Because I can ...

For years whenever my kids come out with 'street talk', I've always told them "Please don't speak like that at home, you can save that kind of talk for your friends at school". Every now and then to wind me up, and after I've asked the fatal question of "How was your day honey?". I've had "Waasup Mama G? Primo...just hangin' with ma homey Bros, are ya hearin' me?" *bobbing head from side to side*. This used to result in me rolling my eyes, until I discovered I could play them at their own game by shooting back with something similar (I need to watch Ali G more often, he has been a fascinating source of information for me). Seperately my kids are brilliant...together?...Oh...My...God! They taunt me to distraction! On his own, 14 is extremely helpful when it comes to grocery shopping with me. He pushes the cart around, offering suggestions and telling me not to forget certain items (such as milk, it's always friggin milk!)...

After all the bitching I did last week about my internal organs and lack of periods etc, this morning I woke at 5.30am and had to get out of bed to clean up the mess my body had made. Yes, I can hear all the "Eew!"s you lot just said, I have extra special hearing abilities don't ya know. Now if I haven't made you shudder with disgust and scared you off with that, here's my post for the day. After Operation Bleech, I came online and read some blog stuff for half an hour. As my eyes were forcing themselves to close and my body was starting to droop over the keyboard, I realised I really should've been back in bed...so off I trotted. I had a really odd dream. Something strange about the bed kinda rocking and then my body gravitating off the mattress (still in the fetal position cos it's so cold here). It was when I flew through the wall painlessly that it was confirmed, this really was a weird dream (although at the time I thought "How cool!"). Half...

As I'm sitting here and mindlessly playing Zuma, I'm thinking hard about a subject for today (yes, I know I just contradicted myself, thank you). Walker is talking to me on the headset...I'm telling him I feel so dog tired this afternoon...he says "Ok, well you could go and lie down for a while"... "No, I don't want to, I want to stay here with you" ...."Ok...soooo...let's think about something you could post for today"... "No...I don't want to...I just want to be difficult...like all my patients were this morning" . If I wasn't so knackered, I'd cheer for the man and throw confetti or something...he didn't even sigh in weary frustration at my attitude...(unless he turned his mic off lol). So, after thinking about what to post, I have decided to cheat this afternoon. I am going to post my entry from way back whenever it was...and tell you about the first time I met Walker. Our first meeting in October last year...

My best friend rang me last night...unfortunately she's not been feeling so hot health-wise recently. Yesterday afternoon she lay down in the back room to rest her weary body and close her eyes. However long later she got up and went into the kitchen...the phone rings...it's the police. Apparently my 5 year old godson had rung NZ's emergency phone number of 111 and told them he was home alone. He backed this up with "My Mummy went to the shop to get icecream and my friend Nathan is being mean to me". The police woman that rang back said that they'd had quite a nice conversation. Course, my friend hadn't left him alone at all...she was still there...and he knew exactly where she was. This is commonly known as 'taking advantage of a situation' or 'changing the expression on Mummy's face in a split second'. Those that have young children are aware that kiddies don't stay in bed until 9am every day as we'd often like them to. ...

Two things I'm going to address today are due to a couple of questions asked by Bella (one from my comments yesterday and the other from her most recent post ). One is about how I feel about Walker now reading my blog, and the other is about jealousy. 1. Because Bella has been here with me, since the creation of my blog, she could easily put herself in Walker's shoes and understand the feelings that swept over him when he came upon my blog one day by clicking on 'next blog'. I won't go into the details of that chapter of our relationship...it was fraught with confusion for me, and I had ended my relationship with Walker for all the wrong reasons. Bella asked me yesterday if Walker reading my blog has changed what I say in it. She realises that it has changed in some ways, but is wanting to know how much, as Nicholas (her man in the US) is now also reading hers. Yes, it's changed things for me. I don't feel right about blogging any negative thoughts I may ha...

