about the numbers. Which is basically why I've almost made a career out of avoiding the scales. The moment I see there's been no change, or that the change is less than the weight of a grapefruit (I doubt that's true but it sounded good to me lol)....I

My ex husband has been playing around with some wires and tiny vibrating bits of metal etc....he's come up with something he feels will take the sex toy industry in New Zealand by storm (well maybe not...but he's feeling rather impressed with himself anyway lol). It's a buzzy bra...not to be confused with a Buzzy Bee . I think he calls it the Bizarre Bra. A bra that has small vibrating parts set in the cups for the nipples. Guess this is what's on the mind of some men when they're single and have so much free time on their hands eh? I took a friend of mine (and an ex colleague of his) down to his company to pick something up, and we stopped in for coffee and to annoy him (it's becoming one of our favourite past times lol). "Here"...he thrusts a tangle of wires and bits towards me..."try this out...put it in place and push the button" I pushed the button while holding the contacts and felt the vibration in my hands. "Yeah ok, that's

N - New . New man in my life (well, an old man, but new beginning). New body (to come haha), new highlights (refer H below), and generally a new outlook on life. O - Obliterate . What I want to do with any negative vibes I sometimes feel regarding past issues or present circumstances. Am looking at acquiring an Oozy or a bazOooka to achieve this. P - Pajamas . Pink fleecy ones at that. And as Alice says "Pink PJs Rock!". And she's right, because with the cold down here in NZ right now, they've certainly earned their place in my bed at night. Q - Questions . Too many still floating around in my head. Some will never be answered, others will eventually be answered given some time. One that I've been known to ask a bit over the years is "Why is it, for someone SO intelligent, you can still do such dumbass stuff??" And saying that, I could easily be the receiver of that myself (except the "SO" intelligent bit lol) R - Respect . To respect others, h

Half a meme by any other name is still a meme. A - Aneurysm . Something I told my ex husband he may have...in the hope it would gently encourage him to get to the doctor lol B - Boobs . These tend to get in your face when you're drying your hair...they get sore at certain times of the month...gravity takes over them when you get older. Generally...they can be seen as a damn nuisance. C - Cry . This is what I do when I realise gravity REALLY has taken over my body parts. I do it while watching children I know and love perform on stage...sad movies, airport farewells, weddings, if my friends are hurting, if I'm hurting, etc etc. I'm good like that. D - Dillusional . Description of my mental state when I think my body is not so bad afterall (in comparison to, say, an 80 year old's). E - Excellence . Something that happens in other people's lives and I gave up striving toward years ago (refer B and D). F - Fossils . Nuff said. G - Generation Gap . Starting to become m

UPDATE: When I wrote this, I wasn't really in the right frame of mind, and missed out a little bit, and seeing as my mate Alice wrote it in the comments section, I decided to cut and paste it and add it below. Yeah I know, I'm being lazy, but it works for me! lol Thanks Al *wink* It's been a busy busy week. Cameron has been sick with the flu, and has in fact only spent half a day at school the entire week. He's been in bed most of this week, head pounding, body aching and basically just feeling miserable in general. Ryan appears to have succombed to it himself this morning, so today they are both home. Under these circumstances, it's been unfortunate because Cameron's been involved in the College Music Variety Show this week. If you include the dress rehearsal, it's been spread over 3 nights, Tues, Wed and Thursday. He was only playing two items, but it was enough to start a small panic going on behind the scenes for some. By Tuesday afternoon the phone cal

Now, about this too small jeans problem I have. I have finally found the motivation to do something about it. I've decided I'm not going to contact the supplier and request a switch for the right size...I am actually going to make my body fit into the jeans they sent. This is not going to involve a large glass ball, 50lbs of chains and several thousand litres of water (*snort* what a dork that guy is). No unfortunately there are no magic tricks to make this happen....no special use of mirrors etc...not even a shoe horn. I'm going to lose weight. Simple as that. How hard can it be? Bwahahahahaha! I just made a joke! Oh, never mind. I thought about this last week when I received the jeans, I hummed and hawwed about it and then realised that it would give me the incentive to lose some of the extra blubber I've been carrying around for so long. Short of having someone lock me in the dark for weeks on end and shoving rabbit food under the door, I didn't know wheth

