Because I can ...

Having worked in an office since the age of 18, you can imagine I've had to deal with many photocopiers during my career. I hate the bloody things. They are notorious for jamming and breaking down when you need them most. I was scouting around on YouTube last week and found this. Just another reason for me to hate these shithead machines lol.

I really want a smoke. I'm still sitting here in my pjs, it's SO cold, and the rain is lashing against the windows. It's 10.44am Wednesday. I'm almost tempted to get dressed and head for the store to buy a packet...shame you can't just buy them by the single. I've been sitting here thinking about who's not at work at the moment, so I can visit them and lend a cigarette. It's making me fidgety and down. I want to sit outside on the top step and suck on the end of it (the smoke, not the step) and enjoy the feeling of it hitting the back of my throat. That must sound disgusting to non-smokers. And trying to blog is hopeless. When I stopped smoking earlier this year, (well from what I've noticed about my reactions), it's almost like I stop breathing...so I hold my breath. Anyone else see the irony in that? lol. Last time during the first week, I had to remind myself that it was ok to eat. I know! I'm in a bad way if I'm not eating...

Ok, I'm doing it again. Stopping smoking that is. Smoked my last one a couple of hours ago. Now have a patch stuck to my back. Cameron said he will give me 15 days of support...and it will only continue past that point if I manage 15 days with good behaviour. Me...not smoking...having to be good all the time. Hm. I'll do my best to keep the whinging and mood swings to a minimum as much as possible in here. I have to do this. I managed to go almost 4 months with only 2 cigarettes earlier this year. Started back kinda hesitantly - 1 a week, 1 every couple of days, etc etc...then moved onto the full blown smoking smoker. I'm not smoking to the same extent back before then...but I have obviously been smoking nonetheless. Besides the obvious health benefits...I'm now a lot more aware of how I smell. I'm almost paranoid at the smell on my clothes and in my hair. You can't get away from it you know? You could change your clothes and shave your head after ever...

This is my kinda thinking. Not great for my bank account of course, but still, I can see the rationale behind it. Isn't it fabulous how strongly the man agrees! lol

My new tenants appear to be settling in well, and from what I can gather, so far the only real furniture they have is a lounge suite. It's unfortunate that they don't speak a lot of english...there is a definite language barrier. Mum is staying with them for a few months to help them settle in, and she seems to speak better english than her son and daughter-in-law. I've had to come to the conclusion that if I need to talk to them about anything at length, it's better I go through the older brother who's english is impeccable. I can explain it to him, and he can be the unofficial interpreter. Saturday morning I received a phone call from downstairs. The husband announced himself, and after that I had no idea what he was talking about. His mother gets on the phone saying "There is music...coming from roof...I don't know what it is, I don't know what it is." I didn't have the television or the radio on up here...both the boys were still aslee...

And I don't just mean the weather. You know my previous post just down there? I must've felt something coming on. You know like the calm before the storm kinda thing? God, it just made me think be careful what you wish for....or talk about. Earlier in the evening Dan and I had been talking on the phone about guilt, not in any great depth, but talking about the guilt of our situation, how we came together etc. The guilt that lingers when you've hurt somebody you care for. My best friend had said that regardless of what you do, what you give to that person, compromise with that person, or even just let them have whatever they ask for (besides the obvious change of mind), the guilt won't go away in a hurry. I mentioned that I still felt guilty about how I handled things with Neil...it's not something I'm proud of...I hurt him terribly. I'm now passed the point of dwelling on that...I remember it, I feel bad, and I hope he's doing better. I can'...

Well, it's more than apparent I have lost the challenge to blog every day in July. To be honest, I actually don't feel so bad about it today. Ok, I feel a little bad about it. I truly do feel annoyed at myself for being so arrogant and saying it was a piece of cake and then going right ahead and failing. That'll serve me right for being so up myself eh? lol It's pissing with rain this evening. The morning started exactly this way too...hours of torrential rain. It's been so loud this evening I've continued to keep raising the volume on the telly to hear the damn thing. I feel restless this evening and the weather's only adding to it. I feel like I need to be doing something, I just haven't been able to figure out what that something is. Stupid, but true. I often feel this way. Like there's so much more I could be doing (besides housework), yet I don't entirely know where to start. So I end up practically pacing around the house, getting...

Many times over the past few years, I've stolen blog subjects off the radio. I have to admit, it's been some time since I did that, but if you've been reading me for a while, you may remember my radio posts. Generally subjects I've found interesting and wanted to either bring to your attention, or just basically discuss further (cos I'm like that.) A post that springs to mind fairly quickly, was one I wrote about Polly having a microphone in the doctor's office while she was having a cervical smear. Caused a wee upset with a couple of the males that read me at the time. Considering both sides were purely giving their opinions on the matter and both had the right of reply...a respectful peace eventually settled in once again. (I will confess I was probably a tad harsh in the closing paragraphs of that post.) Today I wanted to share with you the masterminds behind my favourite radio station here in Wellington and the people that have given me some interesting, if...

