Tuesday, May 30, 2006

When the Going Gets Tough...

...the tough get going.

Or...they lay down, pull the blankets over their heads and scream into their pillows.

I went along to the doctor's office this morning....got weighed and found out I hadn't lost anything. That's not actually true....I lost 300 grams. And that was after watching what I've been eating and exercising every day (minus 3 days) for the past three weeks. 300 stinkin' grams. That could be anything....water....the t-shirt I was wearing...hell, it could've just been the way I was looking at the damn scale...Bastard!

Before we start discussing that exercising will turn fat into muscle, and muscle weighs heavier than fat blah blah blah stuff....I have to tell you...for me? it's about the numbers. Which is basically why I've almost made a career out of avoiding the scales. The moment I see there's been no change, or that the change is less than the weight of a grapefruit (I doubt that's true but it sounded good to me lol)....I'm not happy.

Apparently, the fact that I haven't had a period (sorry men) for the past 5 months could have something to do with it. Lately I've been having PMS symptoms every couple of weeks (my poor children)...sore breasts, bloated, heavy stomach, mood swings...but no outcome (if you get my messy meaning). She took my waist measurement this time, so we have something else to keep tabs on...oh yay *sigh*

I'm going back to the doctor tomorrow morning to have a chat with him. The nurse today tried to get me to take a pregnancy test...hahahaha...THAT was too funny. Does she really think that I wouldn't know if I was almost 6 months pregnant?? I know it's happened to other women before...but believe me, I know my body well enough, I'd be aware for sure by now. I don't even want to think about the consequences and screw up that could make of my life at this point.

I want to give up, I want to wallow around in all my fat and get depressed and never eat another fruit or vegetable...and I don't want to get near that stupid exercise contraption again. In fact, I was tempted to push it off the balcony.

That's how I was feeling today.

So, tonight I haven't exercised....I had Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner...oh and I followed that up with 3 pieces of chocolate fudge for good measure. I'd like to say I feel great and my body is filled with energy because of it...but you'd all know I was lying, so what's the point?

I start afresh tomorrow. I can't wait! *sigh*
Saturday, May 27, 2006

Things Are A'Buzzin'

My ex husband has been playing around with some wires and tiny vibrating bits of metal etc....he's come up with something he feels will take the sex toy industry in New Zealand by storm (well maybe not...but he's feeling rather impressed with himself anyway lol).

It's a buzzy bra...not to be confused with a Buzzy Bee. I think he calls it the Bizarre Bra.

A bra that has small vibrating parts set in the cups for the nipples. Guess this is what's on the mind of some men when they're single and have so much free time on their hands eh?

I took a friend of mine (and an ex colleague of his) down to his company to pick something up, and we stopped in for coffee and to annoy him (it's becoming one of our favourite past times lol).

"Here"...he thrusts a tangle of wires and bits towards me..."try this out...put it in place and push the button"

I pushed the button while holding the contacts and felt the vibration in my hands.

"Yeah ok, that's cool...I'd use it lol"

"NoNoNo, you've got to put it in your bra and try it out properly"

"No I don't, I can tell by feeling the vibration in my hands whether I'd like it or not"

"Nah you can't...do it properly"

"No"

"Chicken"

"Look...I've been practically alone physically for 7 years, I know what I like or what I don't like when it comes to vibrating devices."

I gave him some constructive criticism....stuff like needing an on/off switch. No good if you have to have one hand on the button to keep it going. Us single women only have two hands you know....we can't have hands all over the place if we have to think about keeping a button pressed. If it had an on/off switch, our hands could be elsewhere doing other things you know? And perhaps a pulsing function would be a good idea....and bigger nipple contacts....a gruntier vibration would be good too etc.

After more accusations of me being too scared to do it properly, I caved.

"Oh for goodness sake....give the bloody thing here then!"

He hands it over again.

