Because I can ...

Had a complaint against me at work today. Actually it was from one of the nurses...the same nurse that tipped me over the edge last month, when I had my boo hoo moment in the kitchen (I was also PMSing at the same time...a bad combination at the best of times...HOW DARE SHE??!). Today she complained that Annette and I have been leaving the front desked unmanned too often. This isn't a difficult task....I find I'm forever chasing off around the office to find nurses, or rushing into the doctor's rooms to explain something to them...asking them questions from patients that have rung etc...before they take in their next patient. As far as I'm aware, this can't be helped. The desk is never unmanned for any longer than a minute at most, and we pick and choose the moments we leave it. I often ask the patient that's just come out of the doctor's room if they can give me a moment while I grab the doctor. I'll get the occasional disgruntled look, and if that happ

She woke up in one of those moods again this morning. She wakes up in one of those moods every morning. Laying under the comforter dozing off and on...snatching time to enjoy little tidbits of fantasies...some from the past, some to look forward to in the future. Eyes closed and mind focused on the delicious feeling of skin against skin....the sound of groaning and ragged breathing echoing through her head. She feels her nipples stiffen against the soft fabric of her nightware. The thought of his hands palming the fleshy mounds making her back arch...trying to press closer to him. She recalls him sucking on her lower lip....his mouth kissing and licking it's way down her neck....sliding his tongue between her breasts....the tip circling her hard nipples....teasing them. She feels her body jolt as he flicks each peak in turn...her fingernails biting into his shoulders. His voice takes control of her....."Does that feel good Baby?"....."You want this don't you Bab

Whilst out driving the kids to school this morning, I spotted a Hillman Superminx Stationwagon on the roads. I haven't seen one of those for YEARS. Anyway, seeing that, has sparked this post. Years ago when I was young and innocent (all of 18 years old), I met my future husband. He didn't have a car at the time, and as our relationship progressed, eventually he bought a Hillman Superminx. It had fat wheels on it (whatever that means). His brother bought the superminx wagon off the same guy (who must've decided to upgrade and get rid of all the old stuff, dunno). The Superminx being what it was, was like driving a tank....I always felt safe in it....if anyone had plowed into me with their swanky new car, I was sure our car was going to be coming out in the better condition. My brother in law decided he'd had enough of his, so passed it onto my husband, who in turn decided we didn't need two cars with the same name, and promptly entered himself and the car in Sat

I've been sitting here for the past 30 minutes clicking back and forth through various screens on my PC. Not blogging, but just the windows I've got open at the moment....Outlook Express....MSN Messenger...Internet Lovers....an email from Anna....blah blah blah...you get the idea. I've been clicking around here, not doing anything in particular because I'm trying to think up something interesting to post today. I have finally come to the conclusion that I have nothing. Nothing to stimulate your senses with...no pretty pictures to post to make you smile...nope...nothing. So I give up....I will just tell you what I did today. There is nothing of monumental value in what I've achieved (besides removing the cat crap out of the bath...again...aaaarrrgggghhh!). Here it is..my day. I wake to find a puddle of cat poop in the bath (yes I know I just told you that, but hey, if I have to endure it, so do you...you are afterall, such a part of my life these days)...oh yay, more

Hahaha get a load of this. Me, being the lazy cretin that I am, and wanting to have a play with the webcam Walker sent me for my birthday....created the following. I hope it doesn't take too long to load up, and I hope you can understand me. Enjoy! (or not lol) A/V Blog by Userplane

I must apologise to you all. I've been trying to get around your blogs to read and comment the last few days, and besides all the birthday joy and working etc, I've not been having an easy time getting to you. Ya see....a couple of weeks ago I messed around with the HTML on my template again (you know? just for a change?) and added a little tag thing to each of your links, so when I clicked on your link it would open up in a new window. When I'd finished reading and commenting, I could then close the window (my homepage being right behind it) and click straight onto the next link on my list. Prior to me adding the extra bit, I would have to click on your links, read, comment, click the back button and then go to the next of the links on the list. (Are ya following me?) This started to bother me because I felt it was probably me that was driving my site counter up more than anyone else. And can one really get excited about having an average of 80 odd page views a day, when i

