Because I can ...

Dropping the boys off to school this morning, I made my way directly to the supermarket. I don't have a particular day that I do the grocery shopping anymore. In fact, lately I've been leaving it to the moment when I absolutely HAVE to go. You know, like when we run out of toilet paper or something equally as important. I was staring bleary eyed through the glass at the raw diced chicken, thinking about dinner, when I was abruptly woken up by the sound of the butcher bellowing across the counter "GOOD MORNING! HOW ARE YOU TODAY?!" This man was sunny and helpful and the volume of his voice accosted my still sleeping senses. What is it with these men? Have you ever noticed how cheerful and smiley butchers seem to be? They're always so pleased to see you, and I don't think it has anything to do with how appealing we may look...as we're standing there with our hair trussed back, woolly sweater, track pants and slippers on (yeah I know, quite the lovely vi...

I could've had sex on Saturday. I could've...but I didn't. This all happened around 10am Saturday morning when he dropped in for a visit because he was in town. He had to fly out again late that afternoon, so we decided to catch up that morning before the flight. Now, I'm not opposed to having sex during the daylight hours, and although it wasn't planned....we had discussed it earlier in the week, on an "if it happens, it happens" basis. I was feeling pretty sure by the time I hung the phone up that night, that it wasn't going to be happening for me. This man is a dear friend of mine, I've known him for several years, and I will admit we've danced around the subject of sex off and on over the years...but to be honest, I've never really thought of him in that way. The idea occasionally flits across your mind, very briefly, but going through with it in the real world? An entirely different thing altogether. Anyway, he turns up, and for th...

When I was visiting my sister with Alice a month or so ago, my sister brought out this brown fuzzy hat to show us. Apparently she wears it in the shower instead of a shower cap. Her husband walked into the bathroom one morning to find his wife in the shower, fuzzy hat on her head. He raised his hands saying "Don't tell me...I don't even want to know". My sister has beautiful long curly hair....she hates it (of course she does, if it were straight she'd want it curly right?). So every so many days she does the ardous task of getting out the GHD and straightening her hair. If you know anything about straightening your own hair at home, you would know, that when it gets wet, the curl comes back. Sproing! So to protect her straightness, she wears the only thing she found that she could stuff her hair up into. Now, I don't have a shower cap either, and if I'm not washing my hair in the shower that day, I pin it back with a claw clip, go about my busines...

Something devastating happened after the softball club prizegiving on Saturday night. A young man...18 years old next month....took his own life by hanging himself from a tree in the neighbour's back yard. A six year old found him. From what I've heard he attended a party after the prizegiving....and he was going around saying goodbye to people. Everyone thought he was just being silly...noone took him seriously. And why would they? Who would suspect that such a tragedy was about to occur? Obviously those he left behind are numb with grief and questioning the why's and wherefores of his actions. As is usual in so many cases of suicide, noone is ever going to find out the reason. I have read so many tributes to him...and from all accounts he was a smiling, laughing teenager that seem to make it his business to keep his friends happy and smiling. It makes no sense at all. The college students were informed about this former pupil when they returned to school on Tu...

I went out Saturday night. The annual softball prizegiving evening was held last night, and although I haven't played for two seasons now, I still attend the end of season knees-up. It's always a great night, spent amongst great people and I love to dance. Been a while since I really loosened up enough to bust some moves on the dance floor....that's not to say I'm any good at it...just that I was relaxed enough to do it. Read my lips...."bourbon and coke". Being a single woman in my 40's, there are a few things that come to the fore under these circumstances (actually the fact that I'm 40 doesn't have a lot to do with that, I noticed it the moment I shed my husband at the age of 33). The first one is that I'm single. The second is there are married women around watching the single women...and their proximity to said married women's spouses. Why is that? Do they think we're going to run off with their husbands if they don't w...

I'm back. Not sure for how long, but seeing as this is free, I can't be jumping up and down complaining about it really can I? Besides, I know the people at Blogger will be working their little butts off to return our regularly scheduled programme back to normal! For the time being I'm going to post an HNT pic for the weekend....a pic I would've posted yesterday had I been able to get here. lol No, that is not my bed. No, those aren't my naughty ornaments. And no, those handcuffs don't belong to me. But...yes, those are my hands, so it's within the guidelines of HNT right? Oh and one more...No, this picture was not taken under the circumstances you might be thinking. Unfortunately I don't have any green for St Patrick's Day in it (which was a requirement this week)...but I was married to a Patrick once, AND that's gotta count for having plenty of irish bloodstock in me over the years I reckon lol. Anyway...one day last week I noticed my hit ...

Ryan (15 next month) came home from school on Monday and announced "Well it's official...I now hate my music class". My heart dropped...this is (was) one of his favourite classes. At the beginning of the school year, the class was split into groups of 3 or more, and each group was to decide on a song to play at an up and coming concert (two weeks from now). For the past 6 weeks Ryan has been practising on his guitar and learning the tune to "Six Feet from the Edge" by Creed. On Monday, due to one of the other groups only consisting of two students, he now has to learn "Iron Maiden" by Iron Maiden. Have you heard the guitar work in this song?? My son is a novice electric guitar player, and while I'm not going to doubt that he has the capability to get the job done...that's mighty intricate finger work to achieve in two weeks. He reckons he'll be ok. I have to admire his spirit and give him credit for having the confidence...but in the m...