"I know you only want me to do this so you can see THAT look on my face again"

I inserted it under my shirt, placed the contacts on my nipples and thought "oh well, here goes then"....pressed the button...

buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz buzzz buzzz buzzzz buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(morse code sounded like a good idea at that moment lol)

I removed it and handed it back to him.

"So? Are you happy now?"

"Yep."...*smirk*..."And yeah, the look on your face WAS worth it"

"Oh shut up"
Thursday, May 25, 2006

Alphabetising Myself - Take Two

N - New. New man in my life (well, an old man, but new beginning). New body (to come haha), new highlights (refer H below), and generally a new outlook on life.

O - Obliterate. What I want to do with any negative vibes I sometimes feel regarding past issues or present circumstances. Am looking at acquiring an Oozy or a bazOooka to achieve this.

P - Pajamas. Pink fleecy ones at that. And as Alice says "Pink PJs Rock!". And she's right, because with the cold down here in NZ right now, they've certainly earned their place in my bed at night.

Q - Questions. Too many still floating around in my head. Some will never be answered, others will eventually be answered given some time. One that I've been known to ask a bit over the years is "Why is it, for someone SO intelligent, you can still do such dumbass stuff??" And saying that, I could easily be the receiver of that myself (except the "SO" intelligent bit lol)

R - Respect. To respect others, have them give me that respect and to respect myself. I think once we've got that firmly into perspective, we're halfway to learning the meaning of life...which is 42...just saying.

S - Statcounter. Someone is scrolling their way through my archives. And not just any archives but looking for HNT pics. Now, I only participated in HNT (Half-Nekkid-Thursday) about 3 or 4 times...that's hardly worth the effort of digging around in my past blog stuff.

So, it being a Thursday now, I'll save them the trouble...here's the first ever HNT pic I posted...and possibly the second largest argument I ever had with my ex boyfriend.



T - Toast. I raise my glass and toast all of you that have managed to read this far, considering I'm struggling to put the second half of the alphabet together. Bravo, and thank you *clink*

U - Uniforms. On policemen, firemen, army, navy, airforce, marines etc. I enjoy perving at all of them. No matter what height, size or shape, they all get my heart rate up!

V - Visualisation....and having a healthy (or quirky) imagination. This has helped me get through my past and present relationships. It keeps me going, thinking of how things could be when we do finally get together...and I now see it with a more realistic view...things don't always work out as we originally expect them to.

W - Whispers. In the dark...soft whispers of love...breathless words of passion spoken against his mouth....groaning with pleasure in his ear, as our bodies rock together in sync...um...yeah....whispers....moving right along then...

X - X-ray. (well? there aren't that many to chose from ya know??) Um...oh..how about x-ray vision? Very cool...especially when it involves those that fall under the category of U (see above).

Y - Yield. To give yourself up to someone else completely. I yearn to have that feeling again....to completely surrender myself, heart, body and soul, to that extra special someone who will cherish and respect what you're offering. Let's face it, it really isn't that easy to give yourself over to another person...the fear of what may or may not happen can get in the way.

Z - Zest...for life and love. Sometimes I have it, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I don't feel like putting out the energy, because there are definite times when I want to just sink into life and savour the comfort of what I DO know and not think about what I DON'T know. So I guess that could be seen as me not having any zest at all...oh dear lol.

****

Good heavens, that was difficult! Hope this half of the alphabet is not as hard for you to read, as it was for me to complete lol.

Hope you're all enjoying your Thursday!
Monday, May 22, 2006

Alphabetising Myself

Half a meme by any other name is still a meme.

A - Aneurysm. Something I told my ex husband he may have...in the hope it would gently encourage him to get to the doctor lol

B - Boobs. These tend to get in your face when you're drying your hair...they get sore at certain times of the month...gravity takes over them when you get older. Generally...they can be seen as a damn nuisance.