I'm not sure I have much to write about today...you all blew me away with the force of your good wishes yesterday, I'm exhausted lol. Thank you so much everyone...I was deeply touched to receive all your birthday greetings. Thank you also to Walker , Bella , Fizzy and June for their extra special blog wishes. Back to work today, it was extremely busy but sweetened by the huge bunch of flowers my work colleagues gave me. The young man I blogged about recently is not a concern at the moment...he was picked up by the police and has been locked away for a couple of weeks, pending psychiatric assessment. This finally happened after he leapt in front of a couple of moving vehicles, yelling and screaming at the drivers. Unfortunately, he chose to jump in front of one of the other ladies I work with....she was on her way to the surgery, and turned up quite hysterical. Last night, I had a play around with the webcam that Walker sent me. Finally I was able to open the box that had been

I have arrived. I am now in the land of the 40s...a newly initiated member of the 40s Club. I came online this morning to read my comments. Thank you to all those that have wished me a Happy Birthday. I'm very touched by your wishes. Then of course I went over to Walker's site....besides the fact that I do this as part of my daily routine, it was obvious that he'd been sending his readers over. I was so touched by his gesture today....the fireworks and flashing stars and his birthday message to me is beautiful...I was moved to tears by the lyrics in the song he has on his site..so appropriate in our situation. I knew he'd been upto something....last week he'd said, more to himself than to me, "I've got 9 days to do this"...I finally bothered doing the calculation and realised it was the date of my birthday in 9 days....so I just KNEW he was up to something lol. Thank you so much honey. 15 came out this morning and made me cry again. He gave me a book c

Years ago, when I was 14-15, I worked after school as the tea lady at the hospital...in the geriatric ward. I think this set me up for life when it comes to not judging a book by it's cover (it also completely put me off drinking tea forever after). Each day after school I would do the rounds in the ward, handing out tea/coffee and clearing plates etc from the patients. Some of the patients I got to know fairly well, others, I had to introduce myself to each and every day...due to various stages of dementia setting in. One old duck in particular would keep us on our toes and amused for hours on end. I'd often push my tea trolley past her as she was standing in the corridor, handbag over her arm, patiently waiting for the bus to arrive. Another time I found her in front of a full length mirror talking to herself. Her name was Frances, and she always spoke to "Frances". I heard some crashing around in the kitchen one evening...went in and found her going through

I seem to have a thing about posting pics lately (probably cos I'm finally feeling confident about how to do it lol). The above photo is my all time favourite picture of me and 15. I love it. I had hired a photographer to take photos of him (5 months old) for my ex husband's birthday. Amongst all the snapping and posing etc, he started getting grumpy and irritable because he was hungry. We stopped, so I could feed him...the photographer kept snapping away. And I'm so glad she did. I have this photo framed on my night stand. It sits beside one of 15 at 19 months old holding his new born brother on his lap...unfortunately I don't have a scanner or I would have posted that too. (You lucky devils lol) I don't feel right posting a photo of one son and not the other, so here are both of them (actually smiling, woo hooo!). I made them hang around long enough to take these photos...they were clowning around and making fun of me, and generally being complete goons, but hey,

How happy is this huh? lol It's obviously not a "I'm so happy I could burst" kinda pic, in fact it's more of a "get out of my face, I don't want to be messed with" kinda look. I have, of course, received permission from 15 to post this here. If I had not, and posted it anyway, I would have had to face that expression day in and day out, until he felt he had punished me enough (he's a teenager, what can I say? it could have gone on for months). This pic was taken while he was in Japan. I actually emailed it to his father with a note saying "Here's a photo of our son having the time of his life in Japan" lol. 15 had in fact, just finished touring through the Japanese Peace Museum. He told me later that what he'd seen in there was so depressing and gave him such horrific visions of the past, that it took him some time to shake off the mood. I got a call at work from 14 on Friday afternoon. He told me he'd had a slight problem t