Early yesterday evening I drove past the local firestation. We have a very small firestation....for years there's been talk of them shutting it down and joining with the neighbouring bigger surburb. The community uproar basically consisted of a very loud "OI! Bollocks to that!!"....and for the time being, we're still lucky to have one. And when I say "one", I mean that's how many fire trucks live at our station lol. Yep, just the one. But that one firetruck is what gives our community some security when and if it needs it. I believe there are only 2 permanent firemen at this firestation, the rest are volunteers. Several years ago standing on a balcony of one of my friend's houses, I heard the fire siren go off. It sounds like the civil defence emergency siren, it's so loud it can be bloody deafening if you're close enough. My friend's house is high on the hill, and has a terrific view of the community. The siren went off...and within minu...

I stayed overnight at Alice's Friday night. I finally got to bed at 2am...that was after I'd already been asleep on the couch since about 12.30am. Yep, that's me...my middle name isn't "Stamina" for nothing ya know *snort*. Saturday morning I crawled from her daughter's room, into bed beside Al and we watched Bridget Jones' Diary...again. As I sat there staring at the telly and eating reheated leftover pizza for breakfast, my brain cogs began to spin. Bridget Jones was in her early 30's right? She was fixated on her weight, how much she smoked and drank..and the lack of men in her life....or maybe more the lack of a significant male in her life. So....I've just begun the journey into my 40's...I'm not obssessed with my weight, although I probably should be...I know I certainly shouldn't be smoking....my drinking is minimal, so at least I've got that bit under control....and as for the lack of men in my life? Well, that...

A couple of weeks ago, the infamous Al and I, for seperate reasons, had a particularly trying Saturday morning. While I was crying down the phone to another friend, the beeps came through...answering that call, I heard Alice crying on the phone....I say goodbye to the first caller and go back to Al. After we both managed to stop blubbering, we laughed at each other, making fun of the irony of us both sobbing at the same time...it's never happened before....it's either one or the other, you know, and never the Twain shall meet....until that morning. Eventually our conversation moved to safer ground. Alice: "We need to get hammered." Me: "Nah we don't, we need to do something Thelma and Louise-ish. Oh, I know! Let's bugger off up the coast for the night and stay at the orchard." Alice: "That sounds cool...but without the gun..." Me: "Or the driving off the cliff bit..." Alice: "I'll bring the scarves." Me: "I...

A few months ago I made a new friend...his name is Mark. Mark comes to me courtesy of MasterCard. Mark rings me each month for a lovely chat....this always consists of "If you could just put the minimum amount of $[blah] on it, you'll be ok until next month". See how much he cares for me? *sigh* Today I made another new friend....his name is Daniel. Daniel has become very attached to my home. He is a man of many hats. He brings gifts. He shuffles things around to make good things happen for me. And because I think he's so wonderful, I introduced him to my mate Mark. Daniel comes to me courtesy of my local banking branch. I now have a new fixed interest rate on my mortgage, AND a very cheerful Mark at the same time. I think that means I've just lost Mark's friendship...he will be out there searching around making new friends I suppose. I have not made any friends, new or old, at the Inland Revenue Department....yet. But...I'm wearing them down...it ...

How could I possibly disappear after all the support and encouragement you've shown? That would be unforgivably rude of me. Thank you all so much for your kind words, I can't tell you how much I appreciated reading your comments on my previous post. They've all helped me immensely. We really need to have some kind of party. There are various forms of being 'done'. There's the done that applies to the roast beef being ready....the done that applies to an assignment, or job being complete...and then there's the done in relation to had enough, given up...nothing, nada...no more to come because there's nothing left to give. I'm sure there are other varieties, but those are the only ones i can think of at the moment. It seems for the moment I'm "undone"....and not in the "I've buckled under the strain and my brain is now a gooey mass" sense...been there, done (heh) that...but in the "I have far too much to say to ev...

I have no motivation to do anything.....I started off with a hiss and a roar, emptying out cupboards, clearing out wardrobes etc...and then I stopped. I don't want to do anything....I'm lacking in complete and utter 'anything-ness'. I don't want to go to work - yet I love my job. I prefer to lay on the bed and stare at the ceiling all day. I don't want to do any housework - not unusual, I hate the stuff...but I don't usually let it drop behind like it has recently. There's a pile of clothes on the floor of the laundry...there are dishes stacked up along the sink (and I have a dishwasher). The only washing I did last weekend was the boys school uniforms. I worry constantly about my blood pressure - I've been on medication to stabalise it, have been for about 3 years and the tablets have been working great...til recently. The doctor said that I was to get it checked again in two weeks time....I'm overdue. All I have to do is hold my arm out to...