C - Cry. This is what I do when I realise gravity REALLY has taken over my body parts. I do it while watching children I know and love perform on stage...sad movies, airport farewells, weddings, if my friends are hurting, if I'm hurting, etc etc. I'm good like that.

D - Dillusional. Description of my mental state when I think my body is not so bad afterall (in comparison to, say, an 80 year old's).

E - Excellence. Something that happens in other people's lives and I gave up striving toward years ago (refer B and D).

F - Fossils. Nuff said.

G - Generation Gap. Starting to become more and more noticeable between myself and my teenage sons.

H - Hair. Cutting, dying, plucking, shaving or waxing. Waxing is something I doubt I'll ever end up doing...because then I'd have to move this down to S for Screaming and then up to C for Crying...and then probably back to H for Hitting.

I - Ironing. hahahaha, whatever. *snort*

J - Jogging *laughs even harder* Unless we're talking about jogging one's memory, this word has no business being in my vocabulary.

K - Kiss. Been a while since the last one...looking forward to the next. Whoot!

L - Late nights. Too many of these make me a difficult person to deal with. I get real crabby and can't function properly. I'm temperamental, argumentative and just pretty much an all round nice kinda person.

M - Mothership. Still waiting on this to suck me up into the "never never". Some days I'm desperate for this to happen and keep looking out the window in anticipation.

That's all for today class. The rest will have to come when I have the time, the energy and the inclination. Right now I have to go cook dinner for the wolves bashing around in the pantry.

So...any questions?

Have a good day, night...oh, just have a good everything!
Friday, May 19, 2006

Play It Again Cam

UPDATE: When I wrote this, I wasn't really in the right frame of mind, and missed out a little bit, and seeing as my mate Alice wrote it in the comments section, I decided to cut and paste it and add it below. Yeah I know, I'm being lazy, but it works for me! lol Thanks Al *wink*

It's been a busy busy week. Cameron has been sick with the flu, and has in fact only spent half a day at school the entire week. He's been in bed most of this week, head pounding, body aching and basically just feeling miserable in general. Ryan appears to have succombed to it himself this morning, so today they are both home.

Under these circumstances, it's been unfortunate because Cameron's been involved in the College Music Variety Show this week. If you include the dress rehearsal, it's been spread over 3 nights, Tues, Wed and Thursday. He was only playing two items, but it was enough to start a small panic going on behind the scenes for some. By Tuesday afternoon the phone calls started....students in the band he was drumming for were anxious he wouldn't be able to attend. Then the music teacher herself ringing to find out how he was and asking if he was up to performing.

He was loathe to let anyone down and I went along each night with the thought of dragging him home as soon as he'd finished his item. He was performing in the first part of the show, so I figured he wouldn't have to be out of the house long....it would be a relatively early night and he could get back to his bed. That was the theory anyway. As it was, I think his body was pumped along by the adrenalin of his performance and he managed to get through the rest of the night watching his peers perform their own items. And I'm so glad he was....because if we'd come home early I would've missed Alice's daughter performing in the third part.

Candice sang a duet with her friend called "His Eye is on the Sparrow"....they dedicated it to the young man (18) who took his own life a couple of months ago. These two young ladies gave me goosebumps, their voices blending together in striking harmony...rich and true of note. The audience were captivated...I know I certainly was...I was wiping away tears by the end of it. I couldn't have been prouder of her if she was my own. Candice doesn't sing very often in front of others, and I so wish she would, she has such a beautiful voice...it needs to be out there where the rest of us can enjoy it. Alice was sitting in the row behind me....I sat watching her gorgeous daughter thinking "I should be sitting beside your mum right now". And saying that, it's probably best I wasn't....I've a feeling we could've ended up a blubbering, swollen-eyed mess.