Last night I went along to dinner and drinks at a good friend's house. There were about 45 people altogether...we were doing a continuation of celebrating my girlfriend's 40th (you know, the surprise party I went to a couple of weeks ago?). It WAS a surprise and her hubby didn't know about it either (he's soooo bad at keeping even the smallest secret from her, so we chose not to tell him). He did look rather wounded that night and said "I can't believe none of you told ME!". His wife responded with "Oh come on honey, you KNOW I would've found out the same day they told you..you're hopeless at keeping things from me". Anyway, hubby had tried to arrange a bit of a surprise for her, himself. He had been ringing around asking us about all coming over for a barbeque/party...HIS surprise was to be on the same day, as we'd already scheduled OUR surprise for her. He couldn't understand how come so many people were unavailable to com...

In one of my posts this week I mentioned something about singing into my hairbrush. This reminds me of way back when I was a youngster and what I spent a lot of my time doing with my cousin. My cousin and I only lived about 100 yards from each other...our birthdays were only 2 months apart...and we were in the same class at school together. We did absolutely everything together. Including riding our bikes around the neighbourhood...trying to get into trouble...but both of us were too sweet and innocent (translates to 'lacking the balls') to be too naughty. We were forever stealing various foods and cooking utensils out of our parents fridges and cupboards...then hauling said bounty across to the otherside of the riverbank...and making a fire amongst the rocks to cook it all. One such day I recall, was during the height of summer and there was a fire ban in the city. In other words, no barbeques, nothing to do with fires...the flora and fauna being far to dry at that time o...

Denny wrote a post tonight/today, and asked us all what we do on Friday nights now that we’re ‘older and wiser’, well not in those words exactly, but that was my interpretation of what he asked. First, let me tell you what I did with my Friday day, besides getting the lovely lady at the service station to make me a hot drink…and besides almost running over H&B on the way home. The rest of my Friday was spent doing the menial tasks of housework and watching some TV that I’d taped the night before….but more importantly I spent the majority of the day squirming because I was hornier than a field full of hornets that have been sprinkled in horny dust! Yesiree, I was aching to get my hands on my 6 foot tall strapping Canadian man…so much so, I would’ve been willing to actually hang from the ceiling in a harness wearing fake angel wings and strumming a harp, to get what I wanted. *slaps hands together* “ Please God, just for today, I’ll behave myself and not think about running down cyc...

This morning I opened my eyes to a beautiful sunny autumn day here in Wellington. I crawled out of bed, pulled the curtains back...and the sun came streaming through to touch my face and mix it's warmth with the contentment of my soul. Days like this always induce such motivation in me. I have a rather large bedroom window....and at various distances and heights, I have 4 different shaped Austrian crystals hanging along it's frame. This time of year is the best as far as the height of the sun is concerned for my crystals. When I opened the curtains this morning, there were immediately hundreds of tiny rainbows scattered across the interior walls of my bedroom..spilling out into the hallway and across to the walls of the bathroom. All I need to do is spin these crystals and I will fill the room with hundreds of moving rainbows, spraying themselves across my walls....dancing up and down like tiny laughing angels...all wearing a beautiful plethora of colourful costumes. One...

I've been so difficult to deal with lately. I mean...I've been irritable, and kinda argumentative. Not that I'm spoiling for a good fight, but everything seems to bug the shit out of me at the moment. And how many times can a girl use PMS as a reason for being a bitch? Last week while I was busy blubbering in the Principal's office at the school, I figured I must've been pre-menstrual. As shocked as I was by hearing the decision of a suspension for 14, I still feel I've more strength than to break down in front of the college staff. Anyone who doesn't want to listen about 'period' talk can tune out now, cos I'm going to speak briefly about this. Are they gone?......Ok, on with the subject at hand. It seems that for the past couple of years my body has been rebelling against it's estrogen content. My periods used to be extremely regular....every month turning up on exactly the right day. Now, well as I mentioned, for the past two year...

I took the boys to a carnival on Saturday night. It was an afterthought actually. One of my good friend's daughters was part of the singing entertainment that evening, and she'd (the daughter) rang me on Saturday to ask what I was up to that evening *hint hint* I always like to be at one of her performances. She's only 16, but has the voice of an angel and I hate missing out on her singing. The very first time I heard her, she was singing at the College Music Festival...she sang "Angel" by Sarah McLaughlan...sitting next to me was her mother, who sobbed so loudly through the entire performance, I would've been surprised if she'd actually heard her daughter singing at all. Anyway Jess rang me that afternoon to drum up some more audience for herself...apparently the night before she'd sung to a crowd of 6 people. 6! This carnival is only around for part of the school break, and it being the first night (and fairly chilly at that) I suspect most p...