Several gazillion years ago, the lovely Fizzy tagged me to do this. I knew I'd eventually get around to it, it was just a case of when . Well here it is. I'm afraid it's not very exciting or creative, but hey, that's ok as far as I'm concerned lol. A - Age of your first kiss: 14...my first REAL kiss...took my boyfriend 10 months to get the nerve up to do it, but it happened. B - Band you are listening to : Golden Horse C - Crush: Kevin Costner, Matthew McConaghey, Bryan Adams, Nicholas Cage . D - Dad's name: Kingi E - Easier person to talk to: Alice - anything and everything, right down to the nitty gritty. F - Favourite Icecream: Hokey Pokey G - Gummy worms or bears: Bears H - Hometown: Wellington I - Instruments: Recorder, Guitar, Flue, Piano (not that I can play any of them now, but I gave them a jolly good go. Oh maybe the recorder I could still do, if I concentrate really hard.) J - Junior High: Intermediate School, College? Is NZ College the Junio...

Finding a subject to write about these days is a toughie for me. I don't feel I can spew forth on these pages so much like I used to. Maybe that will come back to me at some stage....soon I hope. I feel stifled....frustrated that I can't express how I feel and what I'm thinking. Oh, probably better I tell you now that I've been drinking. Not a lot...but it doesn't take much for me to loosen up in just about every way when I've got alcohol in my blood stream. I know some of you must be wanting to know...curious, maybe....to hear more about how things were when Walker was here, and there are a lot of things I'd like to talk about that relate to that time. I'm talking about the positive things, not the negative stuff. Yet, how can I write about the good things that we did and some of the good feelings I had...when we're now in the position we're in because of me? When I think back a few weeks, I cringe at the person I became. I hate that I wa...

I've been tagged by Mr Haney , who was tagged by Mrs Lifecruiser , who was tagged by Jenny , who is someone I don't know and haven't read enough about yet (although I did notice she's got a lovely picture postcard of NZ on her most recent post, I'm liking her already)...but I will read more, if only to find out who tagged her, and follow the trail right back to the meme originator. Then I'm going to....well, never mind what I'm going to do...but it's not going to be pretty. Nah, just kidding...I know some of you LOVE doing these bloody things. lol I still have two other memes I haven't completed yet. One from Fizzy and one from Skye ....I really haven't forgotten. Honest...I've just been...um...doing stuff. But seeing as I have all this extra time to play with myself, now might be a good time to try completing them. Anyway, enough of that...onto the most recent meme! Four jobs I've had: 1. Hot Dog vendor. When I was 13 I managed to land...

A friend sent this to me via email. Thought I'd share it with you seeing as it's in keeping with my previous post. Gave me a laugh anyway. *** Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day. My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine foryears? Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose. Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My bum was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rea...

As I mentioned at the end of my previous post, I helped a friend move house this weekend. As I was packing up her bathroom that morning, not to mention unpacking her kitchen that evening, I wondered how on earth she could accumulate so much in the space of 18 months. Have you checked what's at the back of your bathroom cabinet lately? And as for the pantry in the kitchen...why do we continue to keep such stuff?? This got me to thinking about the surplus I have laying around my house. I've been here for 15 years...that's a shitload of accumulation. I have plenty of cupboards in the kitchen...but do I ever have enough room to put anything? No, of course not. Because my cupboards are filled with all manner of serving dishes and platters and odd glasses etc that I haven't used for years, if I've EVER used them at all. My bathroom vanity unit was filled with moisturisers and cleansers and various types of age-reducing paraphenalia that I don't even recall buying. It ...

When we were up north in Rotorua a couple of weeks ago, we took the boys to what's known as the AgroDome ...it's out in the country where they have bungy jumping and jet boat rides etc. My two decided to opt for what's known as the Zorb (another first for New Zealand, did you know that bungy jumping was created here too? is this a good thing or a bad thing for us Kiwis do you think?). They basically climb into a large rubber ball and roll down a hill....throw a bucket of water in there with them (Hydro Zorb) and the whole thing is over in about 20-30 seconds, but apparently it's quite the adrenalin rush....the boys loved it. Barnaby wasn't forgotten while this was happening, and the staff at the centre told us that if we'd spoken to them earlier, they would've put him in the Zorb with the boys. My favourite picture of Cameron. My favourite of Ryan. And a photo of them after they both 'squirted' out of the hole in the side of it. I got a phone call at...

I've been thinking about this for the last day or so. A valentine's post...what should I write? Should I pretend it's just another day and completely avoid going anywhere near it? Should I stay in denial for as long as possible until the next one comes around and ignore that one too? As I mentioned last year, we don't celebrate Valentine's Day with as much enthusiasm and vigour as some countries do, and although there is plenty of advertising around the shops, I don't feel like it's being shoved down my throat about how much everyone else is being loved or loving others. A few weeks ago I took my mate Barnaby to the Botanical Gardens...the rose gardens to be exact. (Roses...Valentines...get it? Yeah, I knew you would.) As you'll be aware, all roses have names, some peculiar and some more appropriate than others. Below are some pictures I've snapped, taking advantage of rose names. They're obviously not appropriate to be showing 5/6 year old kid...