As for Cameron's drum duo...the stage curtain opened to the two of them sitting behind their respective drumkits. And they were off....nothing but drums....moving in time with the beat, their sticks becoming a blur. The rise and fall of the toms....the primal sound of skins being struck ricocheted from wall to wall of the hall...the deep thumping thud of the bass drums trembling in the stomachs of the audience. The boys occasionally looking at each other for changes...switching back and forth, using just about every sticking combination you could think of. It was a powerful and passionate performance....a crescendo of tattoo, back and forth building to explode in conclusion with the thunderous crash of symbols. Damn I love the sound of drums...can you tell? lol

UPDATE FROM ALICE: "... I knew Cam hadn't been well that week, and just before their number ended... Cam got up... raced across the stage and behind the curtains... I was sure he'd done the old "exit stage left..." to throw up... but his mate didn't look peturbed at all... kept drumming and then Cam bursts onto the stage again... leaps into the air (and he's a tall guy so it was a BIG leap) and crashes his sticks onto the symbols as a finale!!! (then throws his sticks across the stage... it was fantastic..."

Cameron appeared to enjoy performing more on Wednesday night than Thursday. Wed night he looked more relaxed...there were even smiles going on behind his drumkit...he was having a good time. Thursday before we left home, he was apprehensive as to whether he could do it again...his health combined with the late nights was dragging him down...he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep up, or whether his head was going to deal with the sound. He was sitting rather stiffly behind the kit last night, his head barely nodding in time, looking rather prim and proper sometimes but finished it out and felt that he'd done well anyway. Understandably I was very proud of him.

When we got home, he was discussing with Ryan (who spent most of the night in bed himself) the performance and how he was thinking of getting a band together. Something that he could kinda fall back on to release some tension by jamming in a laid back fashion. The two of them were coming up with various names of their peers, who could play what instrument, who could sing etc.

Me: "Look...to help you...*heavy sigh*...I'LL sing for your band honey."

*silence*

Cam: *clears throat* "Thanks Mum, and while I really appreciate the offer...that won't be necessary."

Me: "But think of all the experience I could bring...the young merging with the old and all that..."

Cam: "True..."

Me: *looks at him hopefully* "I could rattle a tambourine or something"

Cam: "Yes...you could...but...um...no."

I quite liked the idea of becoming a rock chick....but alas....it seems I'm destined to continue just being a groupie.
Monday, May 15, 2006

I'm Going Down

Now, about this too small jeans problem I have. I have finally found the motivation to do something about it.

I've decided I'm not going to contact the supplier and request a switch for the right size...I am actually going to make my body fit into the jeans they sent.

This is not going to involve a large glass ball, 50lbs of chains and several thousand litres of water (*snort* what a dork that guy is). No unfortunately there are no magic tricks to make this happen....no special use of mirrors etc...not even a shoe horn.

I'm going to lose weight. Simple as that.

How hard can it be? Bwahahahahaha! I just made a joke! Oh, never mind.

I thought about this last week when I received the jeans, I hummed and hawwed about it and then realised that it would give me the incentive to lose some of the extra blubber I've been carrying around for so long.

Short of having someone lock me in the dark for weeks on end and shoving rabbit food under the door, I didn't know whether I had the will power to carry it through...til now that is.

Ten words said to me over the weekend have given me the extra push. In amongst the hundreds of words he said, these 10 are the ones that had the most impact. In fact, they put the fear of God into me....the Obesity God that is.

"...I want to see you naked...soon...and I will..."

Eh? What? When?! Oh no!...*panic panic panic...scramble, bang, crash....hiffs chocolate wrappers out the window...kicks chippy bag under the desk...shoves fingers down throat (kidding!)*

Nah, I'm not body conscious hahahaha, I'm full of it tonight. Yeah ok...you got me, I am...I know I shouldn't be, but I am nonetheless because what I've been carrying around is unhealthy. Why I've chosen to do it at this time of year....when everyone is battening down for winter and cooking up all those thick creamy soups and hot stewy dishes...I.do.not.know. What a dork I am!