I've been thinking about friendship lately. The people we meet in real life, and the ones we meet online and the differences between the two. For those that I'm close to in real life, I can hug and kiss and see their smiles, watch them change and grow as the years rush past. I can hold them when they cry and laugh with them in joy and celebration of all the milestones and special events that happen in our lives. I can physically touch their bodies....feel their warmth, see the expressions on their faces change and feel sure I know what thoughts are going through their minds. For my online friends that's not possible. We can only 'feel' the changes they go through by reading their words. As we become enthralled in our internet lives, we learn to use font size and smilies to emphasise words and feelings we're experiencing at that time. Some are still learning the best way to express themselves and get their point across via this media....others are masters of the

We've been having a spot of bother at the surgery over the past couple of weeks. One of our mental health patients (chap around the age of 22 or so) has been visiting us on a regular basis. Like, every morning. The first couple of times he was ok. He's actually a little scary in some ways...he has long messy hair and a beard to match...he speaks very slowly, talking at the floor much of the time...not alot of eye contact to be had with this lad. Last Tuesday morning he came in and caused a commotion....he insisted on seeing the doctor immediately and refused to wait. He paced back and forth in the waiting room...occasionally he would take a seat beside another patient....then proceed to tell them about blowing out peoples brains. He starting yelling and threatening and eventually the police were called in. By the time the cops arrived he'd finally stormed out, but left quite an impression. The next morning when he arrived the doctor took him in straight away. One of the pat

I've been thinking about what to do with this prestigious milestone of my life. What DO I do with it? To be honest, I'm not keen to be having a big party to mark this even, and if I'd chosen to go that way, I'd have started arranging things a lot earlier than now. BUT...I don't want to have it go by without something happening....you know what I mean? I don't want to be asked years from now "What did you do on your 40th?"...to have to reply with "Nothing". So I'm thinking about getting some friends together and going out for dinner on the Friday night after the official date of my birthday. Now I have to think of where to go, nowhere too flash and upmarket...somewhere comfortable, relaxed with soft-lighting and good quality food, with the possibility of going dancing later if we feel like it...that sounds good to me. I rang Anna for her input. We talked for awhile about what to do...blah blah blah (no, no, not THOSE kinda blah blah blahs

After I dropped the kids off to school this morning, I was listening to the car radio. Polly (one of the morning DJs) was doing one of her polls to the general male listening public, and came out with her question of the day. God knows where she gets these questions or how she thinks them up, but here it is. "Your partner is a 40 year old women, how would you prefer she dressed? Like a Vixen? or a Nana (grandmother)? There can be no in-betweens, and we're not talking about a Pamela Anderson body here...but an average woman of 40." There were various ages of men ringing in to take part in her poll, it seems that from ages 13-30 (13??!), they'd prefer a Vixen, obviously regardless of what kind of figure their fictitious 40 yr old woman had. Then from age 40 up, with the oldest being 61, the men wanted their women to dress as a Vixen. The 30-40 year old men preferred her to dress like a Nana. I wanted to ring in and ask how the Vixen wishers would feel if the woman was d

I had a new reader drop by yesterday. Manoj of "As we go on..." He brought up an interesting subject. "How do we define success?". Manoj feels that the easiest way for him to measure success is by how wealthy the man is. (I have to assume here the word 'man' can be read as man or woman.) There's a fair amount of debate going on in the comments section of his post...by all means, jump in if you feel the need. I guess, in society, and through the eyes of others (same thing?), we are judged by the type of car we drive...the kind of house we live in...the clothes we wear etc. Personally, I feel I've had various successes in my life...none of them to do with money at all. I have no money, but that doesn't mean I'm without success does it? I have two fabulous teenage boys...ok, I'm their mother, I can say that, for all you know, I could be looking at them through rose tinted glasses. To counteract that thought, I need to tell you, that I've