So to speak. I'm home. Just sayin'. House not in such bad shape really. Cat must've got locked in my bedroom. Found evidence of that *sigh* Jo you'll be pleased to know that Cameron carried my rather heavy suitcase up from the car for me. Ryan was asleep. Typical of him. I'm knackered now and more than ready to get into my own bed to sleep. Shame I had to leave my bed warmer behind, he's so good at doing that lol.

All this resting and relaxation is getting to me in some ways. We all know that I'm not going to win housekeeper of the year...I've made it more than obvious at times that Domestic Goddess is out of my league. And despite the fact I like my house to be orderly and clean...the covetted title of the big D.G. is never gonna be mine. I make valiant attempts to be...hell I'd even get on a chair and start vigorously wiping the walls in the kitchen if I thought someone was gonna see me do it. That's the important thing don't ya know? That someone see you do it. Important. Very. That way, they have a visual...which in turn makes their mind think "Oh ok, and here's me thinking she never cleans anything at all around here...obviously I'm wrong, I am seeing this with my own two eyes an' all." *closes eyes, opens again* "Nope, it really is happening...no figment of my imagination going on here." The moment they've gone of course, I down too...

I felt so guilty for not following through with what I was going to do, that I couldn't help myself and had to come in tonight and post something. Anything. And this is it. For the time being anyway.

It's hopeless really. I'm writing crap and boring myself shitless with anything I've put up this month. Soooo, I've decided that while I'm down here (in the South that is), I'm going to give it a miss until I'm home and can come up with something more worthy of a read. I'm not happy with most of what I've written this month. It's one thing to blog every day....it's quite another to blog something interesting. Bless you to those that have bothered coming in and giving it a look over regardless. I'll be back, again. But for the time being, I'm waving the white flag and admitting defeat. Catch you next week :)

This is me blogging from Dan's house. This is me also thinking it was a mistake to say I would blog each and every day of July. Who's stupid idea was that??! 20 fun-filled days to go. Woo hoo! *sigh*

Had one hell of a shift this morning. Thursday are starting to rival Monday mornings. As much as I enjoy my job, I'm feeling pretty glad it's over for a short time and I'm not due back until Monday week. The new tenants are downstairs messing around, measuring up etc...making sure they're furniture (what they have of it), will fit in the right places. I'm packing and trying to get myself ready for my flight this evening. I've had to upgrade my suitcase size...well, I'm taking a slightly bigger suitcase this time around...winter clothes take up that much more than summer ones obviously. Dunno if I've got everything, but I'll deal with that when or if the time comes for it. Long as I've got my meds and plenty of knickers, I'm past caring. Although I'm sure noone is going to want to take me out in my pjs lol. Next time I'm in here, I'll be sitting at Dan's PC. Hopefully, by then, I'll have the chance to actually go an...

Just signed the tenancy agreement with the Sri Lankan couple. Thank God that's over. Hopefully, they'll be good tenants and not bother me at all. I'm a push-over as a landlady, so I barely ever put my nose in downstairs unless I'm asked to. The times I've had to do that over the years, you could count on one hand. Now I can fly south tomorrow night and not worry about having to deal with it all when I come back. Except the wall hole...by then it should be nicely dried out and we can cover up it's gaping ugliness. I can't wait to see Dan tomorrow night...his arms are going to be the perfect place to relax after the past couple of weeks. Yay! Time for bed, I'm stuffed. *mwah*

I got the above card from Cameron last month. He knows I have a thing for handbags and felt it appropriate, yet funny. He's very thoughtful like that (sometimes, not so much others. What can I say? He's a male teenager). It accompanied a book. "The Almost Moon" by Alice Sebold. He chose this book because Sebold also authored "The Lovely Bones" and he knew I'd enjoyed that. Thoughtful brownie point number 2. He made strong reference to this fact, and stressed that he didn't want me to think that the subject matter was the reason. Not sure where he was coming from, I turned the pages to chapter 1. The very first sentence in the book? "When all is said and done, killing my mother came easily." Hm.