This young lady is a very special reader of mine. In fact she is the one and only blogger who ever used to comment on my blog months ago when I first started writing. During the ups and downs of my rollercoaster ride of personal international espionage (not really, but felt like it at the time lol), Bella was there to offer me a shoulder...she's given me her thoughts on what I was going through...and through it all, I felt incredibly grateful that she was listening to me and understanding my situation. Noone would ever know this now, because when I was fussing around installing Haloscan, all the Blogger commenting disappeared and I can't be arsed figuring out how to get them back (although I did try messing around with it for a while, because my situation did change for the better, I chose to leave it be and put that chapter to rest). Here's her story in a nutshell (as I see it): Bella situation is very similar to mine. Her man lives in another country. The US to be exact...

It's been one week since a few things turned upside down in this house. Last Monday, we found out 15's boss had died tragically in a car accident and that my youngest son had been misbehaving at school to the point I was called in to see the principal on the Tuesday morning. He was suspended. Yesterday was the funeral. It was held at the Town Hall in central Wellington and because 15 wanted to attend, then of course I didn't want to stop him. I arranged for someone else to cover my shift so he wouldn't have to go alone. It was a lovely service. The Town Hall was jam-packed with people who loved and respected this man and his family. The pallbearers carried his coffin out of the auditorium to Elton John's "Yellow Brick Road". That's when I shed some tears. 15 looked sideways at me...you'd think he'd be used to me crying by now. 15 was strong, he didn't cry (although he told me later that he felt bad that he didn't, and wondered if there ...

And now for some juicy personal bits about me; 75. I've shaved my pubic region once, and due to the itching it caused afterwards, I shall never do it again. I don't want to be hearing about all the creams or potions I could use to stop the itching...I'm just never going to do it again. It was an itchy nuisance. 76. I love to talk dirty during sex. It turns me on more. 77. Hearing the f and c words during sex talk makes me hornier. (Geesh, get me, I can't even type them out in full here, hence the "blah blah blah" in previous posts lol) 78. I've always been self-conscious of my body, especially when getting naked. Yet, once the first kiss happens, I completely forget about the scary naked bit and am totally involved with what I'm feeling and what I'm doing to make my partner feel good. 79. I'm a noisy kinda girl in the sack. Even biting the pillow doesn't tend to muffle me enough. (eg 14 coming knocking on my bedroom do...

Ok, here's my next instalment of 25. I'm slowly getting there. 51. My favourite alcoholic drink is Jim Beam bourbon and diet coke (although I'm also partial to butterscotch ripple, chocolate martinis and strawberry dacquaeries). 52. Favourite pizza topping is chicken, camenbert cheese and cranberry sauce. My second favourite is seafood; mussels, crabmeat, shrimps etc. 53. I've never been arrested. 54. I worked selling hot dogs at the circus when I was 13. 55. I've been to only 3 open-air concerts in my life; two were Dire Straits, the other one was Eurythmics. 56. My wedding dress went into a goodwill bin a couple of years after my husband and I separated. 57. I used to have a bumblebees nest in the wall of the flat downstairs. When the boys were little, we used to sit on the steps and watch the bees go about their work. It was fascinating to watch them fly out at a great speed, to come back a little later, laiden down with pollen, flying slower and wobbling around ...

My best friend rang this morning...to tell me that my 5 year old godson has apparently being going next door each morning before 830 to say hi to the neighbours. She found this out whilst taking her older son to soccer today...the neighbour came over and said to her son "Hello, Master Dynamo, as much as I enjoy seeing you, would you mind not making it at 8.15am? This reminded me of years ago when my two were toddlers. Our next door neighbours had two daughters that were about 8 and 10 years older than my sons. These four kids used to play together a lot and so the neighbours house became my boys' home away from home. I never realised just how comfortable my kids were next door, until my neighbour (Gail) told me that 15 was a regular visitor over there in the morning after her husband had left for work. Her hubby is a truck mechanic and leaves for work at 6am every morning (bugger that)....Gail was starting to get a little peeved at opening her eyes at 6.15 in the morning to 15...