By the way...you may not see so much of me around in the coming months....that's because I'll be going to bed at 6pm each night...it's one of my new strategies. If I retire early for the evening...I'll be unaware there's a kitchen in my house. My next strategy involves a blindfold, my hands tied behind my back and Gene Pitney albums played very loudly over and over.

If all that fails, I'll have to bring out the no. 8 wire, a few hard-nosed ninjas and the space shuttle...or maybe just Martha Stewart. I really don't want to think about getting to that stage though *shudder*.

I'm sure I'll be fine. Besides, I'll be so busy choking on those 10 words nothing else will get down my throat.
Friday, May 12, 2006

Bummer

Either my arse is shrinking, or my jeans are stretching. I know damn well my arse is not shrinking. I want it to...but no....I have learnt from vast personal experience over the years...arses do not shrink by willing them to. They will swell and expand in ways you never dreamed they could...and they appear to do this all on their own. But shrink? No. Scolding, yelling, throwing major tantrums, beating buttocks with a wooden plank....nope...not gonna happen.

So, it would seem that just because I'm feeling good that my jeans are loosening up, it's only because the jeans themselves must be stretching. Who the hell has heard of jeans being loose on you when you take them straight out of a hot drier and thrust your legs into them?? It hardly seems fair does it? They've just been washed....they've been tumbling around in heat for over an hour...they should be a little difficult to get on. But no...they slide on easy peasy.

Or, you can buy a cute funky black pair off the net...sparkly pearly design thingy down half of one leg...make sure you have all the right measurements before you click "buy"....and wa la!, they're yours. Yay, Yay, Yaaaay, you can't wait for them to arrive!

The postie becomes a target. When he finally delivers the parcel he throws it in your general direction and runs...he's had enough of being stalked and harrassed. But you don't care...they're here!! Excitement is at an all time high. Your heart beating furiously, you rip open the packet, hold them up and exclaim "Wow, they're FABULOUS!!". You shove your legs into them and...

...discover they don't go anywhere near your arse!

Lying on the bed trying to zip them up with a coat hanger aint gonna help...especially when there's a good 5 inch gap between the zipper sides...bugger, Bugger, BUGGER!

Oh and another thing about arses - you can't suck them in. Try it...you'll find I'm right. We can flex 'em...show off all those lovely dimples...but you can't suck 'em in and make 'em smaller, or fit those funky jeans better. Do fat bottomed girls really make the rockin' world go 'round? I bet they have the manufacturers singing that song at the top of their LUNGS due to all the extra material they make us pay out.

Yep, today is a bad arse day.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006

How You Doin'?

Listening to the radio yesterday, something caught my attention.

They were talking about some of the embarrassing things people do when a relationship comes to an end. For example....requesting love songs at a function you're both attending and making it really obvious by announcing over the microphone who it's for and "I loooove you sho much and pleeeeease shay we can shtay together *sob*... I really doo loooove you shoooo mush *sniff*" kinda thing.

Years ago, a boyfriend dumped me via email. His excuse was that he was having major problems with his ex wife. His son wanted to go and live with him, thus the ex was livid about losing her only son and was giving Dad a major rough time of it. Apparently. Anyway, I'm not one to just hang around when the weather's good, so I sent him back a lengthy email about how friends stick together and lend support at times like this, so take all the time he wanted...I'd wait til he got it sorted, and if he ever wanted to talk, I was there for him...blah blah bloody wasted breath blah.

He never replied. Bastard! Why didn't he just say that it wasn't working and he didn't want to continue seeing me? Simple. I would've been upset, but you can't make something work if it's only one sided...so on with life you go. After several days of no response I realised I was being ignored (and I SO hate that)...yep, he'd done one of those emails...and the fact that he couldn't be honest about it pissed me off big time. Truth be told, my relationship with him was like pushing a large fridge/freezer up a steep hill...it was hard work...I'd put a lot of effort in...and he had the cheek to dump me?? Pah! Ah well, shit happens.