Haven't heard from the Sri Lankan people, so I have no idea whether they're still interested or not. They came back through again yesterday afternoon for another look, so I figured they were at least seriously considering it. The new tub has been installed, as has a new kitchen sink mixer, and the only thing left now is the hole in the wall. That won't be repaired until it's dried out sufficiently...no point in putting up fresh gibboard against damp frame. For the time being, it looks ugly, but the laundry area is serviceable, and that's more important. Unless I can get the handyman to fix it while I'm down south, it can wait til I'm back. It won't be properly dry until this coming weekend anyway. If these people actually do want to move in this week (that's a big IF at this stage), then he can do it while I'm away. I'm very over the whole thing. In fact, I'm in a very "Can't be fucked" kinda mood about it now. Whate...

Received this via email today so figured I'd use it right here. I'm knackered tonight and not feeling too flash...early night methinks. It's only the sixth day and I'm already cheating. Still, the below makes sense to me...if only I could stick with it all to the letter lol. HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Try everything twice. On Madam's tombstone (of Waylon and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph: ' Tried everything twice...loved it both times!' 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches.) 3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's! 4. Enjoy the simple things. 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath... And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER. 6. The tears hap...

Today has not worked out the way I wanted it to, but I may have achieved something, so it can't be all bad. A couple of minutes ago I panicked when I realised we're on day 5 and I had to post. I know. I may have found a couple of tenants. Certainly they're keen. They're from Sri Lanka and only been in New Zealand for a couple of months. Big brother's been here for 12 years and has taken them under his wing and doing the rounds trying to find somewhere suitable for them to live now. He's very keen on my flat, so that's good. I like the whole family oriented thing...it shows a strong support network for them. I'll make a decision tomorrow (not that I have many options!), but I feel that they're the ones I'll probably go with at this time. My priority is sorting out the laundry situation and it's hole in the wall. Today I've spent a fair bit of time running around looking at supertubs and eurotubs. I am so over anything to do with...

I've been downstairs looking at my flat's half-wall and trying to figure out which way would be best to rectify the whole tap/laundry tub dilemma. In the meantime, I waited around for a prospective tenant who said he'd be here between 12.30 and 1.30. No show. Then I get an email from him eventually saying that he couldn't find the property...although he mentioned my neighbour's house and then said he'd got an idea of the property, so I can let it to someone else. That was mighty generous of him. I went out to Bunnings this afternoon to have a shufti at laundry tubs. I figured changing the tub would be a good start. The taps were originally installed on the wrong wall, and right now I'm thinking my ex-husband, for all his wisdom, is an idiot. To put the taps in the correct place, I'd have to make another hole, in another wall. Avoiding that would be helpful. I measured up the old tub, making sure I didn't get one too big for it's allotted...

That's what I'm doing. Waiting for prospective tenants to turn up. I've had several enquiries and to be honest, they've all kinda run into each other. Certainly, there are a couple in particular that I'm interested in meeting. But besides that I'll just take them all as they come ( if they come)...and take it from there. What does one do in a situation like this? Stand in the corner while they check the place out and take notes? I'm tempted...mainly because I'm scared I'm going to get my wires crossed. What if I think I've clicked with someone and it turns out to be the wrong person? I may have to start a star system in my notebook, blah. The carpet looks great! I'm really pleased with it. The laundry "wall-hole", not so much. I have to ring Jason this evening and tell him I need him and his uncle to turn up this weekend and do several things. Priority of which being the hole in the wall. We used to have a strip club/m...

I had 3 couples lined up to view the property before 1.30 today and have had to postpone them because the carpet layer's decided to do the carpet today. Can't help that, the carpet needs to be laid. Half the wall is now missing, there is insulation and broken pieces of gib board (drywall, sheetrock, whatever you call it in your country) all over the kitchen floor, and it's pissing down with rain and I still can't see where the water's coming in *sigh* The problem with waiting for friends to do maintenance, is that they generally already have a full time job, as is the case with Jas. Which of course means, I have to wait until he has time to fit me in. It's the reality of the situation but frustrating all the same. I've only got ants in my pants because I'm working on the deadline of 10 July lol. I've had 732 hits on my online advert and 12 email enquries. Considering I only put it up yesterday afternoon, that's not so bad. I've no idea really...

The 1st of July that is. I did say I would attempt to post every day this month, so here goes. Once again, I'm in the process of letting out my flat downstairs. The previous tenants have been gone 2 weeks, and I'm finally putting down new carpet throughout. I've had quotes from 3 different firms, one in particular stood out for professionalism well above the others, but in the end I've decided to buy the carpet seperately and get in a carpet layer independently. I've saved myself over $700 doing it this way, so I can't be unhappy with that now can I? The carpet's going down this week (hopefully, the trader I bought it off is going away tomorrow and the carpet layer hasn't been in touch with him as of last night). Yesterday I advertised online and so far I've received 5 emails from interested parties. Not a bad start. I put up several photos of the place after rushing downstairs to take pictures while the sun was shining....had to try and get i...