Last night I went out to catch up with a good friend of mine. She's a pot smoker and she'd had the occasional chat with my man on MSN. Walker spent some time last week going out to find her a special pipe to send her from Canada....it arrived in the mail a few days ago, and I told him I'd deliver it to her this weekend. Which I did. She was rapt with it....it's very unique...has a troll's head, handcrafted and attached to the handle. She broke out the 'bubbly' to christen the pipe. I'm not an avid smoker in this respect. I've had very few experiences with the stuff at all. The first time I was 18, attending a party with my boyfriend (who eventually became my husband), and I cornered one of his mates and asked him to introduce me to this green substance. We went off into an empty bedroom...I shared a joint with him....went back out to the party...tried to breathe all over my boyfriend to let him know I'd been 'grown up'. He then took me ba

The following blog post is what happens when you're pushed for time and still don't have a blog subject for the day. Brace yourselves. *** I am fast losing patience with my cat. She's not a particularly social cat....in fact I'm thinking of taping a sign to the door reading "Beware of Cat". She's been known to claw and scratch at unsuspecting visitors that have seen her and reached down to pick her up, saying "Aaaww, look at your beautiful little kitty"...to be replaced immediately with "Holy fuck, what's up with your cat??!" (rubbing their arm/leg/face and wincing). Over the past few months, I have written from time to time on here that I have had to clean up this cat's 'offerings'...these have been restricted to the bath or smeared across the laundry floor as I've opened the door first thing in the morning. For this I am grateful, at least they're 'wet' areas she's chosen. This past week, I have c

Last Christmas I took the boys down south to visit my parents. It was a brief visit...all of four days. This was enough for all parties concerned. My parents live in a small country town called Motueka (pronounced Mot-chew-ache-a), at the northern tip of the south island...there's not a lot to do there to keep a couple of electronic-hungry teenage boys entertained, so I figured 4 days would be enough before they drove me and their grandparents batty. Motueka is a beautiful place to visit/retire....lots of fruit orchards...apple trees and kiwifruit vines as far as the eye can see...beautiful beaches...dinky little craft shops off the beaten track....it never seems to rain there. It's a very popular holiday spot for overseas visitors and Kiwis alike. We took the Interislander ferry over the Cook Strait (3 hour crossing) with the car and drove the 3 hours to my parents home, arriving at 11.30pm Christmas Eve. It was great to spend Christmas Day with the folks...ever since they re

I was over at Butterfly's site yesterday and she has a brilliant idea (well I think it's brilliant anyway), and because I'm so short of brilliant ideas these days, I'm going to steal it for here. Couple Butterfly's idea with Denny blogging about his world travels and the fact that all my money is going into a trip fund to get my ass back to Canada...I was thinking... what a great way to transport part of me to somewhere else on this earth of ours. Astro-travelling is so last season don't ya know. Ok, so it's only my handwriting, but it's still me isn't it? And as much as I love the internet and the connections I've made on it, there really isn't anything quite like the handwritten word. And how great would it be to receive something in your letterbox that doesn't come in a window envelope or demand money?? I ask you...how many of you have REALLY won that million dollars that Reader's Digest is always harping on about?? So...have a q

I have updated my audio over there in the sidebar. I cheated and read the post from yesterday "My Anna". I still have the lisp (not in real life but on this recording programme) so, if you can get past that, hopefully you'll be able to understand what I'm saying. Considering the words I'm reading are on my previous post, you shouldn't have any problem! I'm still waiting on suggestions of a website or reading that i can use for their wedding people. Come on, someone out there's gotta have an idea of what I can read that will convey how I feel about them. The most important part of it will be that I can get through reading something without dissolving into tears. Sobbing my way through a reading in front of their loved ones will not be a good look. lol And keeping in line with the marriage thing, I got sent this joke the other day, and feel the need to share it with you: A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several month

You may have seen me mention Anna, Jason and Jaimee throughout my blog at certain times. Anna is very important to me...she's like family...I've known her for over 10 years and I met her through my brother, when he and Anna were an item for a few years. In fact they were my tenants downstairs, while David went through Police College. We saw a lot of Anna during that time, she spent more time upstairs here with us, than downstairs on her own while he was away training. As time went by, their relationship ended but my friendship with her did not. We've been tight ever since, both of us there to support each other and laugh and cry at various events that have happened over the years. Anna was also one of the original members of my softball team (NFI), she was the youngest and is one of those sporty gifted people that will ace any sport they turn their hand to. Needless to say, she often put the rest of us to shame, and was referred to as "Our Secret Weapon". She had