Either my arse is shrinking, or my jeans are stretching. I know damn well my arse is not shrinking. I want it to...but no....I have learnt from vast personal experience over the years...arses do not shrink by willing them to. They will swell and expand in ways you never dreamed they could...and they appear to do this all on their own. But shrink? No. Scolding, yelling, throwing major tantrums, beating buttocks with a wooden plank....nope...not gonna happen. So, it would seem that just because I'm feeling good that my jeans are loosening up, it's only because the jeans themselves must be stretching. Who the hell has heard of jeans being loose on you when you take them straight out of a hot drier and thrust your legs into them?? It hardly seems fair does it? They've just been washed....they've been tumbling around in heat for over an hour...they should be a little difficult to get on. But no...they slide on easy peasy. Or, you can buy a cute funky black pair o

Listening to the radio yesterday, something caught my attention. They were talking about some of the embarrassing things people do when a relationship comes to an end. For example....requesting love songs at a function you're both attending and making it really obvious by announcing over the microphone who it's for and "I loooove you sho much and pleeeeease shay we can shtay together *sob*... I really doo loooove you shoooo mush *sniff*" kinda thing. Years ago, a boyfriend dumped me via email. His excuse was that he was having major problems with his ex wife. His son wanted to go and live with him, thus the ex was livid about losing her only son and was giving Dad a major rough time of it. Apparently. Anyway, I'm not one to just hang around when the weather's good, so I sent him back a lengthy email about how friends stick together and lend support at times like this, so take all the time he wanted...I'd wait til he got it sorted, and if he ever want

I had a lovely weekend. Drove up to Otaki (about 90 minutes out of Wellington) to stay with my sister and brother-in-law. Early that evening we were attending the 50th birthday bash of a neighbour up the street. This "up the street" was like 8km further into the hills, so more bush and trees to contend with. My BIL kept reminding us "He's a hobo, so we've got to be prepared". This chap has some land, but hasn't really done alot with it. Well actually, he'd only recently built a small house...which is better than the shed he was previously living in. There was no electricity, no running water, he cooked in the kitchen on a 3 burner gas BBQ....and there was not a lot of room on the section due to the rubbish and junk laying around. In fact, for his birthday, my BIL had 'gifted' him a toilet (he didn't have one until then, twas a hole in the ground, EEEK! ). Earlier that day, the talented BIL had gone and piped and plumbed in a loo..

I'm going up the coast at some stage this weekend, so I shall leave you with this. I wrote it mid January last year...and it proves the lengths that some of us will go to for the people we love on the other side of the world. Especially when we're trying to make up for something. When I originally posted this I didn't explain what "fanny" meant in New Zealand...apparently it means butt or bum in other parts of the world...but here and in England, it's a non-offensive term for um...well...pussy *blush*. *** This afternoon I spent some time in the bedroom trying to take a photo of my nether regions for England. My god, what a fiasco that was. I have to say here, I tried this a couple of nights ago, it was late, I had the flash setting on, and each picture I took looked like I had the sun shining out of me...so I gave up. I mean, I'm sure we'd all like to think we've a bright light shining out of us for someone right? and my ex husband always sai

Well kinda...ok, not really...but they are bits of my body...so I should be able to get away with that title. I had a pedicure on Sunday afternoon....I reckon it's the bestest thing in the world to do on a Sunday after church...cleanse the soul, cleanse the feet. And if I were to attend church more than the occasional wedding, that would stack up quite well. But as it is, I don't go to church...which isn't to say that my soul is dirty...although it does have dirty tendencies at times...oh dear...I am SO digressing here. Anyway ....I usually get a french polish done on my toe nails...it's cute, and kinda poncy, and I like that. This time around I went for just a normal polish. I figured, I don't wear open toed shoes so much in the winter, so noone's gonna see them. Except I went with such a funky sparkly colour that I found myself at work yesterday morning, pulling my shoe off and stretching the toe of my stocking tight so I could show it off to my work mates

Friday night a small group of us gathered at Alice's to play cards and have a few drinks. My ex-husband, his best mate T, Al's brother, and another good female friend of ours. Besides Alice's brother and our friend Brenda, the rest of us have been together in some way or other before (um..that doesn't sound quite right)...we've been around at my ex's new home, had a few drinks and laughs, usually the kids included. This was different...there were no teenagers in sight...just six adults....and a shit load of alcohol. Now I know where your minds may be going....6 adults - 3 men, 3 women....booze flowing freely....what's not to imagine? But alas, your minds are wrong.... (you dirty little beggars) ....and my fantasies were blown to smithereens. *sigh* In fact I left early....after a particularly trying shift at work that afternoon, I was knackered and out the door by 10.15pm wishing I had more stamina and that Cameron didn't need to be driven to work at 6a