Years and years and years ago...My boyfriend (now ex-husband) left me. I was devastated and fell to pieces. A few days later my cousin kindly came and stayed the weekend with me...we went into town...I got so horribly hammered, I was falling all over her in the back of the cab bawling like a baby. We slept in the same bed that night...I sobbed myself to sleep. I woke the following morning to find him asleep on the couch...he'd come home to stay. Hey, maybe crying really does work? Just kidding...it doesn't...they hate it, so don't try it.

Anyway, my question to you is....have you ever done anything silly or crazy after a relationship has ended....in the hope of getting it back on track again? Maybe sending them your underwear in the mail, or stalking them all day and night waiting to be noticed? Maybe placing a small dead animal on their doorstep? (Not a good idea, then you'd have Stacy after you for sure lol.)

Besides a couple of drive-bys, I can't actually think of anything I've done in that respect that's noteworthy....but then maybe I've been so horrified with myself that I've blocked it from my memory, dunno, I'll have to think more on it.

So? Have you and if so, what'd you do? and furthermore...did it work??
Monday, May 08, 2006

Positives and Negatives

I had a lovely weekend. Drove up to Otaki (about 90 minutes out of Wellington) to stay with my sister and brother-in-law. Early that evening we were attending the 50th birthday bash of a neighbour up the street. This "up the street" was like 8km further into the hills, so more bush and trees to contend with.

My BIL kept reminding us "He's a hobo, so we've got to be prepared". This chap has some land, but hasn't really done alot with it. Well actually, he'd only recently built a small house...which is better than the shed he was previously living in. There was no electricity, no running water, he cooked in the kitchen on a 3 burner gas BBQ....and there was not a lot of room on the section due to the rubbish and junk laying around.

In fact, for his birthday, my BIL had 'gifted' him a toilet (he didn't have one until then, twas a hole in the ground, EEEK!). Earlier that day, the talented BIL had gone and piped and plumbed in a loo....the women REJOICED! The hobo put a glass door on the front of the toilet cubicle *sigh* The women took a friend (or a sister) to the loo to stand guard.

So...we set off wearing gumboots (wellies)...several layers of clothing to keep warm and stumbled up the dirt driveway in the dark...the strong stench of pot drifting down to meet us.

Lo and behold! The section had been cleared and there was a huge 'kick ass' bonfire going in the middle of it...the hobo had cleaned himself up, even had a shower...and there were makeshift wooden seats around the fire for guests. Was a fabulous setting.

The bonfire was being stoked by one man who continued to throw huge trunks of wood on it...thus emitting large showers of sparks upon anyone nearby. Which basically translates to "The three of us were constantly bashing at each others' clothing to avoid going up in flames".

Was an interesting time. I thoroughly enjoyed myself...I love sitting around and watching so many different types of people socialising. Was a unique experience....and by the time we arrived back home, my sister and I were feeling no pain. That was until my BIL brought out a bottle of "Absinthe".

If you've never heard of this stuff before, it's 85% alcohol. The moment it touched my top lip it was burning...I took a shot of it...just the one. But that was enough to have my sinuses cleared, my eyes watering, my ear drums burning and the lining in my stomach stripped. And although I had said yes to another glass of wine, I never drank it. I was too busy weaving my way across the back lawn looking for my bed.

Yes, I had a wonderful weekend...and yep, I was extremely slow come Sunday. Wasn't so bad really...my sister kept me company in that respect lol
Friday, May 05, 2006

Getting to the Bottom of Things

I'm going up the coast at some stage this weekend, so I shall leave you with this. I wrote it mid January last year...and it proves the lengths that some of us will go to for the people we love on the other side of the world. Especially when we're trying to make up for something. When I originally posted this I didn't explain what "fanny" meant in New Zealand...apparently it means butt or bum in other parts of the world...but here and in England, it's a non-offensive term for um...well...pussy *blush*.