Just as I was in the lovely stage of drifting into dreamland last night...I hear 14's bedroom door open and the sound of his familiar steps down the hallway...they stopped outside my door. I shook myself to full alerness. "Something wrong Honey?" "Mum? What's that shaking?....the house is kinda shaking" Our house is built on a slight hill...half of the house is built on solid ground...the front end is held up by stilts...well kinda, there's the flat and the garage that the front end is sitting on too...anyway, I digress....14's bedroom is at the front end of the house, and directly above the bedroom of the newly married tenants below *cough* "Oh" ....(I turned back the covers of the bed)... "Come hop in here beside me and I'll explain that to you" Anything to have a warm cuddly male body in bed with me...desperate sad woman that I am. We had a quick chat about nothing that I can remember right now...then he asks again "S...

For want of a better post, I shall continue my "100 things" list. Don't forget, these are in no particular order. Soooo, let's get on with it: 25. My father's hair is completely white now. He's 71 years old. 26. I have been going prematurely grey/white for the past 10 years, and have to dye my roots at least every six weeks. This sucks on a financial basis. But sucks more for me, cos I feel like shit if everyone can see obvious root growth lol. 27. I drive a 1999 Ford Laser XLR automatic hatchback. 28. My very first car was a dirty white Honda Accord. 29. My best subject at school was Shorthand Typing. 30. I was 'let go' (aka fired) from my first job as Engineering Secretary after 2 years...they felt I wasn't coping with the work load very well....three people were employed to replace me. Bastards! 31. My favourite colours are yellow (because it's bright and sunny), black (because I like the slimming effect it gives me) and white (because I l...

This morning I feel differently about yesterday, thanks to your comments and Walker's post for today. Last night while I was at work, and as I was thinking about the post I made earlier in the day, I was embarrassed about how dramatic I became on this issue. Today I feel stronger and ready to handle the situation. Yesterday I was a crying, vulnerable mess of a woman. I hate feeling vulnerable and insecure...and most of all I hate doubting my ability to raise my children. Fuck it, I'm a damn good mother. I've done the best I can under any given situation over the years. And Kurt you're right...my ex-husband and I were in an unhappy marriage...and once I'd spoken to him about separation and he moved out of the house...there was a noticeable sigh of relief from everyone, that it was over. Prior to that the tension was incredible. I was hoping that my kids were old enough by then to understand once I'd explained the situation to them. I know there are always ...

14 was suspended from school today. Next week he has to go before the Board of Trustees and give them some good reasons for why they should allow him to remain at that school. The Principal has taken this route because he feels that the school staff can no longer keep 14's manner and temper under control...and by losing that control over one of their students...it can impact on the others. I sat in the Principal's office today and listened to the Principal read out a list of things my son has done over the past 16 months. He's told one teacher to piss off...called another an arsehole...threw a chair across the room...(there's a couple more to add to this list, but they escape my mind right now)...recently he threatened his math teacher...and yesterday told the Deputy Principal to get stuffed. Looking back over these 'charges', it seems to me that 14 has only ever taken his anger and frustration out on adults. For the past few years, I've occasionally hea...

I'm going to attempt to do my '100 things about Me' in 4 lots of 25. So, without further ado, and in no particular order (but as they spring to mind)...let me begin: 1. I come from a family of 6. Four children, two parents. I come in second. Two sisters, and my brother is the baby of the family. 2. I'm the only child that was planned. Which could have me thinking I'm "the Chosen One". When I went through my teens, my father continued to called me "the good one" 3. I used to do a lot of singing on stage up to the age of 16. Came first in many talent quests and competitions and have sung on tv once. 4. I started smoking at the age of 18 and ruined my singing career (haha), so now I only sing in the shower. 5. I'm made up of all the colours of the rainbow. Nah...I'm half polynesian islander, my father is a full blooded Nuie island boy...my mother is part German, English and Welsh. (I always wondered how my grandparents got together during th...