I've been messing around in my hard drive trying to figure out how many music files I have there. Not many at all actually. And so, here we go with the thrilling meme I was tagged with from the Lovely Lisa some time ago. Total volume of music files on my computer: As already stated above, an appallingly small amount compared to the rest of you it seems. In fact only 157 MB, which breaks down to 66 songs. I did have a lot more at one stage but due to being spywared to pieces and some rather explicit pictures of boobs, bums and bits mysteriously appearing before my eyes (not to mention my youngest son's during that time), I gave up downloading music off the net altogther. The last CD I bought: Um, to be honest I can't rightly remember. I will go so far as to say it was pretty girlie girlie....like Shania Twain's "Up" and Delta Goodren's "Innocent Eyes". To try and save some face here, I did also buy Linkin Park and Evanesence, but LInkin Par

My hands are so cold I can barely type today. I've been out of bed for several hours already and I still can't make them work properly yet. Do you think maybe riggamortis is setting in already? I went out last night with a close friend for dinner. I wasn't that hungry really...not the kind of 'steak and potatoes' hungry anyway, but I bloody ordered that anyway. Scotch fillet steak (extra mushroom gravy), vegetables of the day (steamed carrots, broccoli and cauliflower), and baby potatoes with sour cream. My dinner arrived...it looked great. Until I cut into the middle of the steak...it was raw in the middle. I'm afraid I can't eat meat like that...nope....I'm not one for having blood seeping out all over the plate. I ate a little around it, and thought that maybe I'll just cope with the veges and forget about the steak. Then it occurred to me.... that steak had cost me $23. Let's face it, I wasn't paying $23 for the veges was I? Bug

After my sobbing session in the kitchen yesterday at work, one of the first things I did when I returned to the front desk....was ring my hairdresser and get an appointment with her for this morning. She was able to accommodate, YES! There's nothing like sitting back in a chair and having someone playing with your hair, when you need to wind down right? Or more importantly, when you're feeling in a draggy kinda mood and need the extra lift, getting a girl's hair done is right up there with chocolate consumption and the love of a good Canadian man, to make her feel better. And what about that head massage when the conditioner goes on?? "Oh oh OOOOOOOH! That feels sooooo good....right there, yeah right there...oh God, that's perfect...yeeeeaaah" . So, that's where I've been this morning. She chomped more out of my thick mass, talked about how fast my hair grows and "Look at how bloody thick it still is!" after she'd peeled out her th

I cried at work today. Not because of anything dramatic with a patient...but purely because I finally cracked (lol). Well, I believe I must be premenstrual, because during all the years I've worked here, I've never EVER cried at work before. NOT EVER (I say that with such emphasis because just about everyone else has at some stage). The frustration of not being able to fit everyone in that needed a doctor, having to turn patients away, a 3 year old that cried almost non stop for 30 minutes...and the final straw for me being the ignorance of one of the nurses (not unusual for this particular nurse, but today I didn't seem to be able to let it slide). I can't be bothered going into all the details of it, but that was it for me. Annette came back to the desk...took one look at the expression on my face and ordered me to go and have a break (like she has the authority pfft lol). Knowing it was indeed time I vacated the front desk (or I was going to put on a little side

Hallo Everybardee! (that's my Sharon Osborne impersonation.) I'm listening to Lemar's "If There's Any Justice" while I'm sitting here wracking my brain as to what to write today. And this song coupled with the recent brain-hurty questions that are being flung at us via Lisa's blog have me wondering. How many people out there are sitting in unhappy partnerships/marriages out there? How many are bobbling along in their marriages, for fear of not wanting to be alone or for the sake of the children etc? I spent 15 years with my husband before I finally realised we just weren't the same people we used to be and no amount of compromise was going to get us through the rest of life together. I met him when I was 18...seperated from him at the age of 33...one a teenager, the other a much different woman and the mother of two boys. I don't regret this time of my life, not one iota...there's a lot of learning and growing to had in those 15 years. My