***

This afternoon I spent some time in the bedroom trying to take a photo of my nether regions for England. My god, what a fiasco that was. I have to say here, I tried this a couple of nights ago, it was late, I had the flash setting on, and each picture I took looked like I had the sun shining out of me...so I gave up. I mean, I'm sure we'd all like to think we've a bright light shining out of us for someone right? and my ex husband always said I was sitting on the biggest gold mine there was, but it wasn't a true showing of what I really look like down there, so I deleted all those (thank goodness for the delete function on digital cameras).

Today however, I managed to get it sorted...natural light...no flash...just me.

Good Lord, have you even seen anything so hideously ugly before?? I'm not one for inspecting myself on a regular basis in the mirror in that position, and now that I've seen a close up of it, it's no bloody wonder!

Straight after seeing these pics, I go online and speak to one of my closest friends. I asked her what hers looked like when her hubby took pictures of it. Was it ugly? What colour was it? Did he like said pics? Question after question until she was asking her hubby what he thought and are there any out there he'd seen previously that he thought were hideous? Just exactly what constitutes an ugly fanny in the eyes of men?

He refused to answer most of them...he's been in this position before. We've drilled him on the likes of similar subjects....it made him nervous to be asked such questions again. So, she starts asking other men on her msn list, ones that she's known for a while and talked about everything with. One guy says "don't think I've ever seen an ugly one". That response made me feel better. Next guy says "well it's the shape of them...some look a bit beat up" Say what? What the hell does that mean?

So now, after all this nervous laughter and carry on with my friend and us hunting for the mystery of the ugly fanny, I still have these photos, protected and hidden within the tiny metal confines of my digital camera. And my brain starts fighting with itself.... "Will I ever get up the courage to send these?" (Course I will, I took them for that purpose right?)..."What if he hates them?" (Nah, surely not, it's me and he loves me, so he'll love them)..."What if it is indeed the ugliest fanny on the face of the earth?" (If he has the balls to say that, I shall fly over there, spare funds or no spare funds, and he will die a slow painful death).

Ok, think I've got this organised mentally for the time being.

****

And yes I did send them...and he loved them...despite them being so up close and personal (not to mention slightly out of focus), he could just about crawl right into it. Any man worth his weight in gold would know, you do NOT tell your partner that they have an ugly anything, let alone fanny...especially if they have plans to get somewhere near it physically in the future. That would just basically ensure they get something else in their face instead...like your foot.

***

In other news....I have received Walker's journal (thanks to the lovely Aims). I've had it for the past week and am wondering how I'm going to fill up two pages with my scrawly writing. I've decided I will take it up the coast on Saturday afternoon and write in it at my sister's orchard. Anyone that wants the Bloggers Journal, please give me a shout out in my comments section. But wait...there's more (sorry no steak knives)...

1. You have to be my on my blogroll;
2. You have to ask for it;
3. You only get one page to write on (front and back of course)
4. You can only get it once.

So far this journal has 6 entries in it...7 once I've done mine. It has travelled from the originator in Ottawa, Canada to Pittsburgh, USA, then onto Florida, USA...up to Cheshire, England...back to Canada, (Saskatoon)...then all the way back to Bristol, England. Course, now it's made it to Middle Earth (haha), New Zealand. So? Who wants it?

*Throws the journal behind her like a wedding bouquet*

"CATCH!"
Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Body Bits

Well kinda...ok, not really...but they are bits of my body...so I should be able to get away with that title.

I had a pedicure on Sunday afternoon....I reckon it's the bestest thing in the world to do on a Sunday after church...cleanse the soul, cleanse the feet. And if I were to attend church more than the occasional wedding, that would stack up quite well. But as it is, I don't go to church...which isn't to say that my soul is dirty...although it does have dirty tendencies at times...oh dear...I am SO digressing here.