Where do I start? Very busy at work this morning. That's no unsual, especially for a Monday morning. As you will see, I'm not swearing in this post, so it can't have been as bad as Friday afternoon. I had a lady caller later in the morning...she was quite upset because she'd been to see a specialist earlier today and found out she had a cyst growing on one of her ovaries. If that wasn't enough, the specialist then told her they were going to have to remove her uterus. "I'm 40 years old and I don't have any children yet...at the time I went numb and I couldn't think properly....now I've had time to think about things, I have lots of questions I want to ask. Is there any way you can fit me in to see my doctor today so I can get some answers, or perhaps another option?". I really felt for this lady, what a shock to start her week off with. I'm not ready to have any more children myself...in fact I feel I'm completely over that h...

I don't like being one to shag and run, but that's what I did last night. Well, I didn't have alot of choice at the time....I had another "blah blah blah" session with the favourite man in my life...and then rushed into the shower, chucked some clothes on and ran out to the door to a dear friend's 40th surprise party. Had a great time...danced a couple of dances...ate food I shouldn't have....had only one alcoholic beverage....drank water the rest of the night...sounds boring, but I enjoyed myself...although I was home by 11.30pm and tucked up in bed. This is a short and sweet(ish) post today. I did however want to share this new blog I've been reading lately. Some funny and interesting reading here . Nice guy...lives in Ontario, Canada. Take a look....don't be afraid to comment...and I don't mind if you want to let him know I sent you. I'm all for spreading the comment love. That's all for now...I'm feeling drained today....I...

I think I need to remember that when I've been drinking....I'm not to be posting....drinking and posting don't seem to go together too well for me it seems. (Bad girl Sara!...Bad BAD girl!!) My apologies for all the expletives I used in last night's post. As you could tell, I was high on anger and frustration. I came home from work, stomped around for awhile....grilled some marinated chicken wings, poured myself a large bourbon and coke and sat down to watch some tv. Eventually I felt I was 'together' enough to come online to talk and blog...obviously that wasn't the case...cos I turned into a bit of a potty mouth. (It was the alcohol that did it! I swear! I'm usually such an angel). After talking to Canada on the headset and spitting out some of what happened (ok, I spat out pretty much all that happened)....I whinged and moaned and ranted at him and he nodded his head and 'uh huh"ed his way through my spouting. When I'm done...I'm...

After posting this morning, about how much I enjoy my job...I had the most shitface fucked up afternoon...there were so many patients I felt like smashing in the face! No wonder I became a hero at the surgery when I said I'd take on doing Friday afternoons for 3 months!!! Fuck sake, it was horrible! Stupid fucken bastardy impatient people who have no compassion in their small minds for others. How am I supposed to keep these people happy?? And why should I? They don't give a toss about anyone but themselves anyway. I've done plenty of Friday afternoons before....done it because the usual receptionist needed a 3 month break...so I KNOW what doing Fridays entails....I went to work this afternoon braced and ready for the onslaught...but Mary Mother of God!...next time I'm gonna be wearing armour and carry a damn cow prod. I'm so exhausted after today's shift that I don't even want to think about it. The thought of it exhausts me. I'm now on my third triple ...

No no, not alone...not really. In fact, I don't like being alone too often...that would mean I'd have to make a movie with me conducting an invisible orchestra and mouthing out the words to "All By Myself"...so it's best that I'm not alone all the time. I've been a medical receptionist for almost four years now. Prior to that my work career has always been as a secretary or Personal Assistant to a General Manager, CEO, construction executive or the like and I have to say that now, I think this is probably the most enjoyable job I've had. I love dealing with the public...I love smiling at the patients....mind you, I don't enjoy gritting my teeth and trying to keep smiling at the difficult ones...but for the most part, I really enjoy what I do. I have several favourite patients...one of which came in a couple of days ago...he's a very charming, quick thinking 72 year old gent...and omg, I could just imagine what he was like to deal with in his yo...