Because I can ...

Hey hey, you you, I don't like your girlfriend, No way, no way, I think you need a new one, Hey hey, you you, I could be your girlfriend.... Hey hey, you you I know that you like me, No way, no way, you know it's not a secret Hey hey, you you I want to be your girlfriend... I like this song...and not because I can relate to it, because I don't in many ways, but because it's loud, upbeat and funky. I enjoyed the music well before I bothered listening to the lyrics lol. I caught the video clip of it on tv the other night and I was saying to Cameron "Man, that's a nasty video, she's real MEAN to his girlfriend in it!" Cameron sighed and patiently pointed out that it was a video afterall and furthermore , April Lavigne also played the part of the girlfriend in the video. Course, I'm such a blind plonker, I missed that, I was too busy watching the tart singing, shoving the nice girlfriend into the water, not to mention knocking her in the head with...

It occurred to me yesterday, that last Friday is the first time in over 2 and a half years, I've ever had a guest blogger on my site. I've always been such a greedy wench, never sharing my page with anyone...I must like the man or something lol. (Ya think??) I had a lovely weekend with my sister and her hubby. Diane and Steve (that's their names for those of you that don't know), gave me an overhaul voucher to a private beautician (do you think they're trying to tell me something??) ...ok, it wasn't an overhaul per se...but an organic facial with some kinda mud clay treatment for my hair (sounds horrible to have dirt all through my hair, but I'll give it a shot, how hard can it be? I only have to front up and lie down...too easy). Seems these days almost everything is organic when it comes to my sister lol. The kids gave me a new cordless home phone. The previous one was really on it's last legs...you had to punch some of the numbers about 5 times with a...

...and then "she says" again, cos she always has to have the last word lol. It's my birthday today *grin* Thank you to those that have emailed me with e-cards and birthday wishes. They were very sweet and I appreciated your thoughts tremendously. Y'all just made my day that much better! Yesterday, I received the following email from the special man in my life. It's a biggun, but if you would care to take the time, I'd appreciate you reading it. Dan wrote this yesterday, it was a complete surprise to me, and I've left it as is, so as not to misquote him or alter anything he's written. He said I could add it to one of my posts. SO, here it is. Considering you've only heard my side of the situation, it seems fair to me that he should give his perspective also. I hate to have any of you think the man doesn't have a voice ya know? lol (He even gave it a heading, how cute is that? lol) If any of you have ever been across to The Kiwi House and read D...

There appears to be something happening with my email account. I mean, I spend bloody ages typing monstrous emails (and some of you KNOW I aint lying about that lol)...and some of you aren't even receiving them. Course I don't find this out for a few days...thats when the postmaster sends me an email telling me it hasn't been able to send MY emails after trying for 17,000 hours or something like that...ok, maybe just 127 hours, but even so, it's still a piss off. Funnily enough, some of that's crap and some of it's not....figuring out which ones were received by my online friends and which ones weren't is where the problem lies. So, just in case, I will now apologise to those that read me, that have sent me emails, and it could seem like I haven't responded. Yes, I can be hopeless at answering emails sometimes, but recently? Nah, I've been a good little emailer...if only my ISP would allow me to be, pfft. Actually, that's not completely tru...

I watched a documentary on telly the other night about some men that had dolls as companions...sexually and otherwise. Real Dolls , they're known as. From a distance they do look rather real, but they're actually made of silicone...I think the standard model weighs about 100 pounds of solid silicone. Each man interviewed had his own reasons for purchasing his doll companions... they're lonely for company, they want sex without the hassle of dating first, they want a woman that was a particular build, shape, colour...or maybe they have some kinky crazed sexual fantasies they feel no real woman would participate in. How easy to order one to your specifications eh? There are probably plenty of men out there that wish their partners were the perfect physical female speciman. Far as I'm concerned, they're blowing smoke up their own arses. She doesn't exist. One way or the other, she is almost always going to find something about her body she's not happy with. BU...

I wrote a post in February that I never put up. I'm actually glad I didn't post it at the time because I imagine the outcome would only be seen as stereotypical of the circumstances. ANYWAY, without further ado, here it is, make of it what you will, and I'll try my best to fill in some of the blanks occasionally. *** February 8 I told him I loved him this weekend. In fact I stopped him right in the middle of making love and told him. I've always thought it was never a good idea to say those words during sex. Mainly due to all the hormones going wild and not being completely in control of what's going through your mind. How does the receiver actually know you genuinely mean what you're saying? How do I know I genuinely mean it? I know that's why I stopped him. I wanted to make sure that in some crazy way the words were separated from what we were doing. I didn't want them to be lost in the heat of passion. I wanted to make sure he heard those...

Right, now you know what I'm involved in, I will continue to write what I want or please, whenever I get the urge ok? I realised that if I didn't eventually tell you that some of what I write on here was not going to make sense. I'm pretty good at not making sense at the best of times, but I figure it could only help to fill in some of the blanks. Regardless of the circumstances, I will continue to enjoy the time we do have together, and I will more than likely be expressing that on here. Reading about this situation is not going to sit well with everyone, I realise that. I don't expect you to be jumping up and down with joy about it, but I am hoping for respectful, insightful comments. And so far I've not been disappointed. If any of you are uncomfortable or upset with what you read on here, please tell me you'd like your invitation revoked. I'm very aware of the possible consequences... very aware...we both are. My eyes are not closed on this matter, the...

I'm not much for playing head games, and I certainly don't like it when others play head games with me. As far as I'm concerned they're a waste of time and can cause all manner of upsets for the parties involved. So, why is it then, that sometimes I feel like I'm playing head games with myself these days? My mind becomes split between the angel and devil advocates arguing back and forth. Makes me wonder how long it'll be before an all out brawl gets down and dirty up there. I'm having an affair with a married man. There's no other way to say it, it is what it is. There are very few of you that know this....for those that don't, I'll give you time to let that sink in. *nano second* Ok, that's enough, don't want you dwelling on it for too long. While it's not the typical affair (are any of them? I've no idea), it definitely comes with it's complications...whether we can overcome the complications and all they entail remai...

Cameron and I were having a discussion about what would/could/should happen when he eventually leaves home. There's no estimated date of departure...I think he just likes to fantasise about when he's no longer going to be under this roof. Occasionally he'll bring it up...I think he's concerned that if he doesn't mention it now and then, I'll forget it's ever going to happen. And besides, if there was an actual date, I'd have scrapped going private and permitted the whole damn universe to see the torture my oldest son was subjecting me to. You do realise when he goes I'm gonna be scarred emotionally to the point where I'm rocking and wailing, right? Me: "What if I just want to pop in and visit?" Cam: "No, you can't visit with me..." Me: "I'd respect your privacy...I wouldn't turn up unannounced, I'd ring first" Cam: "... you can only drop things off." Me: "Eh? What THINGS? Money I...

Ok, I think I've done it now. Sorry I don't have anything more interesting for you to read at this point in time...I was purely adding you all to the permission thingy and seeing if it worked. I'm humbled by how many of you sent requests, thank you. (Larry, you silver-tongued devil you lol.) I sent invites to most who asked, relented and sent 3 out that didn't, but thought they may be interested anyway lol. I can't help it if you're away on holiday or don't have readily available internet access. I took it upon myself to assume you'd be devastated if you came in here to find you'd been shut out...I'm hardly going to be happy feeling responsible for that much emotional trauma lol. I was going to say, if you can't get in here and you want to, then just send me an email or say so in my comment box. Then it struck me "How is that possible when some people can't even read what I've said here anyway, doh!" Put that down t...