Anyway....I usually get a french polish done on my toe nails...it's cute, and kinda poncy, and I like that. This time around I went for just a normal polish. I figured, I don't wear open toed shoes so much in the winter, so noone's gonna see them.

Except I went with such a funky sparkly colour that I found myself at work yesterday morning, pulling my shoe off and stretching the toe of my stocking tight so I could show it off to my work mates lol.



After seeing this pic, I'm wondering if I need to wax my toes...is it normal to have hairy toes like that? Unfortunately, waxing and I don't like each other much...it's a pain threshold thing...so the hair will have to stay.

In other news...I bought a new ring...another one I mean....it's a little difficult to show on here but I've tried anyway. I've managed to take a pic of both of my new rings, alongside the two others I wear. I wear my newest ring on the 'ring' finger of my right hand...it's a pretty setting, 3 diamonds down the centre, not that you can tell of course. The bonus - it was cheaper than the first one lol.



Right, that's enough for today...I hope to get the chance to catch up with you all and comment before I leave for work today. Have a good day/night!
Monday, May 01, 2006

E S P

Friday night a small group of us gathered at Alice's to play cards and have a few drinks. My ex-husband, his best mate T, Al's brother, and another good female friend of ours. Besides Alice's brother and our friend Brenda, the rest of us have been together in some way or other before (um..that doesn't sound quite right)...we've been around at my ex's new home, had a few drinks and laughs, usually the kids included.

This was different...there were no teenagers in sight...just six adults....and a shit load of alcohol. Now I know where your minds may be going....6 adults - 3 men, 3 women....booze flowing freely....what's not to imagine?

But alas, your minds are wrong....(you dirty little beggars)

....and my fantasies were blown to smithereens.

*sigh*

In fact I left early....after a particularly trying shift at work that afternoon, I was knackered and out the door by 10.15pm wishing I had more stamina and that Cameron didn't need to be driven to work at 6am the following morning. I am, if nothing else, a diligent mother, dedicated to my son's blood pressure...he would've had a panic attack of the largest proportion if he woke to find he couldn't get his mother out of bed at 5.30am....and let's not even think how he'd react if he found my bed empty at that hour of the morning.

Leaving early sounds like it wasn't such a bad thing afterall if what I'd been told on Saturday was anything to go by. And I have no reason not to believe Alice...we are, if nothing else, completely dedicated to each other and discussing the nitty gritty of any possible situation. And trust me...*raises one eyebrow*...we really do get right down to it. When it comes to topics we talk about, there is nothing safe in our hands.

Nothing that is...except my ex-husband and the sexual side of him...with either of us...(that's not at the same time by the way lol)...it's a subject we don't touch on...and under the circumstances it's best not to venture there. This situation is weird enough as it is, without that side of it being discussed.

Oh, that kinda looks like he's doing the deed with both of us lol....not so...I haven't been down that road with him for over 6 years now...so it's just Al...got that? Good.

My male friend in England thinks they're both daft...he also said he thought Alice had more sense than that lol. I keep telling him I'm feeling ok with the whole thing...that we're all doing well with it, there's not been a lot of awkwardness etc. He said "Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?" Sometimes it annoys me that he knows me so well...other times I love that he does.

On Friday night there was something that didn't sit well with me and he picked up on it....all those thousands of miles away. Did I tell you he has some kinda strange six sense thing going on? Yeah he does...he seems to be able to sense when I'm upset or unhappy. Maybe it's a change in the atmosphere. I'd like to think it's just the bloody weather lol...but his timing is always quite uncanny. Sometimes it's almost like he's watching over me...shame he can't touch me at the same time *snicker*.

Anyway, that Friday night thing...I won't bother going into detail because it was such a dumb thing to feel unsettled about. *blush* I came home more annoyed at myself for feeling irked by it rather than anything else.

But it did prove that I have a bit more adjusting to do about my ex-husband seeing my best friend, than first thought.